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I Know About the Pain, Love

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He used to have long, wavy black hair, but he cut it all off. I think it looks better this way. He wears several rings and a necklace with a little bell. It means something to him, but I won’t tell. That meaning belongs to him. It’s not my place to give it away.

I believe his hands and arms are his defining points. They are permanently marred by cuts, burns, and scars. They stand for his reckless attitude, his all-fun-and-games-until-someone-gets-hurt-and-it’s-usually-me mindset, and of course, his pain. His emotional anguish, his torture, his suffering. We are alone together.

But we are not alone.

And we are not together.

To me, our relationship goes so far beyond the depths of traditional high school relationships. Those are puddles created by a lovely spring rain next to the terrifying, deep, dark trench that is our friendship. It is based on a love so strong that it defies words and breaks down the barriers of what teenagers should be capable of feeling. It is based on his need to protect my childlike innocence. He lost his so unfairly. It is based on my attempts to comfort him, my attempts to shield him from The Pain. It would be an insult to our closeness to “go out.” Plus, who would accept the good girl and the bad guy?
But I love him. I want him in every way.

Shh. That part’s a secret.

I look closely at him. He’s smiling, but it isn’t real. A genuine smile would light up those beautiful eyes. This one doesn’t quite reach, though it would fool someone who didn’t know about The Pain. There are people out there who feel close to him, who may never understand who he really is. He could do that, if he wanted to. Hiding is a strength of his.

Hide from your fears.

Hide the cuts.

The Pain won’t find you this way. I’m sure of it, love.

Oh, his hands. I hold them, feel him shiver. It’s not cold in here, he must be scared. I trace his scars, my fingertips barely grazing his skin.

I’m at a loss.

What do I do to heal The Pain love? I can’t fix you, but maybe we can find the tools you need to fix yourself. We’ll heal your heart together.
The tremors rocking his tall, thin frame are beginning to slow. I’m not here to hurt you, honey. His whole body is slowly beginning to relax. His breathing steadies, his muscles loosenup, and soon he is completely at ease with me. I grasp the necklace he gave me, a silver chain with a single charm, a yin yang symbol. "It fits us perfectly," he told me. I look up, and unintentionally meet his gaze.

Suddenly

Our lips are touching.

It’s an amazing sensation. It’s full of all the things that we wanted to say that couldn’t be spoken aloud. It’s full of genuine passion and love and safety and just feels absolutely right.

You’re right for me.

We are not alone, but we are together. And that is how we’ll get through it all.

It’ll be ok.




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This article has 30 comments. Post your own!

Danealle said...
Aug. 18, 2011 at 7:51 pm:
This is chilling, but warm hearted. I would watch the word choice. 
 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 18, 2011 at 11:24 pm :
yeah, i know what you meann. ive been working on it thoughh :) thanks for readingg!
 
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SaritaFajita said...
Aug. 16, 2011 at 2:25 pm:

Love it !(:

Your an amazing writerr<3

 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 16, 2011 at 4:36 pm :
aww thankss! :)
 
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JoPepperThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 14, 2011 at 3:24 pm:
Very good job I really liked it!!!! :D
 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 14, 2011 at 6:17 pm :
thank you!
 
JoPepperThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 19, 2011 at 7:02 pm :
you're more than welcome!!!! :D
 
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.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 4:42 pm:
I'm assuming this is related to your other story, The Yin Yang Symbol?
 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 6:07 pm :
not directly. i mean they're both about the same thing and theyre very similar. almost to the point where i shouldve just combined them into one piece, but its not like two parts of a whole
 
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DaughterofEvil said...
Jul. 12, 2011 at 10:08 pm:
Wow. I related to this girl's "love". I'm pretty much like him in every way....still, a fantastic job!
 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 13, 2011 at 6:11 pm :
:/ i hope you're not just like him. he's a miserable person. if you are, i wish you the best and i hope that everything starts looking upp. thanks for reading :) <3
 
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JustEmily said...
Jul. 12, 2011 at 10:30 am:
I like how some of the girl's thoughts throughout the story correspond to the title. I always find that interesting. I also enjoyed the concept. It kind of reminded me of the book "Hush, Hush" what with the good girl falling for the bad guy. Good story.
 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 12, 2011 at 4:04 pm :
who is that byy? I think i'd like to read itt :) and thank youu!
 
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Alon_Freevoice said...
Jun. 24, 2011 at 11:54 pm:
Oh, I wish there is a guy like him waiting for me. This story is awesome. :)
 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 12:10 pm :
i know rightt? thanks so muchh, im glad you enjoyed itt :)
 
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NavishJ. said...
Apr. 25, 2011 at 2:50 pm:

Oooh, this writing piece is full of so much passion! :D I love it, I love your writing style. Your words are put together in a beautiful manner. I love how you portray your desires. I also love the details!

Keep writing, dear! :)

 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 25, 2011 at 5:49 pm :
yaayy thank youu!
 
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AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 2, 2011 at 8:09 pm:

Oh. My. Goodness.

 

Imagine the most exhilarating feeling you can think of.  That's what I felt when I read this.  My heart is literally POUNDING.  You. Are. AMAZING.  I realize I'm supposed to be giving critique and not gushing complements, so here it is.  It's very serious.

You are too freaking good.

 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 2, 2011 at 8:12 pm :
I just read some other comments and I saw some people saying your capitalization was weird.  I thought it was awesome.  "The Pain" added a sort of... yikes-ish quality.  Just pain is what you get from a papercut - this is not on that level, so it can't be written the same.  :)
 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 3, 2011 at 8:56 am :
thank you so much i soooo appreciate it! made my morningg :)
 
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