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Scene one (Sarah and Ami are best friends, eating lunch on the school bleachers. The sky is grey and cloudy. They discuss a failed relationship between Sarah and her ‘mystery man’. Ami leaves for the bathroom when Ira, a tall, possessive, good looking young lad approaches)
Ami: Do you wish to go back?
Sarah: A little, perhaps.
Ami: Do you wish to move forward and leave him behind?
Ami: Which will you choose?
Sarah: I don’t know.(troubled) You should know by now I’m no good at decisions.
Ami: Yes. Very true. That’s why I’ll pick for you. Forget about him. Let go of the fantasy.
Sarah: I’ll try.
The two silently eat their lunch.
Ami: Well, back in a few, Tweedle Dumb. I have to pee.
Sarah: Yes Tweedle Dee. (Ami exits, Ira enters)
Ira: You are downcast? (with concern)
Sarah: I am. Life is pointless. Life is grim. It’s unfair.(sighs) I wish to die.
Ira: I can make you happy.
Sarah: You can try.(shrugging) Do something to make me smile.
Ira: I love you. (Kisses her on cheek and the sun come out)
Sarah: That was nice.(smiling) I feel warm and fuzzy. But it won’t last. I’ll be unhappy again tomorrow. (heart sinking)
Ira: I will love you tomorrow as well. I’ll love you forever.
Sarah: Promise? (hopeful)
Ira: I promise. We’ll meet again tomorrow. (Hands her a rose.) Never put this down. (Meaningfully)(Exits)
Sarah: Of course. (Dreamily sniffing the rose) Long silence.
Ami re-enters and finds Sarah Grinning
Ami: You are in higher spirits all of a sudden.
Sarah: Yes. The sun has come out again!
Ami: The sun? (surveying the sky)
Sarah: Yes the sun.
Ami: I only see clouds.
Sarah: What are you talking about? (excitedly) The sun is very bright, and the clouds are gone!
Ami: Oh dear, you’re happy and delusional again. I must say melancholy better suits you.
Sarah: You are jealous? (challenging Ami)
Sarah: Then be happy for me. I am loved! (twirls around sniffing rose)
Ami: (calmly reasoning with Sarah)We went over this. No one loves you. You are unkind. Grumpy. Morbid. You make children cry. You abuse small animals. And quite frankly, you’re ugly.
Sarah: He loves me anyway. Isn’t that crazy! (sits again day dreaming)
Ami: Absurd.(rolloing eyes) Good bye. I’ve had enough of your fantasies!
Scene two (Eating lunch again, the next day)
Sarah: What a dreadfully grey day. (observing the clouds)
Ami: Yes. It is rather grey, isn’t it?
Sarah: The sun will come out soon. (confidently)
Ami: How do you know?
Sarah: Ira’s on his way. (dreamy)
Ami: Ira is just a figment of your imagination. He isn’t real. (frustrated)
Sarah: He is real. You’re a fool not to believe. (distracted by rose)
Ami: You’re a fool! Wretched misguided fool!
Sarah: That’s rude. (passively)
Ami: Then be rude back. (pokes Sarah trying to antogonize her)
Sarah: No. I don’t do that anymore.
Ami: Come on! Say something awful! You know you want to! (pleading)
Sarah: I don’t.
Ami: You do!
Sarah: Fine. But only for your benefit. (Indifferently) You’re the saddest excuse for a human being, ever to be born into this unwelcoming world.
Ami: (disappointed sigh) That was not sincerely rude. You can do better than that.
Sarah: That’s all you’re getting. (shrugging)
Ami: Fine. (sighs) Can we just enjoy our chocolate snack and not discuss Ira?
Sarah: I suppose.
The two eat the chocolate in silence.
Ami: Alright my partner in crime, lets go prank some kids.
Sarah: Not today.(shaking head)
Ami: Why not?
Sarah: I’m meeting Ira today.
Ami huffs and puffs, turns on her heel, then stomps away. Silence until Ira enters.
Ira: I saw that.
Sarah: Saw what? (looking around wildly in confusion)
Ira: What you did.
Sarah: What did I do? (frowning)
Ira: You ate chocolate.
Sarah: So? (ignorantly)
Ira: I say eating chocolate is wrong. It’s unclean. Unhealthy. If you love me you won’t do it.
Sarah: I’m sorry. I didn’t know. (Sadly) Are you mad?
Ira: Just disappointed.
Sarah: Do you still love me? (fearing rejection)
Ira: Of course. (kisses her cheek and the sun comes out. Sarah smiles) Remember. Never put the rose down. (Ira exits) Long silence.
