Semantics

June 28, 2010
By lusis BRONZE, San Jose, California
lusis BRONZE, San Jose, California
3 articles 0 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is the novelist's innate cowardice that makes him depute to imaginary personalities the sins that he is too cautious to commit for himself." Anthony Burgess


The macaroni was too cheesy, she thought. She pushed a piece across her plate, half watching the thin ooze that followed her fork, half listening to the tinny music that flowed out of the speakers which studded the ceiling of the restaurant.

It was the type of music that made her want to sigh, to turn her head and look out the window at the cars stopped at the traffic light, to look at all those people encased in their own metal containers and wonder at the meaning of life. It was restaurant music, background music, the type she’d tune out with friends, but suddenly had more significance when she was alone.

But it wasn’t the type of music she would have in her beat up CD player, no. In private, she listened to passionate vocals, intricate guitar riffs, and convoluted drum patterns that overwhelmed. No, this was the type of music appropriate to the public. Unlike most pop music though, this song was something she approved of. It was approachable, but not. It wasn’t tangible enough that she could relate to it, but vague enough so that everyone could.

Maybe it was the way the singer crooned the lyrics, softly, holding each word in like a caress, and then releasing it so deliberately. Maybe it was because everything was so much more vivid when experienced alone.

It was just right, she thought. She forked a piece of macaroni into her mouth, half of her trying to decipher the tacit promises spoken in the music, the other half being pulled along by the ebb and flow of music until no coherent thought was feasible.

It was the type of music that had just the right touch of vagueness to keep her guessing, keep her wondering at the life it hinted at as she turned her head and sighed at the cars that have just started moving outside her window.



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This article has 19 comments.


on Jul. 25 2010 at 8:22 pm
CloudWanderer BRONZE, Wheelersburg, Ohio
2 articles 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We don't stop playing because we get old, we get old because we stop playing."

"Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of your true love. If you must steal, steal from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. If you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away."

Great strategy  :)

lusis BRONZE said...
on Jul. 24 2010 at 2:42 pm
lusis BRONZE, San Jose, California
3 articles 0 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is the novelist's innate cowardice that makes him depute to imaginary personalities the sins that he is too cautious to commit for himself." Anthony Burgess

Ooh yes, I'm a fan of authors who can do that, write in nice twists at the end. Thanks!

lusis BRONZE said...
on Jul. 24 2010 at 2:40 pm
lusis BRONZE, San Jose, California
3 articles 0 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is the novelist's innate cowardice that makes him depute to imaginary personalities the sins that he is too cautious to commit for himself." Anthony Burgess

Thanks so much. I think I hope that there is always deeper meaning, but sometimes I'm afraid there isn't. So I try to establish that meaning myself. :3

iDogrocker said...
on Jul. 24 2010 at 2:40 pm
iDogrocker, Lebanon, Oregon
0 articles 0 photos 78 comments
This is a really cool article! Sometimes, just the little observations make the biggest stories. Especially when you start out with them and then blindside your readers with something really big. I enjoy reading your writing, and I'm eager to see more of it.

on Jul. 23 2010 at 4:57 pm
CloudWanderer BRONZE, Wheelersburg, Ohio
2 articles 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We don't stop playing because we get old, we get old because we stop playing."

"Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of your true love. If you must steal, steal from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. If you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away."

I have to agree with mudpuppy--it was deep and meaningful. And it did give me a sense of peace. Quite poetic. I've always liked to believe that there's more than just the surface. That everything is significant and means something. I think you captured that here.

lusis BRONZE said...
on Jul. 19 2010 at 10:14 pm
lusis BRONZE, San Jose, California
3 articles 0 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is the novelist's innate cowardice that makes him depute to imaginary personalities the sins that he is too cautious to commit for himself." Anthony Burgess

I'm glad you thought flow was okay. I'm always super OCD about that haha. Thanks!

lusis BRONZE said...
on Jul. 19 2010 at 10:13 pm
lusis BRONZE, San Jose, California
3 articles 0 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is the novelist's innate cowardice that makes him depute to imaginary personalities the sins that he is too cautious to commit for himself." Anthony Burgess

Oh that's a good point. I think that's my number one concern usually, that I go into too much unnecessary detail and never get to the point. Thanks for calling me out on that.

