Don't Kill Me Now | Teen Ink

Don't Kill Me Now

July 9, 2010
By Babylufin GOLD, Liberal, Missouri
Babylufin GOLD, Liberal, Missouri
13 articles 2 photos 229 comments

Favorite Quote:
"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11. Thank you Lord, for this future you've given me.


I could see him, but no one else could. I could tell that they couldn’t, because if they had, they wouldn’t still be laughing, drinking, and acting as if there wasn’t a care in te world. I was the only one that could see him. I stopped laughing, put my drink on the counter, and stared at him; the blonde boy with bright green eyes.

He was standing there, looking at me, in mangled clothes, barefoot. His shirt was ripped from the armpit all the way down, on the left side. There were numerous holes in it. His cargo shorts looked like they had been through a shredder, but were still somewhat wearable. There was nothing on his feet, but it looked like he’d just witnessed a messy murder and got blood all over his legs and feet. Although, when I looked behind him, from the direction he must have come, there was no blood on the off-white carpet.

We just stared at one another, each knowing that only I could see him. At first he seemed a little reluctant on communicating any further. But then I saw the corners of his mouth turn up, almost in a smile.

He didn’t speak.

Could he speak?

Obviously, he was a ghost of some sort…could he be heard, though? And how was it that I could see him?

In the midst of my frantic thoughts on this beautiful, but frightening creature, he nodded his head towards the door: apparently indicating for me to follow him.

“Umm, hey, you guys, I don’t think I should drive home. I’m going to go call my sister to come get me,” I said to my friends, or rather the people who considered themselves my friends, but really they were only the people I drank with.

Sasha, the flamboyant redhead, yelled (although there was no need, she was two seats away from me at the round table we were sitting at), to me “Hey, Claire! Don’t go yet! The party has just begun!” If the party just begun, they were in for a long night, and a painful morning. She laughed a trilling laugh. She was so loud, even when she wasn’t drunk.

The rest of the group joined in, laughing, screeching, and yelling “Don’t go Claire! Don’t go Claire! The party’s just begun, Claire!”

At the rate these guys were babbling on, and the fact that I was with them the whole time, you would probably think to yourself, She probably didn’t even see that guy; she’s just as drunk as the others. That wasn’t the case, though. For some reason, today didn’t feel right. I only had a couple of drinks, I was too deep in thought the whole night to let loose with those imbeciles.

I left them howling, to follow the beautiful blonde boy out the door, and found him waiting for me at the corner of the road, sitting on the curb. Apparently he knew he was dead; no sane person that was alive would sit on the curb of the road in this part of town, on this specific road, especially.

“I’m not going to sit there,” I said as I approached him. I didn’t know if he could hear me, but he must, because he is the one that wanted me out here. But had he done this before? Did he even know if he would be able to hear me? Or I, him? I didn’t know.

He looked up, and I knew he could hear me.

“Yeah, I know,” he said, his voice stunning. Not only because I didn’t think I’d be able to hear him, but because it was so sweet, so smooth, so soft, like a piece of caramel in my mouth. Or like melancholy lyrics playing through my headphones into my ears, making me smile at lost memories. “What took you so long?” He got to his feet, and came near me.

“Umm, maybe drunken friends that are insistent I get as drunk as them?”

“Why do you do that, Claire? Don’t you know it’s bad for you? You’re only sixteen. You have your whole life ahead of you.” First, how did he know my name? Second, how did he know my age? The third question, though, was a little more obvious (how did he know I drank), considering the first time he saw me, I had a beer in my hand. But, really, one beer here and there won’t do much harm. He couldn’t have known that it wasn’t only one beer here and there, for me. Besides, he didn’t look like he could be much older than me; 18, maybe 19. He had to have had a few drinks here and there, himself.

“How do you know my name?” I asked him. “Or my age? How do you know anything about me?”

“I’m not quite sure, I haven’t been this way very long so I haven’t figured much out yet, but somehow, I just know. I also know that you’ve been an alcoholic since you were 12. You really should stop that Claire. Live your life while you can,” he said.

I sat down in the grass beside the sidewalk, and looked around to see if anyone was out here, watching me talk to thin air.

