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Salty and Sweet

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You’ve always been curious why I eat chips when I’m sad.
“It’s comfort food,” I said.
“But why chips? Why not chocolate?”
You pressed.

“Because it’s salty and sweet.
Salty for the past,
the tears that come from the bad that has already happened.
Sweet for the future,
the smiles that come from the hope of the good to come.”



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AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 23, 2010 at 8:55 am

The good:  I liked this - it was fun in that you could see where the character was coming from, commiserate, and marvel at the chip logic, all in about ten seconds.  Great job!

The bad: To make it more like fiction and less like a poem, you could make the part where she said why she liked chips all one paragraph, instead of spacing it like that.  But that's just if you want to - I don't think it needs to be changed. :)

The random: Good job!

 
MayaElyashiv This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 23, 2010 at 9:44 am

I spaced it like that after I realized that it was like a poem...I thought that if it was already so close I'd just go all the way. I think if I were to submit it to a magazine or something that was only fiction I would go back to the original spacing. 

Thanks!

 
readaholicThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 11, 2010 at 10:23 am
Cool poem :) You write good stuff
 
MayaElyashiv This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 11, 2010 at 12:30 pm
Thanks!!! 
 
readaholicThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 12, 2010 at 10:49 am

You're welcome...

If this gets published (which it should) do you think they would put it under poetry or fiction?

 
MayaElyashiv This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 14, 2010 at 7:32 am

First: Thank, again!!!

And second...I have no idea. Probably fiction, because that's what I submitted it under but I really don't know. 

 
readaholicThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 14, 2010 at 6:09 pm
Maybe they'll make a poeyrt/fiction page right inbetween the two!!
 
MayaElyashiv This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 15, 2010 at 3:23 pm
Haha I'd feel really special if they did that XD
 
readaholic replied...
Sept. 15, 2010 at 6:51 pm
I bet you'd feel even more special if it was on the front page :) "Teen Ink-This Month's top story-the story without an appropriate genre!"  You'd be FAMOUS!
 
deka9 said...
Jul. 9, 2010 at 2:13 pm

Okay, I won't count this as the fiction I'm suppose to give a feedback to because it is like a poem just like you said, hahaha. I couldn't resist after clicking on the name and see the length. I had to read it, hahaha.

So so short yet so sweet! Hahaha, I love how profound this is. You were able to capture such emotions. And you were able to give me a new perspective on chips in two short paragraphs!! Hahaha, that is insane :p

I highly recommend you to write a real ... (more »)

 
MayaElyashiv This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 9, 2010 at 3:35 pm
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it and that the message came across! And I think I will try and write a full length story from those paragraphs...it's a good idea :)
 
taylorf463 said...
Jun. 28, 2010 at 8:52 pm
This is really good! It is so short yet has such depth. You really chose the right words. You were able to capture so many feelings into a small paragraph. That is the best way to write. Great Job!!! :)
 
MayaElyashiv This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 29, 2010 at 2:57 am
Thank you so much!
 
orish said...
Mar. 21, 2010 at 9:15 am
I like it!!
 
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