Desertion

August 12, 2011
By CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius


“My Lady.” Neferura, my body servant, bowed low before me.

“What’s wrong? How did the battle go?”

Neferura bit her lip. “We were defeated. Mark Antony is storming around the palace, demanding to see you. He was furious that the legions he took out defected before the battle.”

I sighed and closed my eyes. First we had lost at Actium, now Mark’s legions had defected…he was not going to be happy. I picked at an imaginary crumb on my sheath, pondering what to do. What would Mark do to me if I answered his summons? Was he so far gone that he’d kill me for abandoning him at Actium?

“Neferura, you will go back to Mark and tell him I’m already dead.”

She gasped. “My Lady, he would never kill you out of rage. You have enthralled him.”

“I have no idea what he’ll do in this state; he may very well kill me. Now go tell him I’m dead. That’s an order.”


She bowed, then ran out of my mausoleum. Ever since we came back from the battle at Actium, I had hidden in my half-finished mausoleum. No one would ever think of finding the Pharaoh in her own tomb. It was the perfect hiding place.


My crypt was illuminated by a single lamp and the flickering on the painted walls made it seem even creepier. I usually had Neferura or a slave with me, but now I was completely alone. It was so silent that I could hear every breath I took and every set of footsteps nearing the tomb sent my heart fluttering with fear. Was Mark going to take his anger out on me? He couldn’t kill me, though. He loved me.


“What is it?”


A pale, flushed Neferura returned. I looked closely at her eyes and saw that she had been crying. What had Mark done to her?


“My Lady, Mark…he…stabbed himself.”


“No!” I screamed. “He can’t do that! Who will protect me now?”


Neferura just stood there.


“He’s still alive, but he’s dying quickly.”


“Get some slaves and bring him here. I need to see him before he dies.”


Neferura ran like the Khatyu demons were chasing after her. I waited only five minutes in agonized silence before slaves bearing a litter rushed in. As soon as the curtains were pulled back, the metallic stench of blood filled my crypt.


The source of that horrible smell, Mark, stumbled out of the litter toward me, bleeding copiously from a self-inflicted wound to his stomach. How could he leave me now, when Octavian was ready to capture me and take over Egypt? I felt hot tears rolling down my cheek.


“Don’t cry Cleopatra, not over me.” He reached up and brushed away the tears that ran down my face. “You’re so beautiful.”



Gods, what an idiot. I wasn’t crying over him dying! I was crying because I was losing my key to power in Egypt. Of course I wasn’t going to tell him that; I would humour Mark for the last time.


“How can I not cry? The love of my life is leaving me.”


“We’ll see each other again in whichever heaven we go to.” He smiled, then grimaced. “Neferura, bring me a goblet of wine. I am the incarnation of Dionysus; I need my god’s wonderful creation before I die.”


Neferura hurried over to my stash of food in one of the antechambers and came back with a goblet of good Roman wine. Mark took it in his shaking hand, then downed it in a few gulps. He sat up, grimacing the whole time and we hugged.


It was a fierce hug, the kind when you don’t know if you’ll ever see the other person again. Mark smelled like blood and judging by the stickiness in my stomach area, I was now covered in his blood. Lovely.


He looked at me for a few seconds, then kissed me. I could taste the blood on his lips; why did he have to stab himself to commit suicide? Couldn’t he have used poison? Finally, I felt him go limp in my arms. Thank the gods!


I unceremoniously dropped his body on the floor, then stood up. Neferura didn’t look shocked in the least; she knew I never really cared about him. She looked at my sheath and saw the blood, then ran back to the antechamber to get me a new one. I scrambled to get my blood-soaked one off and as soon as I did, I draped it over Mark’s body. The affair Mark and I had ended as soon as he died. It was time to get a new man.


After all, Octavian was coming.


The author's comments:
Historical Notes:
1. 'Mark Antony' is the English version of Marcus Antonius, his Latin name. I didn't want to confuse people by fighting convention, so I called him Mark even though Cleopatra would have known him as Marcus.