AidanR. said...
on Jul. 19 2010 at 9:14 pm
AidanR., Buffalo, New York
0 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Love the “metal containers” bit.  I think, however, that you go too deep into analyzing the music and it looses meaning.  For example, you say it’s not the type of music she would listen to.  Her music has “passionate vocals”.  Then you say “singer crooned the lyrics, softly, holding each word in like a caress, and then releasing it so deliberately.” That sounds pretty passionate.  The self-contradicting sentences following are actually quite good, I think.

The bit about the two halves of her mind could be made more clear if you definitively show that the second overpowers the first.

Finally, the last paragraph just doesn’t jive with me.  I don’t get it, I still think that’s overanalyzing to the point of no meaning.

Maybe I’m just frustrated that I’m not totally sure what you’re trying to say.  By the way, it sounds like she listens to Led Zeppelin.  Nice choice.  Now, on the plus side, this is generally well written, with phenomenal use of language.  I love the word tacit.  Nice job.


on Jul. 17 2010 at 8:43 pm
sleeplessdreamer PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
30 articles 0 photos 332 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have always wanted to write in such a way that people say, 'I have always thought that but never found the words for it.'" -anonymous

"encased in their metal containers"... LOVE IT!!! You write with a stunning, breathtaking flow. Really beautiful and simple. I really like this kind of "story". And you place it in print very well. If you could comment on a few more of my stories I would greatly appreciate it. And if you do, be honest on your opinion. I am very open to criticism. Great job!

lusis BRONZE said...
on Jul. 17 2010 at 7:34 pm
lusis BRONZE, San Jose, California
3 articles 0 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is the novelist's innate cowardice that makes him depute to imaginary personalities the sins that he is too cautious to commit for himself." Anthony Burgess

I'm glad you think so. Thanks C:

lusis BRONZE said...
on Jul. 17 2010 at 7:33 pm
lusis BRONZE, San Jose, California
3 articles 0 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is the novelist's innate cowardice that makes him depute to imaginary personalities the sins that he is too cautious to commit for himself." Anthony Burgess

MUCHAS GRACIAS! :DD

Thanks for reading~


lusis BRONZE said...
on Jul. 17 2010 at 7:33 pm
lusis BRONZE, San Jose, California
3 articles 0 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is the novelist's innate cowardice that makes him depute to imaginary personalities the sins that he is too cautious to commit for himself." Anthony Burgess

Thank you!

lusis BRONZE said...
on Jul. 17 2010 at 7:32 pm
lusis BRONZE, San Jose, California
3 articles 0 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is the novelist's innate cowardice that makes him depute to imaginary personalities the sins that he is too cautious to commit for himself." Anthony Burgess

Aww <3 Thanks so much for reading!

on Jul. 15 2010 at 9:39 pm
wild-free BRONZE, Billerica, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All good things are wild and free." - Henry David Thoreau

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." - Albus Dumbledore

Beautiful writing! It was such a simple piece, yet very powerful and full of meaning. I really enjoyed it, great job! :)

KK2013 GOLD said...
on Jul. 15 2010 at 9:38 pm
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling

ME GUSTA! very cool way to analyze restaurant music! You put a lot of words into a tiny amount of time. I like that. Well done.

on Jul. 15 2010 at 7:34 pm
Just.A.Dream SILVER, Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 431 comments

Favorite Quote:
Part of the J7X team. :)

I loved this, the way the main character thought about the song so deeply, was amazing. :)

on Jul. 15 2010 at 4:50 pm
abigail(: BRONZE, Kamuela, Hawaii
4 articles 15 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know whatcha gonna get"

This is really great (: you write beautifully

lusis BRONZE said...
on Jul. 15 2010 at 3:42 pm
lusis BRONZE, San Jose, California
3 articles 0 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is the novelist's innate cowardice that makes him depute to imaginary personalities the sins that he is too cautious to commit for himself." Anthony Burgess

Small things have big impacts, yes that is definitely what I had in mind! I'm glad you picked up on it.

Thanks for reading :)


on Jul. 15 2010 at 1:56 pm
mudpuppy BRONZE, Orangeburg, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 475 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is like a box of cheese and flower petal sometimes it's soft and sweet, sometimes it just plain stinks. - M.J.

Whoa. I can't find a word in my mind to label this as. It so, deep. You give the reader a sense of inner peace. I'm not sure if that's the theme you're going for, but it seems to be 'even the most smallest thing could have precious meaning or impact?' I like it so far. :)




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