“I am living. Anyways, where did you come from? What happened to your clothes? Why am I the only one that can see you?”

He looked upset that the subject had changed.

“I came from over there,” he pointed down the road, where two cars sat, smashed together at the intersection of two roads. There were two police cars, a fire truck, and two ambulance trucks.

How I didn’t see the lights before he pointed it out, I didn’t know either. It seemed I didn’t know a lot of things at this point.

He continued, “Obviously, I was in a car wreck. You would think, since I’m a ghost or whatever you want to call it, I wouldn’t wearing the same clothes I died in, but a long white gown like everyone says. Sadly, though, I’m not in a long white dress, but in torn up clothes that I died in; bummer. That will be a pleasant memory to keep forever.” He smiled. “And for the last question, it probably has something to do with when you were a baby. Since you died when you were a baby, you’ve probably carried that gift with you, the ability to see…dead people.” He laughed at his lame joke. But I had no idea what he was talking about. I didn’t die when I was a baby…and I’d never seen ‘dead people’ before either. “Oh. You didn’t know, did you?”

He must have been able to read it on my face.

“No. It’s not true. I didn’t die when I was a baby, obviously. I’m here, like, I’m actually here, people can see me.”

“They were able to revive you. They won’t be able to revive me. Trust me, I saw what I looked like.” He laughed again.

Okay, this might just be me, but if I had just died, and I knew I was dead, I wouldn’t be making jokes quite yet, and I definitely wouldn’t be that calm.

“Alright, well, let’s say that makes sense. Still, I’ve never seen people like you before. Why now?”

“Yes, you have. You just didn’t pay any attention before. The pull wasn’t as hard to them, because you didn’t have much in common.” He flashed a bright, heart-stopping smile at me.

“And what have you and I got in common? What makes your pull stronger?”

“Well, to begin with, we both have, or in my case had, poor excuses as parents. And also, I’ve been an alcoholic for 6 years, since I was 12.”

See, I told you he had to have had a few drinks, a little more than a few though, it sounds like. But what right did he have, telling me how to live my life, when he was the same way?

“Don’t talk about my parents; you don’t know them. And I find it amazing that you were just telling me how to live my life when it came to drinking, and as it turns out, you did it too! Typical, people trying to tell me what to do, that have no room to talk. Look at you! You’re dead, if you haven’t noticed!” I screamed at him, with a sudden hatred for putting his nose where it didn’t belong; in my life.

After I said it though, and saw the hurt expression on his face, I automatically wished to take it back.

He finally spoke, after a long, awkward silence.

“I know that I’m dead, and you will be too, if you keep it up. Trust me. Can you really see me? Because this is what you’ll look like, if not worse. I’m dead, because of me. Because I didn’t handle my problems how I should have, I got drunk, jumped in a car, and ran a stop sign, right into another car.

“There were always people asking me, checking on me, to see if I was okay, and instead of talking to one of them, I downed another bottle of beer. My father was always the one that gave it to me, too.” He laughed with no humor what-so-ever.

I heard someone stumble out the door of the house, and fall down. I didn’t even look up to see who it was, or if they were okay. I kept looking at the ghost I was having a conversation with, and whose name I didn’t even know. I thought about what my life had become, and what it was becoming. To me, every night was a constant party. The party never stopped. But within me…I knew it was just a getaway. My parents divorced when I was 6. They constantly fought, physically, verbally, and emotionally. I was always the witness, me and my older sister by 1 year and 4 months, Andrea.

We went through custody battle, after custody battle, but the results were always the same; my mother, the drunk, and physically abusive, but nobody noticed, always got primary custody, while my father, the pot head, and dead beat, only got visitation once every month.

I had to live with the psychotic mother every day of my life. When she hit me, I took it without a sound. When she was drunk, I stole a few and ran to my room. My sister always stayed in her room for the most part. She never even tried one of our mom’s beers that I knew of. She got hit just as much as I did, and she ignored it as much too, if not better.

My father didn’t have a job, he was on Welfare from the day he turned eighteen. He smoked cocaine on a regular basis, and was verbally abusive when he was high, but I would have rather lived with him any day of my life; that just shows how much System really cares.