Scene 3 (Again eating lunch at the bleachers)
Ami: I brought more chocolate.
Sarah: I can’t eat chocolate anymore.
Ami: That’s silly. Of course you can. (brushing off the ridiculous comment)
Sarah: No. Ira would be upset.
Ami: Ira isn’t real you ignorant boob! But even if he was, he’s not around right now. Is he?
Sarah: Ira sees everything.
Ami: But look how delicious this looks. (Waves chocolate in front of her face)
Sarah: Well, maybe just a taste.( Silently accepts the chocolate)
Ami: Now let’s play patty cake. Put the rose down. Silence
Sarah: I can’t. Ira might think I don’t love him.
Ami: (Groaning.) How are you supposed to have any fun? (pouts)
Sarah: Okay, okay. Just one quick game of patty cake. (she puts the rose down on the ground beside her. They play patty cake.Then she is silent a while.) I need to meet Ira.
Ami: Well I’m not staying for that. (Ami her rolls eyes and walks away)
Ira: I’m disappointed.
Sarah shifts her feet.
Ira: I saw what you did.
Sarah hangs her head.
Sarah: I’m sorry. Do you still love me?
Ira: Yes. But I don’t think you should spend time with Ami anymore.
Sarah: (exasperated) Why?
Ira: She’s a bad influence.
Sarah: But she’s my best friend!
Ira: I’m you’re best friend now. You don’t need any one but me.(Sarah nods sadly.) You are sad?
Sarah: yes. (Ira kisses her cheek and the sun comes up half way.)
Ira: Remember. Never put the rose down. (exits) (silence)
Scene 4 (Sarah and Ami have their backs to eachother as they eat in silence. Ami breaks the silence)
Ami: Let’s go trip someone. (thoughtful)
Sarah: I can’t. Ira says I can’t hang out with you anymore. (unpleased)
Ami: That’s ridiculous! Why not?
Sarah: He thinks you’re a bad influence.
Ami: What? Why that dirt bag!
Sarah: Don’t call him that! You porky fool! (Jabs Ami’s abdomen.)
Sarah: Filthy Dog!
Ami: Regurgitated lunch meat?
Sarah: That’s gross!
Sarah: Oh yea? Well… your mother stinks.
Ami: Now that’s going a little too far.
Sarah: (Expression softening) You think so?
Ami: Yes. That’s more like you! That sure was fun.
Sarah: It kind of was wasn’t it? (reluctantly admitting)
Ami: Forget about Ira.
Sarah considers silently looking at her rose.
Sarah: But I want to be loved.
Ami: We all do. But love isn’t for girls like us. You must accept that. (she takes her hand and tries to pull her along) Come on now. You’ll feel better if you trip someone.
Ami: It’s me or Ira.
Sarah: Then I choose Ira… I think.
(Ami groans, and stomps away.) (Ira enters.)
Ira: I’m proud of you. You made the right choice.
Sarah: But I miss her. (mopey)
Ira: You don’t need her. You only need me.
Sarah: What if that’s not enough?
Ira: I’m always enough. (Kisses Sarah’s cheek, but sun does not come out.)
Sarah sighs in despair.
Ira: (Sighs)You are downcast.
Sarah: Yes. You are unfair. I wish to die.
Ira: I’m not worth living for? (offended)
(Ami enters unexpectedly.)
Ami: Sarah? Who are you talking to?
Sarah: Well Ira of course. (gestures to Ira)
Ami: (frowning) I don’t see him. I told you, he isn’t real.
Ira: Don’t listen to her!
Sarah: (to Ami) Don’t be silly. He’s right here in plain view.
Ami: No. No he’s not. You’re losing your mind. (trying to calmly reason with the distressed Sarah)
Ira: She’s a blind fool!
Sarah: (to Ira) But she has perfect vision…. (flustered)
Ami: Leave behind the fantasy my friend.
Sarah: (considering) I do wish to move forward.
Ira: But what will you live for? Who will love you?
Sarah: (to Ira) I do want to stay with you…
Ira: What will you choose?
Ami: What will you choose?
Sarah: ( Desperately To the sky) I don’t know! I’m chronically indecisive!
Ira: Choose me. You belong to me!
Sarah throws the rose on the ground).
Sarah :(To Ira) I belong to no one. (forcefully)
Ami: That’s the spirit! (takes Sarah’s hand and pulls her along) Come back to reality and don’t look back.
(Sarah takes a few steps, and then stops when a ball hits her in the face. Sarah drops to the ground, Looks back sees Ira is gone.)
Sarah: Oh! Life is pointless! Life is grim! Life is unfair! I wish to die!