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He pulls me upstairs to his room. “My sisters home so we have to keep quiet.”
“I don’t care if I get in trouble.” I tell him. “I’ve already lost the most important thing in the world.”
He sighs. “I still intend to have us meet. Some time. I’m taking the block of my phone that my mom set. We will still be together. Just…not as much.”
“I guess this means we can’t keep on doing the band.”
“I guess not.”
No more band, I can still see Dylan but it won’t be the same. We’ll have to whisper in his room when his parents aren’t home only. Hide out together. Our love can never be. Ha, guess this is like Romeo and Juliet in a way.
“Don’t stop playing Julia.”
“Don’t stop playing and writing music; it’s beautiful.”
“So is yours.”
He looks up at the ceiling. “I never thought I would meet anyone like you. Someone I could go to hell and back with and never resent them at all.”
“Do you regret running away?”
He rubs his hands together, another one of his adorable nervous habits. “No. I regret getting caught.”
I rub his leg. “I don’t regret it either.” I start feeling the big puffy tears filling up in my eyes and I blush in embarrassment. He sees and smiles. He takes his thumb and wipes it from my eyes…tells me it’s going to be okay…tells me he loves me and it will all work out.
“There’s a place for us somewhere Julia. We have to look for it. We’ll find it someday.”
It’s no use. The tears still fall and he gestures for me to get onto his bed. I lie down next to him and he traces hearts into my back, slowly so it doesn’t hurt.
“One day when we’re older. One day when our parents can’t tell us what to do. We’ll have a nice house and live together. We can tell stories in the dark and fly in parks all night. We can name all the stars and dream about something that could be better. If something could even be better. When we’re ready we’ll have kids…”
“Let’s name the first one Ponyboy.”
“You want my son to get beat up?” He asks me.
“We’ll grow old together, just you and me, that old couple who goes to the gym and holds everyone up on the track…”
“You’ll still be so sexy.”
“When did you get into old men?”
“When we die we can get buried together. I don’t know what happens after this, but I’m sure whatever it is it will be amazing. We will be together forever. It will all work out. All we have to do is wait.”
I wait for his lips to reach mine and my stomach churns when he slips off my shirt. He rubs his hands over my back and continue to trace hearts, hearts that show how we are forever. Show that nothing can break
The clock says three in the morning when I jolt myself awake. It feels cold in the room and I realize Dylan’s stolen my blanket.
“Dylan, I have to go.” I whisper and he mumbles “Don’t leave. Stay a little longer.” Knowing that my mom won’t care I give myself a little more blanket. I feel Dylan’s fingers run down my spine, fingertips running over me like water droplets. He smells like peppermint and guy cologne, a smell that now calms me down. When I know he is here I am happy. I feel his now-black hair falling over my head and tickling my cheeks.
“I’ve never been so happy.” He whispers in my ear. He is breathless so I know he means it. He continues, whispering things that could make the Grinch cry in joy. Listing the things he loves about me, everything from the way my voice makes his stomach turn to how my fingers seem to fit in his hand like they were molded together. I turn and face him on the bed and I kiss him in a way that could only bring smiles. I trace the “love” that I wrote on his stomach, his bare flesh feels cool under the blanket.
“I think I know what will happen to me when I die.” Dylan tells me.
“Think I’ll live with the stars. Not as a punishment, but to stare down at the good things. When it gets tiring I’ll be free to leave, but I’m able to still watch over people.”
“Make sure you watch out for me.”
“No problem. I’m the eyes that stare you on forever.”
“I’ve felt alone for so long.” I tell him and I feel the embarrassing tears rush down and he strokes his thumb in my hand. “As long as I have you I will never have to feel it again.”
His soft lips join me again. His arm raps around my spine to join our love together.
“The only reason you are down here,” He whispers in my ear, “instead of with the other angels is because your wings most of broke. I don’t know why else you would be.”
“I can fix my wing.”
“You can’t. Then you would have to leave me.”