I sit in silence as I look out the window and watch the rain drops drip down the glass; the light that flickers above my head. The bald headed news guy from channel six news reporting that the biggest storm in California history… is approaching. The sky turned pure black in the distance, wind whistling at its highest; I just sit there in silence. My parents scramble around the house collection food and water, blankets and pillows; I just sit there in silence. I think “why should I care about this storm”. My parents have been fighting for weeks now and they’ll probably end up getting a divorce. Worst of it all, my father is hitting my mother and I. the things that in life that I have to encounter, the words, the actions, and most of all the people. To me this storm is not a tragedy, it is more like…and ending. I watch as the storm approaches, dark clouds getting closer and closer, surrounding everything. The death of life coming nearer and nearer. I do not pity the world; I do not grovel on my knees pleading to God to spare my life. Life is a challenge. A challenge of survival. A fight between good and evil. More than pleading for my life to live on, I sit in silence. Waiting for death to arrive. People say death is a painful thing but I think it will be peaceful. The worries, the struggles, the pains; they all will vanish, they all will disappear. Truth is death…is something indescribable, but is something people fear and something people approach with confidence. This world deserves a chance but those chances run out. People like my father, people that kill, people that kill this earth should fear death. I love living on this earth but it is something I do not wish upon anyone. To me living on this earth is a curse but I know deep down that it is a challenge. A challenge that I fear I might have failed. So I sit here and wait for death to approach. I want my worries, my struggles and my pains to vanish, to disappear. I do not grovel on my knees for my soul to move on; I do not pity the world. I accept and do not deny the things that I may have done, I am not perfect…nobody is. Dreams, wishes, hopes that is all a lie, a joke for others amusement. A black hole sitting on your door step waiting for you to let him in. Once you do it will suck up everything you hold so dearly, so close to your heart. Life it’s such a tragic thing. It cheats, it lies, and it hurts. Life is hard; it is a struggle to survive each day. The pains and sufferings that we encounter each day will stay with us forever; they will scar us for life. I look out the window at the dark clouds, the lighting that strikes the ground. What if I was rich and famous, maybe that would change everything, maybe that would change my mind. As I sit down on the couch and the news switches to a story of Lindsay Lohan’s arrest due to drugs; I realize that actors and actresses are not so different than us. They may have a lot of money but their people just like us. People that do damage, people that do bad, people that make mistakes. So they star in a hit movie but their just like us, their people. they drive cars and go crockery shopping. They cry when they send their kids to their first day of school. They protect them with every ounce of love they have. They are just people, people like us. People that get hurt and put down like everyone else. Those that put down, those that hurt peoples feeling, why are you even talking. Your life is not perfect and either is anyone else’s. You don’t need to put down people to try and make it seem like your life is less a mess. Well I am going to tell you something, everyone’s life’s has its ups and downs; life is a s*** hole. Just because it’s a mess, try and make the best of it. Try and succeed even when things get tough, just remember nobody is perfect. My time is running short; the house has begun to shake. Life is a mess it’s filled with dread, pain and confusion. Some of us try to succeed but some have trouble and some just fail. I take a deep breath as I approach the door. Grabbing the handle and opening it wide, as I take my final step towards death.
The Black Storm Hits
September 24, 2010