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Ashley's Playlist For Messed Up People
Ashley lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. Once pure white, it was now tarnished by black marks everywhere from the countless shoes and books thrown at it during hundreds of fits of anger and despair. Kind of like her, she thought, and laughed bitterly.
Right now, though, Ashley was too exhausted to do anything more than roll over and punch the “on” button on her radio in preparation for station flipping.
The first song crackled into life. It was an old O.A.R. song wondering how many times someone could break before they shattered. Yeah, well, she could answer that question. Infinite times. Every time you thought you’d hit bottom, you’d just fall farther. She chose not to ruminate on the depressing thoughts that knowledge spawned and instead pressed scan.
Some pop station cam on, and P!nk’s powerful pipes started singing about how everyone was perfect. Sure, P!nk, sure. Tell that to society. Ashley managed to forget about mirrors and scales and let the music carry her away until she remembered that P!nk had written the song for her unborn child. That little fact, of course, made Ashley think of her mom, which ruined her good music mood.
A popular Evanescence song was in full swing. The dark melodies reflected her mood back at her, which only served to worsen her depression. Ashley blinked away tears at the realization that no one cared enough to try to bring her to life and angrily punched the scan button.
Love is unstoppable? Really, Rascall Flatts? Ever visited the place known as the real world?
Now it was Three Day’s Grace saying it was never too late. Ashley sighed and pushed her hair back from her forehead. Why did she always get songs that reminded her of her issues when all she wanted the music for was to forget them? Couldn’t she get a nice Big Time Rush song or something?
An alt rock song blasted through the radio’s speakers instead. Yes, I really did f**k it up this time, my dear. Ashley hated her radio. Why couldn’t it give her nice happy songs to cheer her up?!
Another pop station came on. Ke$ha was singing about how she wasted the love of her life by lying to him. For a split second, a boy with laughing brown eyes flashed in Ashley’s mind before she closed her eyes hard. Really, radio? With all the crazy party songs Ke$ha has, you would give me her only regretful sad one.
A Christian station. Oh, God, she thought. No pun intended. The song caught her interest, though. It was a group she didn’t recognize singing mournfully about how horrible their lives were, begging God to notice them. Well, she could relate. She stayed on the station through the whole song, but once a peppy voice started talking about how to get your teenagers to go to church, she decided it was time to scan again. It wasn’t like she didn’t hear this all the time on the radio every time she got in her mom’s van.
Rihanna crooned about how much she loved the way Eminem lied. If only that happened in real life. Again, the image of the beautiful boy appeared in Ashley’s mind before she quickly cut off both the image and the pulsing music by pressing scan.
As static hissed from the radio, Ashley tried to guess what the next station would be. It turned out to be old pop. Some moron kept twanging about how the first cut was the deepest. Cretin. If Ashley knew anything for certain in her horrible life, it was that the beautiful blade cut deeper every time.