Ripper

February 11, 2015
By Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P


I approach her slowly, letting my money rattle around quietly in my pocket. My shoes make the now-familiar clicking sound against the empty London alleyway stones as I step forward.

"How much have you got, mister?" she asks, painted face bright with the blush of a thousand pinches and presses, hair piled on top of her head in a bun already falling apart from the night's activities.

"What will you take?" My palm dips into my pocket, and I let some silver flash into her desperate eyes. The taunt of money makes her gaze grow in intensity, and another brown curl falls from the mess on her head.

"A pound," she says, licking her lips in either nervousness or anticipation.

I agree with a short nod of my head, letting my dark hair sway about my face. I won't be paying tonight, either way.

"Then, mister-"

"You may call me Jack," I say, stopping in front of her and touching her ruddy chin gently. This one's complexion is far from fair, marked by blemishes and blush. But the face... No, the face won't matter greatly; I may leave it. I force myself to lean down slightly to her height. She stands around five feet, and I at six, making this the perfect cover. My lips are just above hers, and if she tilts her head upward, the neck will be exposed, and-

The creature closes her eyes and touches my face. I do my best not to shudder as she presses her cold lips to mine hotly, nimble fingers already searching my pockets for the glint of coins.
I toss aside her hand and grab the knife hidden in my left pocket, sliding it upwards and into the woman's throat almost effortlessly, making two thin cuts just on the left side.

She doesn't even scream, simply dripping into my arms like a rag doll, letting me thrust her body against the dark brown fence. This one is certainly less messy than the last, but I am not finished yet. I lay her down and cut into the rough fabric of her dress, humming quietly to myself.

My hair falls into my face more than once as I work, and I toss it back resolutely, hiding it under my hat and flipping the bills so they face outward correctly. The bags under my eyes are illuminated in the fresh light spreading from the east. It must be almost six in the morning by now, and I barely have the front of the dress off.

Reaching into my pocket, I pull out the scalpel and clean off any remaining blood, cutting into her stomach like paper. My eyes sweep her insides quickly, and I begin to sever the uterus from the organs around it. My fingers are almost covered in blood, and I frown at the sight. Dirt, grime, filth... Disgusting.

Straightening, I wipe my hands on my dark jacket and shove the uterus into my pocket. Then I pull out my hand again and slide it against her still-warm skin, quietly removing the brass rings from her undeserving fingers, while my other hand forages for coins somewhere on my person.

"Shall two farthings be enough, my lady?" I ask mockingly, throwing the money at her. Her eyes are closed, and she gives no answer, looking less and less like a woman of the night as the light of the day grows.

Good morning, London.

Good night, Jack.


The author's comments:

I'll be honest because honesty is always important: I was listening to that poor overplayed song Hide and Seek (commonly known as "mmm whatcha say" by tumblr) and I began writing about someone being shot, then that someone became an it, then that it became a prostitute, and I became Jack the Ripper. I do apologize.


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This article has 31 comments.


on Jul. 20 2015 at 4:54 am
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

Thank you, Kat. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

on Jul. 16 2015 at 7:21 pm
SomeoneMagical PLATINUM, Durham, New Hampshire
22 articles 1 photo 260 comments
I really, really really liked this piece of writing! The descriptions painted pictures in my head. I loved it!

on Mar. 4 2015 at 5:14 am
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

Thank you very much, Mckay. Your enthusiasm is quite heartening. I did actually mix in some of Hannibal Lecter by accident, perhaps. I was researching the Jack the Ripper case and taking all of my descriptions, times, actions from what was heard and seen at the actual crime. That said, I'm very glad you enjoyed it.

Mckay ELITE said...
on Mar. 3 2015 at 9:27 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Oddly enough I don't read that many fiction pieces here on this site, because I feel it's too much the same or rather tedious to read. With that said, I did enjoy this unnerving piece. It's fiendishly addicting. Reminds me of the show Hannibal (obviously Jack the Ripper did inspire the character Dr. Hannibal Lecter). I do believe this deserved an Editors' Choice. There were no punctuation or grammatical errors: in fact, your prose was spot on. The imagery was alive (no pun intended). And it's a fresh breath of air from all the other melodramatic pieces on this site. I do wish it was longer or something to that effect. Really well done. You just might have a knack for the macabre. Read Gillian Flynn if you like this sort of thing. Her work is modern, and realistic in a sense. But she's the Poe, in the prose genre, of our time, I would say. 5/5

on Mar. 1 2015 at 4:50 pm
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

*cuddles* Don't be scared! And thank you.

