The Door (Revised)

February 5, 2010
By goddess_of_the_moon_123 SILVER, Beaverdam, Virginia
goddess_of_the_moon_123 SILVER, Beaverdam, Virginia
5 articles 0 photos 71 comments

Favorite Quote:
'To unpath'd waters, undream'd shores' ~ William Shakespeare, A Winter's Tale


“Tina, door!”
“Mom, I’m upstairs. Can you please get it?”
“Tina, get the door!”
“Please, Mom?”
“Tina, there’s someone at the door for you!”
“Fine, I’m coming!”
“You know what, fine. If you really don’t want to answer the door, then I will answer the door.”
“Mom, I said I would get it, just give me a sec!”
“Then hurry, Tina. It’s impolite to keep other people waiting.”
“Mom, I’m coming! And unless you want me answering the door in just a huge T-shirt, it’ll be a minute.”
“Just put on some sweat pants and come downstairs. And why are you just wearing a T-shirt?”
“Because it is a weekend, and so I am still in my pajamas. Have you seen my grey sweat pants?”
“No. And since when do you sleep in just a T-shirt? Didn’t we get you new pajamas last Christmas?”
“Yes you did, only they are flannel and it is June. I am not sleeping in flannel pajamas in June.”
“Tina, are you going to answer the door or not?”
“Yes Mom, I am going to answer the door.”
“Hurry, please.”
“I’m hurrying, Mom! Hear this? This is me coming down the stairs… and this is me unlocking the door, andOhMyGodthatisAaronJefferson. Aaron Jefferson is standing outside my door and I am wearing sweatpants. God, I am going to die. I’m going to die, wearing sweatpants. Someone please kill me now.”
“Oh, honey, aren’t you overreact—oh, he is cute!…...Uh, sweetie? That’s not exactly what I meant when I said sweat pants. I think there’s a hole right…”
“Yes Mom. I know.”
“Oh... So… Do you want me to get the door?”


The author's comments:
So I jumped the gun a little when I submitted the first version of this... oh well. This is the new and improved version, and frankly, I like it better, so I hope you guys will appreciate it too!

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This article has 15 comments.


on Jun. 26 2010 at 11:46 pm
roxymutt BRONZE, Marietta, Georgia
4 articles 5 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see. -David Henry Thoreau

this is soooooo cute i like that its all dialouge and no action it puts a unique spin on things i really like it!!! :D please write more to it if you can but try to keep the same styple its hard but i know you can do it and do it well

on May. 18 2010 at 4:32 am
.Escape.From.This.Afterlife. GOLD, Short Hills, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 94 comments

Favorite Quote:
"bad blood is more satisfying to spill across the floor..."

Haha this is really cute, the humor is awesome.  I actually like it the way it is, expanding it might not be a bad idea.  Good Job!

SandyC SILVER said...
on May. 2 2010 at 2:26 pm
SandyC SILVER, Concord, Other
5 articles 0 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
"In the end it won't matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away"

i LUV this...so cute and funny..."i think there's a hole right...'yes mom i know'" made me laugh....great work:)...i was wondering if yu'd mind reading/commenting on my article? thx:)

on Apr. 23 2010 at 4:20 pm
goddess_of_the_moon_123 SILVER, Beaverdam, Virginia
5 articles 0 photos 71 comments

Favorite Quote:
'To unpath'd waters, undream'd shores' ~ William Shakespeare, A Winter's Tale

Random-character-insert-cute-guy-name-here. Just needed a realistic name for an arbitrary minor character :P

on Apr. 23 2010 at 4:17 pm
goddess_of_the_moon_123 SILVER, Beaverdam, Virginia
5 articles 0 photos 71 comments

Favorite Quote:
'To unpath'd waters, undream'd shores' ~ William Shakespeare, A Winter's Tale

Absolutely! Although, I think I've tried to look for your stuff before and the website kinda spazzed on me. I'll try again though! And thanks for commenting!

on Apr. 22 2010 at 10:03 pm
redsoxandsunshine SILVER, Hamilton, Massachusetts
8 articles 0 photos 24 comments
"I'm hurrying. Mom! Hear this? This is me coming down the stairs..." This line made me laugh out loud. The story is short, sweet, and funny. I wonder if you could review some of my stuff?

on Apr. 14 2010 at 3:54 pm
Lover_that_Hates DIAMOND, Reynolds, Georgia
76 articles 0 photos 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
"She was fascinated with words. To her words were things of beauty, each like a magical powder or potion that could be combinded with other words to create powerful spells." From: Lighting(By: Dean Koontz)

I LOVE Gilmore Girls too! lol

on Apr. 13 2010 at 9:44 pm
goddess_of_the_moon_123 SILVER, Beaverdam, Virginia
5 articles 0 photos 71 comments

Favorite Quote:
'To unpath'd waters, undream'd shores' ~ William Shakespeare, A Winter's Tale

That's really funny, because I absolutely love Gilmore Girls! I didn't notice it before, but I guess the repartee between the daughter and mother in this piece does have that feel. Thanks for pointing that out! :)

on Apr. 12 2010 at 7:37 pm
burningembers GOLD, Union City, Ohio
10 articles 0 photos 51 comments
I loved that!!  Your writing flows so well and the humor was perfectly placed : )

on Mar. 31 2010 at 7:39 am
Lover_that_Hates DIAMOND, Reynolds, Georgia
76 articles 0 photos 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
"She was fascinated with words. To her words were things of beauty, each like a magical powder or potion that could be combinded with other words to create powerful spells." From: Lighting(By: Dean Koontz)

I really liked this story, very entertaining and funny. It sorta remained me of Gilmore Girls. The characters are different but the humorous element seemed very simular to Gilmore! Its great, you should write more!

-Missy- BRONZE said...
on Mar. 13 2010 at 12:23 am
-Missy- BRONZE, Ahhh, South Dakota
1 article 0 photos 75 comments
lol nice one! except one thing though, who is Aaron Jefferson?

on Mar. 11 2010 at 5:20 pm
Just.A.Dream SILVER, Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 431 comments

Favorite Quote:
Part of the J7X team. :)

I think it is very good so far, you should DEFINITELY add more. :)

on Mar. 2 2010 at 10:41 am
MayaElyashiv PLATINUM, Ramat Hasharon, Other
37 articles 4 photos 196 comments
Funny! I agree that this flows better, but only in some parts (I think). Although it's better overall, I think some of the daughter's character is lost in this version.

Keep writing! :)

on Feb. 21 2010 at 4:09 pm
xhiddeninsomniax SILVER, North Syracuse, New York
7 articles 2 photos 40 comments
This is really good!!! It flows better than the first one and I would love to her anotyher part or another story like this from you.

on Feb. 20 2010 at 11:00 am
SarClark BRONZE, NC, Connecticut
2 articles 0 photos 534 comments
I LOVED THIS! The one word thing??? i DO THAT ALL THE TIME! omg i luv luv luv this.... cud you write the next part???!!!


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