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I’m standing on the brink of forever looking down at eternity. Upon looking down I see nothing but darkness. The sky is shining with the red sun of dawn. Clouds dot the sky ringed with gold and pink. The sweet smell of a new day fills my lungs as I breathe deeply. Someone all too familiar walks up behind me and wraps his arms around me. His soft smell of sage envelops me.
“Hello,” he said in his musical voice. I turned to face him. He is slightly taller than me. His olive green eyes glow in the growing light. His jaw curved in soft angles. As his pale lips brush my cheek he whispered, “I’ve missed you.” It had been a long and boring month since I had last seen my boyfriend.
“I’m so glad your back.” I said hugging him. He ran his hands through my long red brown hair and tickled me.
“Jonathan stop,” I laughed and he joined in taking my hand in his. The sky had turned pale blue by now so we walked away from the ledge and into the small town we lived in. “So how was Australia?” I asked. He shrugged.
“Not that interesting. I found out I have no surfing abilities at all. I was ‘attacked’ by some girly Australia girls and come back with an accent.” He smiled.
“That’s not interesting?” I asked.
“Nope,” we just walked around neither of us wanted to go home. My dad didn’t like Jonathan and his parents didn’t give a care just wanted him out of the house. “What do you wanna do?” he asked. Not much was open at 7.
“I don’t know…hey look the rollerblading rink just opened and I have passes!” I said looking a bright colored building.
“Sounds cool,” Jonathan said and we went in. The building was slightly warmed then outside and smelled like a mix of shoes and pizza.
“Hello and welcome to the rink what size?” asked the man behind the counter. He looked absolutely bored.
“Fred! Fred you lazy bum wake up for heaven’s sake!” came a yell from the back and up walked a fat woman who looked to be in her 40s.
“What” he said lazily when the she glared at him.
“Never mind, what size?” she asked us.
“9 and 12,” I answered. She gave us our skates and we pulled them on. We were the only ones here so no one could laugh at how bad we both were. Suddenly my skate rolled out from under me. Jonathan tried to catch me but we both ended up falling. We tried to help each other up but couldn’t . I burst out laughing and so did Jonathan.
By 8 there were more people.
“Look Lilly and her jerk of a brother are here.” He said and l looked up to see two people walking in. it was getting to be lunch time and I said I didn’t feel like eating dirt flavored pizza so we left. We walked around hand in hand till we came to our favorite local dinner: Fillies.
“Hey Ricky!” I called and a tall skinny boy with brown hair wearing the uniform of black pant and red shirt looked up.
“Dude, you’re back!”He said when he saw Jonathan. ignoring his boss’s grunt of disapproval he jumped over the counter.
“How’s the beard?” he asked shaking Ricky’s hand. Ever since we started 11th grade Ricky had been trying to grow a beard without much success. It was now the end of the year and it had gown only about three centimeters.
“Another centimeter man” he said stroking the stubbles on his chin and I rolled my eyes. We ate our food then left.
The next day we went back to school. I was sitting in 3rd period when my phone vibrated. I made sure the teacher wasn’t looking and read the massage.
Dinner/ movies 6?
I smiled and typed yes.
The door bell rang and before I could run down the stairs my dad answered.
“Good evening sir.”Jonathan said trying to stay on his good side. My dad just growled and held the door open. He was dressed in a dark pair of jeans and had a white long sleeve shirt under a dark blue button down shirt. I smiled and quickly kissed my dad on the cheek and ran out.
“You look nice.” I said as we go in to his car.
“Thank you. You’re not bad yourself.”I was wearing the baby blue thank top he had given me for my birth day and a black skirt and leggings that matched the top.
After the movie I asked were we going for dinner and he said it was a surprise. We were almost out of town when he pulled in to the parking lot of the town’s only park.
“Here?” I asked as I got out he nodded. I was totally confused but knowing Jonathan this wasn’t it. I followed him to a bench and sat down. After about ten minutes later car lights drove in to the parking lot. A young man caring a pizza box walked over to us.
