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Would You Know Me?
Glazed. Her bloodshot eyes roamed the room, only hesitating when coming to rest on a familiar face. The hands that barely seemed connected to her body, were fidgeting nervously in her lap. She was reminiscent of an nervous toddler waiting for their punishment, as she sat, almost huddled in the chair. The eyes staring back at her felt like daggers in her bloody skin. Looking down at her torn up arms, she failingly pulled her sleeves down lower, but only to conceal part of her figurative scarlet letter.
“We are here because we care about you.” her father began, adding inaudible mumbles to the end.
“If you cared, we wouldn’t be here.” she mocked, taunting her father, trying to bring him to the point of frustration. She wanted to show these people him. Not the façade he had shown them, but the red faced, brute she had come to know.
“You know that isn’t true…” he countered with a meaningful look and tilt of his head. It was if to threaten or scare her into silence.
She had changed. She couldn’t be silenced. Her inner fire could not be doused with his cold stares.
“It is more than true.” she started.
“You are high aren’t you?” he interrupted.
Her mind raced. He was gaining control, and she knew it. With the other people in the room thinking she was high, she would lose all credibility.
“Past tense. I was high.” she corrected. It was not a impressive confession, but enough to make her seem at least currently sane.
The silence seemed deafening, as she began to examine the inhabitants of the room. Her mind drew a blank to many of the characters in reference to their relationship to her.
The elderly woman, who seemed all together too prim and proper to be lounging in a worn down living room talking to a druggie who must smell like three days worth of garbage. “Her perfect little nose must be permanently damaged from this stench.” she laughed silently.
Mother. She hadn’t seen her for years. Maybe this was genetic, running away, getting hooked on drugs, and being barely sober enough to come to Christmas dinner? It was all normal in this house. Why was everyone so shocked when she did it? There she was, with a smug look. “Good. Keep it, because I may be the only person on the face of the earth that you can feel like you are better then.” she thought spitefully.
Her brother seemed to sink into the couch, his gaze darting back and forth between herself and their father. It looked as if he was watching a slow tennis match, as his nervous cough broke the silence. His utter silence for the last few years had almost driven her to madness, he would take whatever side he felt would win, and run with them until the next battle. A drifter, if you will.
“Your lack of better judgment is what summoned us here to day. We need to talk about some options… You dropped out of college, and have no job nor place to live. What is you plan?” he interrupted her thoughts.
“Summoned? I am sorry, I didn’t realize we were in a court.” She threw him a smug look before continuing. “My plan is to continue, and I have no desire to change the course my life has taken. If there are no further questions, I ask the court for my dismissal.” she replied sarcastically.
“This isn’t a laughing matter. Everything to you is a joke, and you will be dead before the end of the year if you keep this up.” he ventured, knowing all too well there was no definite end to this argument. Nor had their ever been.
“Well, I will have lived a happy life.” With one final glance at her father and brother, she threw her bag over her shoulder, and left with no goodbye.