K and K and a bit of smoke

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The silence was eire as Kevin stayed seated waiting for her to speak. Instead she leaned back and stared at the ceiling. The room was a mess blankets thrown about books laid out upon the coffee table that separated them. Yet surprisingly no trash, Kevin saw to that, out of all the things he didn't do and didn't care about, he couldn't stand trash. She hadn't said anything yet, just walked in and sat down.
"Do you mind if i smoke?" she asked.
"Yeah go for it."

She lit up releasing smoke highlighting the stagnate smoke smell that lingered there. He pulled a bag from his pocket containing what was left of his weed. He took a paper out put a few pinches in and began to roll. She still hadn't said anything but was now staring at him.
"Are you going to say anything, or do i have to guess."
"Are you going to light that or hold it with your lips."
"Why are you here?" Kevin lit it and waited.
"I have no where else to go. I've lost it and it's not coming back this time."
"Lost what? Your mind. Your patience, Your house, pet money. What?"
"No my talent, if it ever was there at all. I guess my mind too, but i'm pretty sure that was never there anyway."
"You hear about the rabbit?" He asked to side track her.
"This man, he was a farmer when the second dust storm came around. He had fields of vegetables, and was barely making quota, half his field was dead and each week one of his cabbages was always eaten, just one. Week after week but he'd never set traps and the little rabbit always had enough to eat. The man finally had his farm foreclosed and the crops died. The rabbit went to the field everyday picking away at the dying plants wondering what had happened. After a week he went wondering if it was ever there. And died never knowing if the field of vegetables was a dream or if it one point he ever actually had that gift."
"I never did like animals." She said puffing the joint with a face of disgust.
"What are you doing?"
"I've been asking myself that, It's like somebody places this book in front of you and it's full of these rules. And your expected to be a lawyer or or a doctor, but it doesn't add up. So you wait for these rules to make sense." She stopped lost in her thoughts and the hazy cloud that intertwined with her thoughts."
"They don't, not for everybody. And for those few who fall through the cracks they never recover." She finished."
"we built these walls and forgot where they came from, so we worship them."
"And that's why i'm here I've lost my talent and i've slipped through the cracks, not wanting to enter that world again. The things that made me happy have lost there taste, or I've lost my taste for them."
"I can't help you." He said.
"I'm not asking for your help, you've slipped through the cracks you just sit and write hoping that money comes at the end of the week, the only thing that ties you to any of this is money."

He got up and kissed her she kissed back.
"That's not the only thing."
"I'm tired and i can't play music anymore take me to your bed."

He carried her to the other room thinking. I have this but this too fades and soon it'll be only the money once again, but for now i can find meaning in the smallest of moments. How ever fleeting it may be, I know I'm real because it still hurts when she leaves.





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