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I love my best friend. She means the world to me. I've only really known her since year eight. She went to my Primary, but we never had really talked before we were put together in Geography.
"Eww. There's a hair in my pasta. That's disgusting." She held up her fork where a single grey hair was stuck to a piece of pasta. The whole table burst out laughing. Hayley pushed the bowl away from her. "You're all horrible to me."
"Aw, we love you really." I hugged her over the table. I went back to breaking up my flapjack. School's food was disgusting. "Anyone coming outside?"
I lay back and soaked in as much sun as possible. Why was it always sunny when we were at school?
A couple of lads were playing football not far from us. I concentrated on watching them for a while. A couple of the lads came over.
"Hey, what do you think? Is leather my thing or not?" I burst out with hysterical laughter when I saw Mike try on Beth's jacket. "Anyone want some chewy?" He offered it around. It was relief to get the horrid taste of school dinners out of my mouth and replace it with minty freshness.
"Who's is it?" Hannah took a piece and hesitated before she put it in her mouth.
"It's Harry's. He doesn't exactly know I have it."I stopped chewing.
"That's horrible. I can't even give it back." I was smiling as i said it. I knew he wouldn't mind.
I heard the bell go in the distance. I got up and wiped mud off my butt. I put my bag over my shoulder and started to walk to Guidance with Hayley.
"We're in here because we're watching a video today. Everyone be quiet." Everyone was still yelling across the classroom. No one really like Mr Granger. He dimmed the lights. My heart stopped when I saw the name of it.
I sat in the dark and couldn't take my eyes off the film. Everyone else voices were out of my head. I could barely breathe when the lights finally came back on.
"Tess? Are you okay?" Hayley was shaking me. I nodded.
"Can anyone tell me what the video was about?" I wanted to get out of there, but I knew that then people would be suspicious.
"It was about a girl who was raped and murdered. She wasn't even that fit." The whole class laughed as usual at the class clown. My hands were balled into fists.
"I don't see what that has to do with anything. I think you should stay behind for that comment. It's very disrespectful." I could feel eyes on me. I was being paranoid.
"She was talking to people online and wanted to meet him, but well it wasn't who she thought it was and he did stuff to her." Memories came rushing back. It was taking up all my energy to not cry.
"That's right. It shows us how dangerous it is to talk to strangers on the Internet." Hayley was looking at her. I wish that I'd already told her. I was looking anywhere apart from to her. My eyes locked onto a girl across the classroom.
She looked knowingly at me. I realised it was my best friend from primary, Kathy. It made me feel slightly better that someone knew why it was upsetting me.
I had to go through another hour of school before i could go home. Hayley noticed something was wrong, but never asked. She knew if I wanted to say anything I would.
"Tess, please could you put the washing out?" My mother walked into the room. I looked up as the tears fell. "What's wrong?" She came and sat next to me on the bed. I cried into her shoulder.
"We were talking about... s... sexual abuse in Guidance." She hugged me closer. They kept saying how dangerous it was meeting someone off the Internet."
"That has nothing to do with what happened to you." I could tell she was confused. I didn't want to explain.
"I kept thinking, why me? Why did it happen to me? I didn't do anything dangerous." Her top was getting increasingly damp.
"I know Hun. I know." She started to rock me. I'd already started and couldn't stop.
"It was at my home. I wasn't on the street. It was in my home, with a person I was meant to trust. Why did he do it to me? He was my step-brother, he still is." The tears came harder than ever before.
"I thought you were over this. I thought you had forgotten." I had forgotten and I wanted to forget again. It stopped me from seeing my dad for years. I hated him. I hated my step-brother.
"How can i forget?" I fell asleep with tears in my eyes. I knew i was scarred for life. I hid away those feelings years ago. I hate him. I'll never stop hating him. No matter who I pretend to be, I will always be the girl sho was abused. For me, it isn't some other girl I don't know. It's me.