My mother was still an alcoholic, but I think since Andrea started playing sports, and I was never home, she grew tired and scared of the two of us; hasn’t laid a hand on either of us since Andrea was a freshman in high school.

My dad though, he died from an overdose when I was 12. Although he was never really a dad to me, that affected me in a terrible, huge way. I began heavy drinking, to get rid of the pain I felt from my parents, the hatred I felt from my schoolmates, the abandonment I felt from my sister, and the disappointment I felt in myself.

I snapped back to life when I heard the person on the porch puking up their guts.

“I’ll be right back,” I whispered to Ghost Boy.

I got up and ran over to the porch, to check on the girl that sat there, hair in her face, puke on her mouth, and mumbling something like “I got to stop doing that”.

I didn’t recognize the girl, but I asked her if she was okay. She nodded slightly, so I asked her if there was anyone I could call to give her a ride home. She shook her head, and mumbled something I could barely make out to be “on her way”. So, I told her if she needed me, I’d be over at the stop sign, and I went back to where Ghost Boy was sitting, looking down the street at where his body lay on the ground in a body bad.

I saw beside him.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“Eric.”

Eric, I thought.

“What were you think about, before you left?” He asked me.

“Why I am the way I am.”

“You’re not the way you are. You’re completely different. You just haven’t found that yet.” He still wasn’t looking at me, but I looked at him. When I didn’t reply, he looked away from the wreck, to finally gaze into my eyes.

When he did that, I felt something strong pull me towards him, like the whole universe shifted. I didn’t notice before how shockingly beautiful he really was. I wasn’t one of those things you can explain to someone. His skin was fair and even, his face hard, but kind. He reminded me of a rose. Beautiful, a meaning of love, but still protected when it came to being hurt. His eyes were a green that can’t be explained. There isn’t a name for this color of green. He had full eyelashes, a shade darker than his beautiful blonde hair.

I reached my hand out to touch his and wasn’t completely stunned when I could feel it under my hand. It looked like he was though, like someone had just shocked him with a taser.

He reached his other hand up to cup my face.

“You’re beautiful, Claire,” he said. I didn’t understand what he was talking about. I’d never been called beautiful before. I was average sized, but when it came to looks, it wasn’t me you were looking for. Long, curly black hair, that never stayed tamed. Big, brown eyes that looked stoned all the time. My upper lip was half the size of my lower. What he said didn’t make sense to me. “Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise, even yourself.”

He leaned in to me, to gently kiss me on the lips.

The sensation I felt when he did that, is nothing I can describe; unbelievable, indescribable, pure joy. It felt like his lips were formed to match mine, like a puzzle; they were made specifically for me.

When he relinquished me, we both looked towards the wreck again. I felt his hand slide out from under mine, and when I looked to see where it went, he was walking away from me, towards his body. He made the two-block walk in only a few seconds. I saw him lie down beside himself, and scoot himself over, into his body.

I ran as fast as I could, over to where he lay, and stared at his beaten up face. He had black and blue bruises covering his entire face. His neck was a deep purple.

When I looked at his unmoving chest, I felt my own chest tighten, and my heart sank.

A cop came over to me, with a worried look on his face, wishing I hadn’t seen what I had.

“Can I help you with something, Hun?” he asked, like he cared as much for me as he would his own daughter. I looked back down at Eric. I started with his eyes, down to his obviously broken nose, to his purple, frozen lips. Then down to his broken neck. When I got to his chest again, I blinked.

It was moving.

He was breathing.

“HE’S BREATHING!” I shouted, I screeched, I screamed, a blood-curdling, death scream, frightened to no end. “HE’S BREATHING!” I pushed the cop forwards, toward Eric, frantic. “Save him! Save him! Please,” I cried, quieter, helpless. “Please, save him. I need you to save him.

“I love him.”


The author's comments:
Love inspires me everyday. It comes in all shapes and sizes, and brings more emotions than just itself.