“You Jonathan?” he asked and he nodded. The man handed him the box and left. I had to smile the pizza was from the place where we had our first date.
“Sorry I couldn’t think of any other place.”He apologized.
“I don’t mind anyway I rather like it out here. And I don’t need all the lights and fancy food you’re all I’ll ever need.” I said as he held me close to him. I pulled my arms up and put them around his neck. Jonathan leaned his head down and kissed me on the lips, the pizza sat forgotten. We finally ate the pizza and since it was getting late we go back in to the car. We were about three miles from my house when I was blinded by car head lights. I realized that it was in front of us and getting closer when it shouldn’t be.
“Jonathan! He’s going the wrong way! We’re going to crash!” I screamed as the truck rammed into us and I knew we were going to die. I felt my head hit the air bag then nothing but blackness.
I woke to the sound of a heart monitor and bright lights. I was in the hospital. I turned my head to see who was in the bed next to mine, Jonathan. He was bandaged up all over and had an IV in his arm. The door opened and in came an old looking doctor.
“How are you feeling” he asked. What a stupid question. But I answered honestly as I could. I was still trying to waking up.
“Horrible, worried and confused. How long was I out?” I asked looking at the clock. It was two in the morning.
“4 hours I think.” He went on to ask questions about what happened and who we were. I answered them as well as I could. He soon left and I fell asleep again.
Judging by the clock I was asleep for only an hour. Jonathan’s heart monitor had gone down and then it suddenly flattened! I froze completely terrified. It took my brain a minute to catch up. He was dead! Horror and sadness welled up in me. I couldn’t stop myself. I jumped out of my bed and not caring if I hurt myself ran to Jonathan’s bed side. “No! Jonathan no! Don’t leave me! Come back! No!” I screamed sobbing. The doctors were pulling back I yelled at them to let me go. How could they just let him die? I needed him! Once I has calmed down a little they handed me a folded sheet of paper. I unfolded it, it was from Jonathan.
Dear my only love,
If you’re reading this I must be dead. I want you to know I’m so sorry! The doctors came in while you were asleep and told me I was going to die. I told them not to wake you to let you know, you needed to heal. I love you so much and I’m so sorry that I’m dead. Now that I’m gone I want no I need you to go on living without me. You are so beautiful and I need for you to smile again because you are so much more beautiful when you do. You remind me of a summer’s morning. You were the one who made me happy for once in my life. You made me feel like I was important and like I belonged. I love you. You eyes sparkle in the night sky. I know it’s going to be hard but you need to be the beautiful girl I know you are. One day smile again for me if nothing else.
Love you forever,
PS. I will love you for all eternity!
I read it over and over in my head not wanting to forget, not wanting his last words to die. Tears poured from my eyes and I know then they would not stop any time soon. I eventually cried myself to sleep.
Three days later I went back to school. I talked to absolutely no one the whole day till 5th period. It was the only class I had with Jonathan. The teacher called roll and when he called Jonathans name I burst in to tears. Every one kept asking what was wrong; they still didn’t know he was dead. When I wouldn’t say anything the teacher sent me to the nurses office and asked Ricky to take me. Ricky looked really concerned.
“Where’s Jonathan, what’s wrong?” he asked. I couldn’t take it anymore.
“He’s dead! Jonathan’s dead!” I yelled and ran out of the school, I didn’t care anymore. Ricky followed me to the ledge and I only stopped when I got to the very edge. I had stood here only a week ago with Jonathan and now that would never happen again! Ricky stood behind me and I turned hugging him and he let me cry in to his shirt.
“It’s okay.” He said crying too. He had lost his best friend.
“No its not, he’s gone forever and I’ll…I’ll never see him again! I can’t live like this I fell like part of me has died along with him. I don’t even know why I’m still alive I should be dead too!” I sobbed my hot tears burned my face. My legs grew week and I sat down .I wondered how l was going to do it, go on living without Jonathan but I knew I had to. It was his death wish that I smile again and I knew I would. It wouldn’t be soon but when I did it would be his smile.