Sick.

February 23, 2010
“Are you sure you’re ready?” she asked. The trees behind me waved in the breeze. The wall to our left blocked it making this a great place for a private conversation. Our hair was messed up by the wind that howled and groaned as it grew stronger like the heartbreak that I had already felt too many times. Her brown hair was filled with static. Mine suck up here and there and didn’t even look like I had brushed it.
“I don’t know.” I replied.
“Don’t think. Just answer.”I was surprised to hear her say this so I went totally blank. No more clever lines. No more sweet-talk. This was raw and I was totally blank. “You know what, no, I won’t.” And she turned and walked away. The word went through me like a nine inch nail. Why did she say no? What did I do wrong? Why?
“OK.”I mumbled and than walked away from there so I could go to AG. The air was crisp and cold from the snow that had fallen yesterday and was now starting to fall today. The grey clouds fit my mood. One word kept repeating in my head over and over. Her voice kept saying no over and over. A tear appeared under my eye. Why?
“Hey! Wait up!” I heard someone say behind me. I looked and it was one of my friends. His brown hair covered his eyes like a see through mask that gave very little room to see his eyes. He jogged up and asked what was wrong.
“Nothing man.”
“Sure, whatever you say”
We entered the AG barn and I heard the sparks almost emidiatly. The warm air rushed over me like a tsunami. It felt good. I took off my jacket and hung it on a rod that was beside the door. When I walked in I already knew what my job was. I walked over to my bench and picked up my sander and started sanding my bench like I always had to. No one talked to me and no body bothered me. I just focused on the work at hand. The electric sander vibrated in my hand and gave it that funny sensation you get when you hold a vibrating object for to long. I had to have the AG teacher walk up and tap me on the shoulder to get me to leave. After that I turned and started to walk home. I was sick of school.
When I got home I slouched on the couch and started eating a bag of chips. They tasted alright but could have been better. When my sister got home hours later she asked me how I got home. I lied and said I got a ride. I was sick of this world. I went to my room and opened my cabinet. A single bottle sat on the shelf and seemed to tease me to open them. I was sick of life.





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