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This article has 100 comments.


on Aug. 30 2010 at 5:12 pm
MyConstRuctd_IdentiTy SILVER, Chardon, Ohio
7 articles 56 photos 356 comments

Favorite Quote:
"One heartbeat."

"Our scars remind us of where we've been; they don't dictate where we're going."
-SSA David Rossi, Criminal Minds

Just read it last night before I went to bed. Was dreaming about it all night. :)I LOVED IT!!!!! :) XJ

Babylufin GOLD said...
on Aug. 30 2010 at 5:03 pm
Babylufin GOLD, Liberal, Missouri
13 articles 2 photos 229 comments

Favorite Quote:
"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11. Thank you Lord, for this future you've given me.

Part Two is up! Please check it out! :D

Babylufin GOLD said...
on Aug. 30 2010 at 5:02 pm
Babylufin GOLD, Liberal, Missouri
13 articles 2 photos 229 comments

Favorite Quote:
"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11. Thank you Lord, for this future you've given me.

Thank you so much! :) I'm gonna go read yours! :)

on Aug. 29 2010 at 8:00 pm
__horizon133 PLATINUM, Portage, Michigan
26 articles 0 photos 231 comments

Favorite Quote:
"laugh, and the world laughs with you. laugh hysterically, and for no apparent reason, and they will leave you alone." anonymous

that was reall, really good! great ending, and also the lesson about underage drinking was cool. i wrote a peice called "The Happy Place" that's along simaler lines, but yours gets the message acros better. keep writting!

Babylufin GOLD said...
on Aug. 26 2010 at 4:57 pm
Babylufin GOLD, Liberal, Missouri
13 articles 2 photos 229 comments

Favorite Quote:
"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11. Thank you Lord, for this future you've given me.

Oh. Lol. I guess I just think everything like that is written by Nicholas Sparks... lol.

Well, I'll take that as a compliment, and say thank you VERY much. :)


Babylufin GOLD said...
on Aug. 20 2010 at 5:54 pm
Babylufin GOLD, Liberal, Missouri
13 articles 2 photos 229 comments

Favorite Quote:
"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11. Thank you Lord, for this future you've given me.

Aww, thank you so much! This really is my dream, and it makes me feel so good when people comment my work! I really appreciate it so much, thank you!

CSHCSH GOLD said...
on Aug. 20 2010 at 11:23 am
CSHCSH GOLD, Jakarta, Other
16 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everybody tries to change the world, but nobody tries to change themselves
-Leo Tolstoy

it's a besutiful storym and i LOVED it! talk about bding a great writer!i hoped you really enjoyed my work too, cause you commented on it. i know im not good enough yet- and im not just being modest. but i hope i can learn from people like you^^

Babylufin GOLD said...
on Aug. 19 2010 at 4:51 pm
Babylufin GOLD, Liberal, Missouri
13 articles 2 photos 229 comments

Favorite Quote:
"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11. Thank you Lord, for this future you've given me.

Haha, that actually makes sense though.

on Aug. 18 2010 at 7:34 pm
Robsessed PLATINUM, McKinney, Texas
23 articles 1 photo 199 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I may be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

"Did you know 'I told you so' has a brother, Jacob?" she asked cutting me off. "His name is 'Shut the hell up.'" - Bella Swan, Breaking Dawn

I cry at everything, especially if there's death involved ... The Notebook, A Walk to Remember, Keith, P.S. I Love You, The Time Traveler's Wife, Titanic, Troy, etc. And being the freak that I am, I actually like movies/books better when they make me cry...

Babylufin GOLD said...
on Aug. 18 2010 at 7:23 pm
Babylufin GOLD, Liberal, Missouri
13 articles 2 photos 229 comments

Favorite Quote:
"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11. Thank you Lord, for this future you've given me.

I don't either; that's why I wrote this.

And I know what you mean about feeling like you were talking to the gorgeous ghost...haha. I'm so happy you liked it, I'm sorry it almost made you cry, and I hope you felt the same emotions I did as I wrote it! :) Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it!


on Aug. 18 2010 at 6:18 pm
Robsessed PLATINUM, McKinney, Texas
23 articles 1 photo 199 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I may be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

"Did you know 'I told you so' has a brother, Jacob?" she asked cutting me off. "His name is 'Shut the hell up.'" - Bella Swan, Breaking Dawn

I liked this story, especially the ending. I had tears in my eyes thinking he was going to cross over though. You're characters have such strong voices and really pull you into the story. I mean I felt like I was the one talking to the gorgeous ghost. 