.king. SILVER said...
on Mar. 1 2015 at 8:11 am
.king. SILVER, Yeux Bien Tres Bien, Other
9 articles 4 photos 573 comments

Favorite Quote:
( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

Dear Lord... I got scared. ;-; You're really good at this...

on Mar. 1 2015 at 12:55 am
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

Thank you, Tanaz. It's amazing to be told by people who have been in the magazines that they think I'm on their level. *bows*

on Mar. 1 2015 at 12:52 am
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

Thank you, Leader. I do think I could have done better there- thank you very much for your critique.

on Feb. 28 2015 at 1:23 pm
FollowingLeader GOLD, Moline, Illinois
10 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything stinks till it's finished," -Dr. Suess

Gee whiz, that was weird, but in a delightfully creepy way. I loved the imagery. I genuinely shuddered. If you were to work on it, though, I would maybe try other openings and closings.

on Feb. 28 2015 at 6:50 am
TanazMasaba GOLD, Dhaka, Other
16 articles 10 photos 214 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's Heaven on Earth."













---William W. Purkey

Not just an Editor's Choice, this one deserves to be in the magazine. Gruesome but breathtaking, this is one amazing piece of work!

on Feb. 23 2015 at 11:47 am
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

Thank you so much, Shagun! I don't think I'm quite on that level yet, though it might just be my scaring off people with gore ;-;

on Feb. 23 2015 at 7:32 am
BurrThistle GOLD, Jaipur, Other
10 articles 0 photos 162 comments

Favorite Quote:
Write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect

ummmm just a second. Let me compose myself. Okay done. WOW! I think this deserved an Editor's Choice tickmark. You had me hooked from the first word. 'blush of a thousand pinches, brilliant. Love the way you ended it too. Please check out some of my newer pieces - 'Family Dinner' or 'The Market' Thanks!

on Feb. 22 2015 at 12:47 pm
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

Thank you, Muppet Casey! It was meant to be slightly creepy, yes. I hope the images aren't keeping you up at night, though.

on Feb. 22 2015 at 2:16 am
CaseyChickenWang SILVER, McDonough,
7 articles 2 photos 89 comments

Favorite Quote:
"No one likes half-jinglers! Jingle all the way!" - Shelley McNeight
"You don't get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate." - GSUMUN

OMG this was reallllyyy creepy. That's a good thing if that's what you were going for. I love the gritty, grotesque details. Well written, I still have the graphic images in my mind.

on Feb. 22 2015 at 12:57 am
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

Thank you very much! Sadly, I tend to write in short little chunks like this piece, but I have something around 2,000+ words that I plan to actually lengthen and then publish as a novel here.

on Feb. 22 2015 at 12:55 am
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

Thank you very much for the critique! I agree, one of my greatest shortcomings is lack of description, so thank you very much for telling me. The problem, however, with describing the killing is that I've had a few people think this was too gory already, and I don't like making people unhappy. But overall, I will certainly work on describing this in more detail.

on Feb. 22 2015 at 12:29 am
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

Thank you, Robot! I wrote another thing with some gore in it, but I'm rather afraid to upload it due to the mixed reactions. I was talking to a friend of mine about how slashing open a stomach isn't really gore and she looked so frightened ;-;

on Feb. 20 2015 at 8:21 pm
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

Thank you very much, Athena. I tried my best to capture how I felt the killer's thoughts would have looked like, and I'm very glad you enjoyed this.

on Feb. 20 2015 at 6:28 pm
dgeileen PLATINUM, Livingston, New Jersey
31 articles 2 photos 109 comments

Favorite Quote:
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
― Oscar Wilde

Darker than the pieces I usually read but amazing! Wish you made it longer.

on Feb. 20 2015 at 6:24 pm
shinebrightxoxo BRONZE, Roslyn, New York
3 articles 0 photos 4 comments
This really intrigued me... great work! It was incredibly interesting and, throughout the entire story, I was eager to keep reading for more! The only things that I have to say are (#1) that you should describe the "lady of the night's" appearance a bit more, like maybe what she was wearing. Bring her to life before she's dead! Also, (#2) describe the killing in a bit more detail. I know you want to make it seem like it was no big deal, but I still feel like I would like to read a bit more in that realm. The great thing about this story is that it delivers a ton of emotion to the reader... even if that emotion is a sick one, take advantage of it and make it as strong as possible!


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