A sigh of relief escapes my lips, as I slide the sharp razor over my wrist. The blood trickles down my arm as I pierce my venerable skin once again; a sense of empowerment fills my entity. I wipe off my arm; at least my despair is at rest, for the moment.

I would cut all day if I didn’t have school, if my mom would leave me alone. Right now nothing is going for me my dead-beat dad; well he has another family now. My mom and I are just his past. My step-father Rob is a joke, he makes mom go do useless errands while he tries to seduce me. He would have to do more than kill me for me to go anywhere near his bed. I tried to tell mom, but of course she had no time to talk with me. Her job is more important than me, and probably even Rob.

School sucks. My friends are immature and I’m always left out. My teachers hate me with a burning passion. And if it weren’t for my effort I would fail every class I have ever had. Let’s face it right now my life sucks.

I look at the razor as my best friend, it helps me feel better. Isn’t that what friends do?

A tear falls down my cheek as I breathe in and my friend heals my emotions once again.

I hear the sound of my mom pulling out of the driveway; of course she would have to work on a Saturday. I put the razor on the sink, I second guess my choice. It’s my bathroom Rob wouldn’t go in there, he never even enters my room. I decide to go out to the living room and see who’s awake.


I walk through the hall, it’s full of dust and there are clothes everywhere. My brother’s bedroom door is open and he isn’t there. Mom must have taken him to work with her; she wouldn’t leave him home with Rob without me watching him. I enter the living room and the smell of beer engulfs me, Rob is awake. I shut the door to go back to my room when Rob calls my name; I ignore it I’m not in the mood for his sick games.

I enter my room and throw myself onto my bed. I beg for sleep, but I just lie there. I give up and turn onto my back.

Suddenly there is a pounding on my door, “What?” I yell to the person who is most likely Rob on the other side of the door.

“Let me in,” he mumbles with a slur that told me he was drunk. That is just like Rob to be drunk before noon.

“Rob, go back in the living room.” I replied, I really didn’t want to deal with him. He opened the door an I knew something was wrong, no matter what he never invaded my privacy. Even when he was hammered and I turned him down he left me alone when I went in my room. “Rob what are you doing? Get out!” He stumbled over to my bed, I rushed off the bed and yelled “Get out!” He crossed over to near where I was. His dark blue eyes were foggy and the whites of his eyes had long ago turned yellow.

“Excuse me miss, but I am in charge here.” He said as he chuckle at his sly remark. I was frightened by his expression as he cornered my in my own room. He looked over my tensed figure scratched his unshaven chin. He looked deep into my deep brown eyes and I found a shred of humanity in his that was abruptly replaced by his vulgar lust. He clutched my wrist and threw me onto my feeble bed. He looked at me planning his next move, he traced his finger along the hem of my shirt, I was astonished he had never gone this far. I slapped his hand away and hastened to get away; he expected this and smacked my face. I struggle to get away from my attacker, as he placed his weight on me to secure my immobility. He pressed a pill on my lips and with all my might I tried to reject it. I failed as he put more weight on me, I opened my mouth to yell and he placed it into my mouth and smothered my lips with his clammy palm to reassure that I digested the pill.

He waited a second for my body to go limp and my vision to go blurry. I was like a prisoner in my own body, I begged my body to fight back, and I pleaded for sound to come from my lips. I watched as a third person as my step-father undressed me and marveled at my figure. He heaved his body over me and called me by the name of Jen. When he was finished he covered me with my quilt and left the room. I fell asleep against my own will to awaken confused, in a daze and scared for my vanity.

Alexis,


I know that you are cutting yourself, and I’m sure you mother doesn’t know. So let’s just keep this incident between us. We wouldn’t want you mother to find