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Semantics

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The macaroni was too cheesy, she thought. She pushed a piece across her plate, half watching the thin ooze that followed her fork, half listening to the tinny music that flowed out of the speakers which studded the ceiling of the restaurant.

It was the type of music that made her want to sigh, to turn her head and look out the window at the cars stopped at the traffic light, to look at all those people encased in their own metal containers and wonder at the meaning of life. It was restaurant music, background music, the type she’d tune out with friends, but suddenly had more significance when she was alone.

But it wasn’t the type of music she would have in her beat up CD player, no. In private, she listened to passionate vocals, intricate guitar riffs, and convoluted drum patterns that overwhelmed. No, this was the type of music appropriate to the public. Unlike most pop music though, this song was something she approved of. It was approachable, but not. It wasn’t tangible enough that she could relate to it, but vague enough so that everyone could.

Maybe it was the way the singer crooned the lyrics, softly, holding each word in like a caress, and then releasing it so deliberately. Maybe it was because everything was so much more vivid when experienced alone.

It was just right, she thought. She forked a piece of macaroni into her mouth, half of her trying to decipher the tacit promises spoken in the music, the other half being pulled along by the ebb and flow of music until no coherent thought was feasible.

It was the type of music that had just the right touch of vagueness to keep her guessing, keep her wondering at the life it hinted at as she turned her head and sighed at the cars that have just started moving outside her window.




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This article has 19 comments. Post your own!

iDogrocker said...
Jul. 24, 2010 at 2:40 pm:
This is a really cool article! Sometimes, just the little observations make the biggest stories. Especially when you start out with them and then blindside your readers with something really big. I enjoy reading your writing, and I'm eager to see more of it.
 
lusis replied...
Jul. 24, 2010 at 2:42 pm :
Ooh yes, I'm a fan of authors who can do that, write in nice twists at the end. Thanks!
 
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CloudWanderer said...
Jul. 23, 2010 at 4:57 pm:
I have to agree with mudpuppy--it was deep and meaningful. And it did give me a sense of peace. Quite poetic. I've always liked to believe that there's more than just the surface. That everything is significant and means something. I think you captured that here.
 
lusis replied...
Jul. 24, 2010 at 2:40 pm :
Thanks so much. I think I hope that there is always deeper meaning, but sometimes I'm afraid there isn't. So I try to establish that meaning myself. :3
 
CloudWanderer replied...
Jul. 25, 2010 at 8:22 pm :
Great strategy  :)
 
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lusis said...
Jul. 19, 2010 at 10:14 pm:
I'm glad you thought flow was okay. I'm always super OCD about that haha. Thanks!
 
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AidanR. said...
Jul. 19, 2010 at 9:14 pm:

Love the “metal containers” bit.  I think, however, that you go too deep into analyzing the music and it looses meaning.  For example, you say it’s not the type of music she would listen to.  Her music has “passionate vocals”.  Then you say “singer crooned the lyrics, softly, holding each word in like a caress, and then releasing it so deliberately.” That sounds pretty passionate.  The self-contradicting sentences following ar... (more »)

 
lusis replied...
Jul. 19, 2010 at 10:13 pm :
Oh that's a good point. I think that's my number one concern usually, that I go into too much unnecessary detail and never get to the point. Thanks for calling me out on that.
 
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sleeplessdreamer said...
Jul. 17, 2010 at 8:43 pm:
"encased in their metal containers"... LOVE IT!!! You write with a stunning, breathtaking flow. Really beautiful and simple. I really like this kind of "story". And you place it in print very well. If you could comment on a few more of my stories I would greatly appreciate it. And if you do, be honest on your opinion. I am very open to criticism. Great job!
 
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wild-free said...
Jul. 15, 2010 at 9:39 pm:
Beautiful writing! It was such a simple piece, yet very powerful and full of meaning. I really enjoyed it, great job! :)
 
lusis replied...
Jul. 17, 2010 at 7:34 pm :
I'm glad you think so. Thanks C:
 
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KK2013This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 15, 2010 at 9:38 pm:
ME GUSTA! very cool way to analyze restaurant music! You put a lot of words into a tiny amount of time. I like that. Well done.
 
lusis replied...
Jul. 17, 2010 at 7:33 pm :

MUCHAS GRACIAS! :DD

Thanks for reading~

 
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A_Dreamer said...
Jul. 15, 2010 at 7:34 pm:
I loved this, the way the main character thought about the song so deeply, was amazing. :)
 
lusis replied...
Jul. 17, 2010 at 7:33 pm :
Thank you!
 
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abigail(: This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 15, 2010 at 4:50 pm:
This is really great (: you write beautifully
 
lusis replied...
Jul. 17, 2010 at 7:32 pm :
Aww <3 Thanks so much for reading!
 
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mudpuppy said...
Jul. 15, 2010 at 1:56 pm:
Whoa. I can't find a word in my mind to label this as. It so, deep. You give the reader a sense of inner peace. I'm not sure if that's the theme you're going for, but it seems to be 'even the most smallest thing could have precious meaning or impact?' I like it so far. :)
 
lusis replied...
Jul. 15, 2010 at 3:42 pm :

Small things have big impacts, yes that is definitely what I had in mind! I'm glad you picked up on it.

Thanks for reading :)

 
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