Tree Climber

September 27, 2009
The tree hovers over my miniature body. Its branches beg to be touched, and whisper to me, “Climb on up! Climb on up!” My brain tries to tell me to be afraid but my heart forwardly tells me to be courageous. Slowly my hand arrives at the lowest branch rubbing the rough choppy bark. My hands move up toward the next branch which causes my feet to hop onto the tree.

Eventually my body flows into rhythm. Hands then feet, hands then feet. The tree pushes against my body and I can smell the scent of bark fill my nose. As I keep moving upward my courage takes over and my fear decreases. A gust of wind blows through the leaves and branches causing my feet to lose balance. My body dangles in the air as my legs search for the branch. My heart beats against my chest as if it might push out of my skin. My arms are becoming shaky and panic is rising. My brain tells me, “Pull yourself up!” My numb arms suddenly start to lift my hanging body onto a branch. My heart becomes calm and my arms sigh with relief. The tree still tells me to climb and my heart agrees.
I slowly stand, keeping my balance. I wrap my sore fingers around the next branch and return to my routine. I’m very cautious of my surroundings fearing I might fall. My brain had full control and I ponder going back down. I hear the leaves rustle beside me so I glance to see a squirrel staring toward me with wide eyes. It quickly leaps to the next tree. Now my brain is just a whisper and my heart yells, “Climb to the top!”
Suddenly I put my hand up to reach the next branch, but I don’t feel it. I’m staring up into the pale blue afternoon sky. I place myself onto the highest branch, and tear off an apple for my lunch. As I’m chomping into my sweet treat, the tree laughs, “You did it!” My face lights up feeling brave.





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This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

sleeplessdreamer said...
Aug. 1, 2010 at 8:53 pm
I agree with purplemango about the repetitive use of a word. Watch out for that. Since this is such a beautifully descriptive piece, I really think you could have added more personality to it. Delve into the characters feelings a bit more. I think the word usage was a little strict and the vocabulary made the character a little hard to reach, if you get what I'm saying... BUT you have a beautiful flow in this piece that really encompasses the feelings very well. Overall, good job. 
 
purplemango This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 7, 2010 at 4:41 pm
I love how descriptive this piece is. You really paint the imagine in the minds of your reader, and I could almost feel myself climbing up the tree in my backyard! Be careful about using the same word over and over to start your sentences. Other than that, excellent writing! :)
 
MyChey5 replied...
Mar. 7, 2010 at 5:59 pm
Yeah, i was just trying to get an A. haha. =)
 
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