T'mare

August 22, 2010
By Bigbirdocho SILVER, Kent, Connecticut
Bigbirdocho SILVER, Kent, Connecticut
9 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
yea


I'm in a trance,
You're only a vision to me.
Your soul fusing with mine,
Negativity, positiveness, happy, sadness run through my mind 24/7.
My body can't slow down; demons will resurface; they will get to me once again,
Take me over and tear my flesh by each muscle strain in my body.
Nothing will ever be the same,
Demons eat my flesh, drink my blood like it is the last dinner, but Jesus ain't guiding them.
Woken up from my own screams, screaming for someone to end my suffering;
Bruises, scratches are just a few of the thing you have left on my body...


The author's comments:
I like how it all came together at the end. When i write it's like i don't know how to end the piece until the final second

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This article has 32 comments.


on Nov. 29 2010 at 11:03 am
MysteryHeart GOLD, Thorold, Other
14 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
Usted es especial! AKWARD!!! (in an opera like voice), ohhh fasha', what the huh?,who in the name of what?, sanity now!

i agree most definatly

Mickey_D GOLD said...
on Nov. 29 2010 at 12:21 am
Mickey_D GOLD, Santa Cruz, California
11 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you don't believe in that subconscious self as a writer, then you shouldn't be doing it. ~Ray Bradbury

This would be more appropriate in poetry. Just saying. Excuse me for being... I don't get why I'm the only person saying this, is there someone else out there who appreciates organization for functionality?

 

And as a poetry piece, I liked it... Good job. As free-verse storytelling poetry (which does not make it a "fiction" or story piece) I cannot give advice/approval/disapproval because free-verse is all about expression without rules.

 

But I liked it anyways :P

I know I'm contradicting myself, here


on Oct. 16 2010 at 11:52 am
Bigbirdocho SILVER, Kent, Connecticut
9 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
yea

well thank you :) means alot

on Oct. 16 2010 at 11:52 am
Bigbirdocho SILVER, Kent, Connecticut
9 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
yea

thank you very much

on Oct. 16 2010 at 11:52 am
Bigbirdocho SILVER, Kent, Connecticut
9 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
yea

the point of this story was to lead u into it without knowing anything then later on you find out this girl was abused

on Oct. 16 2010 at 10:02 am
pookah22 BRONZE, Rockford, Michigan
2 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

Great writing! The emotion is really felt by the reader.

Alice_C SILVER said...
on Oct. 16 2010 at 12:30 am
Alice_C SILVER, Edgewood, Iowa
8 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
We all have dark secrets, just no one knows them.- Me
"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be."-unknown

it is very good great job but what's it about

on Oct. 16 2010 at 12:12 am
AussiMusicLover BRONZE, Central Coast, Other
4 articles 1 photo 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
When you are in Love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams
The hottest love has the coldest end.
Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop
Falling in love is awfully simple, but falling out of love is simply awful.

That heaps good! i like it! Keep writting! it was very short and sweet!

on Oct. 8 2010 at 10:33 pm
liveloud BRONZE, Cresskill, New Jersey
1 article 2 photos 14 comments
This is sooo cool, i luv it. 

on Sep. 24 2010 at 9:07 pm
Bigbirdocho SILVER, Kent, Connecticut
9 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
yea

well thank you

Elisabeth GOLD said...
on Sep. 24 2010 at 9:01 pm
Elisabeth GOLD, Nottingham, New Hampshire
10 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A true friend is hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget."

Nice story... very goth feeling, very scary for the person in the story.

on Sep. 24 2010 at 6:15 am
BrainsANDBeauty PLATINUM, Donnellson, Iowa
29 articles 3 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
I knew that guy when he was a caterpillar, you know, before he 'came out'

This is wonderful.  Great imagery!


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