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My life changing memories
Tuesday October 7th, 2009, 3:45 p.m.
My mom gave me this journal so I thought I would try it out. Let me tell you a little about myself. My name is Nichole, but everyone calls me Nikki. I am 16, in high school in California; obviously, everyone in my school has been here since pre-K. All the people that have moved here in between are outcasts. We’ve got our clique. No need for more. I have this huge crush on my best friend, Jackie’s, boyfriend. He’s the hottest guy in my school! Everyone would agree, but I can’t go near him because of Jackie, but whatever. Time to go for a run! Later!
Thursday October 9th, 2009, 11:57 p.m.
I just got done arguing with my mom about her stupid husband again. I hate him sooo much. He’s so dumb. He acts like a girl. He’s all over my mom all the time, even in front of me! Ugh, whenever she’s not around she goes from acting like a flower, all sweet and innocent, then when my mom leaves, he’s more like a semi, crushing everything in its path because it’s all big and mean. Ugh, I hate him. He’s so annoying. Oh, if your wondering my dad and my mom got in a huge fight and he walked out when I was four years old. I’m not sure where he is, what he’s doing, who he’s with, all I know is I have no respect for him what so ever. Ugh, well, it’s midnight and I gotta wake up @ 4:00 a.m. So buh bye!
Tuesday October 14th, 2009, 4:45 a.m.
Just got back from my morning run, to let some steam off. Mr. I-do-everything-right is at it again. He decides to try and control my life. He just got in to it and he wants to control me now? Nuh uh, not gunna work. Oh well, I still hate him, I gotta go to school now. Buh bye now!
Thursday October 23rd, 2009, 3:54 p.m.
There was this new kid in school today. You know how I mentioned no one joins our clique? I think I just left mine. I started talking to his guy, Jason, in science, unfortunately because that’s my worst subject. When I saw him walk though that door I melted like a Popsicle under the hot sun in July. Blonde hair, not too blonde, kinda brownish hair actually, freckles, a little, the cutest nose I have ever seen, when he looked @ me with his big blue eyes they were like the ocean with the sun setting right on the line of the horizon, Just gorgeous. He sits right next to me. He leaned over to ask for a pencil. When he leaned away after I gave him a pencil, he smelled as if he just walked out of Hollister. We passed notes the rest of the hour. We got to lunch and because we can leave to go home, so he took me to his house, no one was home which he said was good. We got some food and started talking and eating in his room. We talked for hours and hours and hours. Never went back to school. It was around 6:00 when his dad stormed up. I jumped in his closet; because I wasn’t suppose to be there. I looked through the cracks in the closet doors. His dad comes in, and pulls him off his bed by his arm, yells at him, in his face! He tries fighting back, he can’t his dad is too big. His dad hits him harder every time he fights. I know, because I was there he was fighting back; I could feel that he didn’t want to but he felt like he had to. To… “Be strong” I almost started crying. I was totally and completely disgusted with his dad. Disgusted. I just wanted to hit him with the bat I found in the closet. I almost did, but when I was coming out of the closet to do it Jason glared at me. The way he looked at me was how I knew he absolutely didn’t want me to do that. Every night now he comes to my window around 11:30 because then he knows my mom and her vampire are sleeping. He usually doesn’t leave until around 2:00 :) but I better get going before I get all girly on you again.
Friday October 31st, 2009 5:45 p.m.
My mom is going to this certain place that’s “important” but she won’t tell me where it is she goes everyday, same time, and is gone the same length. I don’t know. I hope she is seeing another guy. I hope she leaves the stupid semi, flowered down to a vampire, guy she has now. I hope she tells me soon. I like that she goes, in a way. Every time she leaves I go to Jason’s house, he takes me to a new fun places every night. I don’t know. I like him. But got to go because he will be here in 10 min. to pick me up in his Mustang! <3
Friday October 31st, 2009 12:00 a.m.
After dinner he took me back to his house. We had to climb up the roof through the window. I accidentally dropped something :( and his dad screams and starts coming so, we packed his things really fast and dashed out the window, hopped in his car, and drove. It was so scary. I didn’t want him to find me. I don’t care what happened to me as long as he just didn’t find me. After we got out of there we went to the beach and just talked forever. We ended up going to my house. He’s sleeping next to my bed as we speak. Well, I better get to bed too, gotta run in the morning. :)
Saturday November 1st, 2009, 3:25 p.m.
I never saw this coming. I thought she just had to do something for work or was seeing someone else to get rid of the “semi” everyday, but no. It had to be this. It had to be my mom. It had to be now. Why not me? I would rather have it be me. Why cancer? Not the flu or something easier or able to treat? No. Cancer, the worst possible disease, non-curable cancer. I hate my life. I hate my life. I HATE MY LIFE!!
Christmas Morning, 2009, 10:51 a.m.
My mom passed about two hours ago.
My step dad has been slamming shots ever sense then.
He’s drank four bottles of tequila already.
The only ones that cares are me and Jason.
I hate my life.
Friday February 14th, Valentines Day <3, 2010, 2:45 p.m.
I just got home; my “dad” is drunker than drunk. Every time he takes a sip, I hear his liver screaming for help. I walk in; he waddles and sways his way to the door. Yells at me trying to tell me that it was my fault my mom died. Jason’s pulling in now. The “semi” takes a swing at my face, telling me I’m a no good worthless piece of garbage. I dodged it and ran to my room. As I lock the door I hear him screaming a new nick name. Murderer. How am I the murderer? You know what? He’s probably just trying to get inside my head. I ignore him and pack pretty much everything I own, grab Jason’s stuff, go through the adjoining room door, into his room, grab all his money, jump out the window, and scream to Jason to not get out of the car. I hopped in and we just drove. We drove until we couldn’t anymore. We ended up being in New York. I’ve got $50,000 on me. I’m gone, I’m never coming back. I’m going to live my life, with Jason.
Tuesday, July 16th, 2015 11:27 a.m.
I am 22 now, living in a house on the corner of a little town in New York City, Happily married to Jason. I was packing my things into our new house. Just thought I‘d use up the last page in this journal. Well, I’m so glad I ran away when I did. I feel like it was a great decision but I will never forget the one thing that I left behind. My life. It was hard at first, but it’s good now. Anyway I’ve got no room and I have to finish un-packing. Bye now.
~ Nikki :)