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The Cul-de-sac

We've lived on Omaha street since I can remember or as my neighbors like to call it, Obama street. There are many memories from here as new neighbors come and go. Some staying years and others just for the time being. Omaha is a small cul-de-sac of about 15 houses. Right smack dab in the middle of the cul-de-sac is my house. It stands tall, pink and proud for all to see.

Mama's dream was to live in a home the color of tan, like smoothed sandpaper after its been used. The letter from the community requiring us to repaint our house was mom's perfect excuse to persuade my dad with. The painters came the next day. When they were finished my mama's dream colored house lay still and quiet like an embarrassed school boy who had just been punished. “Oh my gosh!” My mom screamed. In front of her was not her dream colored house but a house as pink as bubble gum. A color so bright that it stuck to the house like the smelly fragrance does to a garbage can.
My neighbors didn't really notice the color that much and I couldn't blame them. There was too much happening in the neighborhood already. There was no time to notice the fresh new paint of the neighbors next door. Somethings even went unnoticed under my watchful eye. Two houses down, pale, baby blue. This house looked scary on the outside, like something that would be in a horror film. And on the inside it was suspicious. I don't really know his name, but my brother guesses it is something like Mr. Crims.

Yeah Mr. Crims. I bet that's his name. Mr. Crims! It sounds evil, he says.

Nothing ever seemed right as I'd walk past that house. It gave me a queasy feeling just to look at it.

Parker, me and the triplets from next door, Julia, Joseph and Jeff knew he had to be some kind of criminal or else he'd come out once in a while. Maybe we were right because one day he was just gone. The furniture still left in the house and the water still boiling on the stove. Parker says he was like a most wanted criminal and a drug dealer and that one day he moved so the police wouldn't find him. Joseph says the police came one night when everyone was asleep. He was handcuffed and taken away, just like that. I think I believe Joseph more than I do Parker. The thought of even having a criminal living under our wings for years frightens me.

I guess this goes to show that you can't trust anyone; not even your neighbors. And I've began to learn that the hard way as even more people come passing through Omaha, the place I call my home.





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This article has 27 comments. Post your own now!

Mgymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 14, 2011 at 10:59 pm
Hey guys i posted another story similar to this called My Second Home (which is published on this website) Feel free to check it out and comment and rate it!
 
PerfectMGymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 8, 2011 at 1:16 am
Also i posted a longer version to this story!!! please check it out and tell me what you guys think!! :) and thanks everyone for the feedback! :)
 
Kiyokazu said...
Jan. 4, 2011 at 10:38 am
i love this one to good job :)
 
Mgymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 6, 2011 at 11:40 pm
Thanks! so much!
 
Ellawind said...
Jan. 3, 2011 at 11:00 pm
I feel like it should be a little longer and more detailed, and there are a few run on sentences, but other than that I like it. It's funny and fairly original, and the line about the community wanting them to change the house color made me smile. :)
 
Mgymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 6, 2011 at 11:42 pm
Thanks and it is short! i should try writing a longer version! :) I appreciate the advice!! :)
 
BeedyDevilChild said...
Jan. 2, 2011 at 3:10 pm
I liked this! It was so descriptive, funny and interesting. It kept my attention the whole time!!! This should be published in the teen ink magazine! Because this is amazing!! :) i rated it 10/10 if it went that high!! 
 
Mgymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 6, 2011 at 11:41 pm
Wow! thanks! i'm glad you liked it! :)
 
Katie-Lynn said...
Jan. 1, 2011 at 11:41 pm
I liked it, its beautifully written and very discriptive. Also very easy to relate to:)
 
Mgymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 2, 2011 at 2:54 am
THANKS! I appreciate the positive comment! :):)
 
A.Bekah.Girl This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 1, 2011 at 11:08 am
i really like the description. i think it needs to be expanded...i had to reread parts to make snese of them, kind of like too few words were used to say too much i think. but it's a really good idea.
 
Mgymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 2, 2011 at 2:56 am
Thank you for the ideas i will be sure to go back and revise it! :):)
 
Navi-Talmid-Shel-Seraphim said...
Dec. 31, 2010 at 10:20 pm
Very good for a story. I liked how the parents chose the color of the house. lol :D That I found funny.
 
Mgymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 2, 2011 at 2:57 am
haha! thanks! it's based off of a true story with my mom and the color of our house! :):)
 
Navi-Talmid-Shel-Seraphim replied...
Jan. 2, 2011 at 12:10 pm
Oh. Very interesting then. Remember when I needed help for creating a poem for my female friend that I like (her and I are just taking one step at a time, that's why I'm not saying girlfriend), I created two poems about/for her is now pending. Just to say, I'm very excited on how she is going to react. :)
 
Mgymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 6, 2011 at 11:43 pm
That's really cool! I hope she likes them!
 
Kbuschan said...
Dec. 31, 2010 at 8:45 pm
good story, it sounds similar to "to kill a mocking bird" and i like how you changed the subject from the color of your house to your neighbor being a criminal or something:) 
 
Mgymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 2, 2011 at 2:59 am
really? because i wrote it in the similar style of the book The House on Mango Street! :):)
 
Kbuschan replied...
Jan. 2, 2011 at 8:10 am
oh yeh i see tht too
 
OliviaOriginal said...
Dec. 31, 2010 at 5:56 pm

i Really Like This.

Its Really Discriptive , & I Can Picture The Whole Scene In My Head. Well Done (: Also, I Really Think You Should Expand This TYo A Book ; It Has The Potential.

 
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