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That was it. I had enough. I ripped my coat off the sofa, put it on, and slid on my muddy sneakers. I threw open the front door, and stepped out into the cold night letting the door slam behind me. I hoped it slammed loudly. I dragged a deep breath of crisp January air, the type of air that was always on the verge of a snowfall, down my dry throat. As I exhaled, I could see my breath in front of me.
I shuddered. It was too cold for just my light jacket, but I really didn’t care.
I didn’t care.
I honestly didn’t give a s*** anymore.
Not a s*** about school.
Not about my ever-fighting parents.
Not about getting the lead in the musical.
Not about my friends,
Not even about myself.
I started to run. Hard. So hard I could hear my Converse slap against the frozen concrete like a teenage girl’s fury against a boy’s cheek.
Everything had been perfect. I was happy, I got great grades, my parents were proud, I had the lead in the musicals, my friends actually enjoyed being with me, even my dog barked happily whenever I came home, but I ruined that.
Yes, I was admitting it.
My mother was always saying I had a problem admitting I was wrong, but I had never agreed.
I knew it was my fault. I would freely admit it. I turned from a perfectionist to a Grade A mess-up.
See, I knew who I was.
My father was always saying I didn’t know my place. Well, now I do. I’m a mess-up, Dad. Happy?
I froze as a bright white light shined on me. Was I on stage again? Did I finally have the lead again? The light blinded me from seeing what was in front of where I stood. I stood frozen. I remembered it always being like that: the spotlight blinding me from seeing the audience’s reactions to the events taking place on stage. It always let me focus more on acting my part rather than pleasing the audience.
Only one noise screeched through my ears as I was thrown off my feet by something metal….something that hit me so fast my brain didn’t have time to realize what I was seeing….something cold:
Beep beep……..beep beep……..beep beep……..beep beep…….beep beep…….beep beep……..beep beep……beep beep…….beep beep…….
The beeping was softer now…..but much more annoying. The first beep had been loud and aggressive, like a lion’s roar echoing across the savanna, but this one……this one was soft and annoying like a leaky faucet or a ticking clock while you’re rolling back in forth unable to fall to sleep.
I opened my eyes to a similar bright, white light. I woke up in pain. I moaned. I knew eactly where I was.