The whole thing about being alcoholics since age 12 was a bit much for me though, but that's just because I don't agree with underage drinking at all.


on Aug. 18 2010 at 6:10 pm
Robsessed PLATINUM, McKinney, Texas
23 articles 1 photo 199 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I may be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

"Did you know 'I told you so' has a brother, Jacob?" she asked cutting me off. "His name is 'Shut the hell up.'" - Bella Swan, Breaking Dawn

Nicholas Sparks didn't write The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud. The author of the book, which now has a movie-tie-in edition just called Charlie St. Cloud, is Ben Sherwood. But yeah, I agree that your story is similar in essence to Charlie St. Cloud.

Babylufin GOLD said...
on Aug. 16 2010 at 5:20 pm
Babylufin GOLD, Liberal, Missouri
13 articles 2 photos 229 comments

Favorite Quote:
"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11. Thank you Lord, for this future you've given me.

I will! :) I'm so glad you liked it! :D

on Aug. 15 2010 at 6:33 pm
kfelt158 SILVER, New Era, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A dream will only be a dream until you work hard to make it a reality."

Oh my gosh, this is such a good story!! I LOVED it!!  Babylufin, you and i have a lot in common when it comes to the genre of a story; please check out my stories, especially Faithful Blessings.  It would mean so much!

Babylufin GOLD said...
on Aug. 15 2010 at 5:13 pm
Babylufin GOLD, Liberal, Missouri
13 articles 2 photos 229 comments

Favorite Quote:
"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11. Thank you Lord, for this future you've given me.

Thank you! :D It means so much!

on Aug. 15 2010 at 5:01 pm
Simply_Me BRONZE, Nunda, New York
1 article 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I didn't lose my brain...I just sold it on E-bay."

oh, wow, this is such a good story! i like the way it ends; theres a little peice of hope for bth Eric and Claire. your writing is beautiful but simple at the same time; very good!!

Babylufin GOLD said...
on Aug. 13 2010 at 9:57 pm
Babylufin GOLD, Liberal, Missouri
13 articles 2 photos 229 comments

Favorite Quote:
"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11. Thank you Lord, for this future you've given me.

Well, I'm glad you liked it! :D

on Aug. 13 2010 at 1:05 am
Niftygrrl BRONZE, Norfolk, Virginia
4 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
“We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”- dr suess

"Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself."
— John Green

Im in love with this! I was glued to the screen! =]

Babylufin GOLD said...
on Aug. 12 2010 at 10:26 am
Babylufin GOLD, Liberal, Missouri
13 articles 2 photos 229 comments

Favorite Quote:
"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11. Thank you Lord, for this future you've given me.

Actually, no I haven't seen or read it..lol.

My writing is superior to Nicholas Sparks (that is the author, correct?) That's very hard to believe. Lol!

And I think you are quite correct about the "Don't drink and drive!" thing. I noticed that as well...haha. Like I said previously, no more first drafts will be posted...

I'm glad you love him. I do too. ;)

A little Fun Fact here: I got his name from Eric off of That '70's Show...haha. I love that guy too.


on Aug. 11 2010 at 8:50 pm
sleeplessdreamer PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
30 articles 0 photos 332 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have always wanted to write in such a way that people say, 'I have always thought that but never found the words for it.'" -anonymous

Ok, I really did like this. But have you seen Charlie St. Cloud or read the book? I don't know if you have, but in some strange way this story reminds me of that. But your writing is far superior to the author of that book. 

I really love your writing style. It's very simple and sophisticated. It's beautiful. And I liked your story. The only the i have a problem with is that the whole explanation Eric went through was a little bit preachy.  A little too "Don't drink and drive!" While I totally agree with that, I don't think it adds anything to your story, but takes away. 

I'm in love with your ghost by the way. I want to see dead people like that. ;)