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This Funny Little Summer Love

Oh, you make me so mad!

I don't know how much more obvious I can be without using the words, "I love you!"

I guess you're not interested. I let our fingers touch when we're sitting on the grass, but you're quick to pull away. So fast, it's like it never happened in the first place. Did you notice how close I was standing to you when we were walking? Did you not hear me say, "My hands are FREEZING!"?
And didn't you wonder WHY my hands were dangling freely at my side, and occasionally bumping into yours?

It's probably because you don't like me.

But no! I want you to like me SO MUCH! Just to have someone, another half to make the whole. The missing puzzle piece, the absolute right to your left.

So I try not to notice the way you talk to HER. The way you put grass down her shirt like we're five. I cast my glace downwards when I see you staring at her, and I don't feel guilty when you see I've caught you. I try not to get mad at her, because she's supposed to be my wing woman, my "BFF," my confidante. I force myself to think, "She's just talking," when anyone else would call her Flirty McFlirtington.

But I do notice the little things. I notice how we can stare into each others eyes for minutes and it won't get awkward. I notice how you stutter and your tongue trips over your words when you're talking and we make eye contact. I know I make you nervous, and that excites me. I notice that you're more than you think you are, less shallow and quite a bit more deep. I notice your perma-tan, your sandy blonde hair and the way you wear the same white t-shirt and dark jeans whenever you're around me. I notice the jealousy in her voice when she says, "He's the hottest guy you've ever fallen for!" and, "I wish he'd talk to me the way he talks to you."

Oh, and don't think I don't see you when you walk by my place every two minutes and bend down to tie your shoe, or pretend to be lost.

There is no ending. This is the start. I want to make something out of this. But it's August 31st, and I realize I only have one more day to TELL,
You
How
I
Really
Feel!





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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

kookoodood said...
Sept. 5, 2009 at 10:11 am
Thanks for your comment. I really appreciate the constructive feedback.
This piece is great. It totally captures the feeling of losing something impermanent and still feeling loss. I love it. ^.^
 
aspiring.author.09 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 9, 2009 at 6:26 pm
Thanks for your comments as well, kookoodood! That was what I was trying to get at with this piece, so thank you very much!
 
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