2. Octavian was known as Gaius in his day, but since everyone knows him by the name Octavian or Caesar Augustus, so I didn't fight convention.

Tell me what you think of my portrayal of Cleopatra in the comments! I'm curious as to what you guys think. Oh, and credit for my title goes to Teen Inker MorenSore. Thanks!

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This article has 83 comments.


on Aug. 19 2013 at 1:43 am
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thank you! :)

on Aug. 19 2013 at 1:42 am
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks!  I always pictured Cleopatra as a very strong woman and three years after writing this I still picture her that way.  She was an incredible, yet flawed person.

on Aug. 14 2013 at 7:01 pm
dejarenee SILVER, Goose Creek, South Carolina
6 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Write to Liberate"

i enjoyed the way portrayed cleopatra. nice job!

on Jul. 19 2013 at 2:53 pm
DawnieRae BRONZE, Lancaster, Ohio
3 articles 0 photos 218 comments
I really liked this. I really like how you portrayed Cleopatra. It was very good!!!

on Dec. 23 2012 at 3:11 am
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Great minds think alike, don't they? ;)  Thanks for commenting!

on Dec. 19 2012 at 1:04 pm
LinkinPark12 PLATINUM, Lincolnshire, Other
45 articles 1 photo 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
Work like you don’t need money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching. ¦ I like change - but only when everything stays the same.

This was really cool :) I loved Cleo's new personality, although I imagined she was like that anyway tbh. :) Very well written!

on Jan. 10 2012 at 7:14 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks for the thoughtful comment! :)

on Jan. 10 2012 at 4:23 pm
SarasotaWonder BRONZE, Cumberland, Maine
1 article 0 photos 61 comments
Great work! I've heard this story before....but I really enjoyed your version. You gave Cleopatra a spunky and feminene (sorry about the spelling) voice that really stood out to me. The only thing I would add is more description of the setting. Great work!

on Jan. 1 2012 at 3:07 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks for commenting! :)

on Jan. 1 2012 at 2:03 pm
Eshshah PLATINUM, Galloway, New Jersey
32 articles 31 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep." -Robert Frost

this is a great story, It could have been a little more detailed though, maybe describe mark anthony more? also the dialogue was a little rigid. but I love the idea, and I don't usually like history stuff.

on Dec. 23 2011 at 11:04 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks very much for your thoughtful comment! :)

Malsie8 GOLD said...
on Dec. 23 2011 at 7:45 pm
Malsie8 GOLD, Placentia, California
12 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us"
-Lord of the Rings

Definitely like this one better than the first one I read! Even though that was was very well written, this one just had something more to it, like you connected with the character better! Not too many slip ups on your 21st century language too! Overall very well written yet again! :D

on Dec. 13 2011 at 6:15 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks for commenting! :)

Matice BRONZE said...
on Dec. 13 2011 at 6:13 pm
Matice BRONZE, O&#39Fallon, Missouri
2 articles 0 photos 141 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Maria, first, let me say that you will most certainly regret it. Second, let me say that I'm in."-Smith

Excellent! You did an amazing job on this. Left me wanting more. :)

on Nov. 27 2011 at 3:05 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks! :)  I'm glad you enjoyed it.

on Nov. 27 2011 at 3:04 pm
GretaGibson PLATINUM, Vancouver, Other
23 articles 4 photos 23 comments
I enjoyed it. Seeing Cleopatra from this point of view, as a cold heartless player bent only by power,  very interesting

on Nov. 27 2011 at 12:33 am
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks Eastep! :)  I appreciate the comment.

Lovejuice GOLD said...
on Nov. 27 2011 at 12:31 am
Lovejuice GOLD,
19 articles 0 photos 55 comments

Cleopetra is so manipulative from this perspective!

I think I like it even better than the usual Cleopatra.

 

As always, your writing is amazing, and your spelling is impecable.

Please, write more! I would love to see what Cleopetra does next.


on Nov. 20 2011 at 5:12 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

What was the point of Mark getting mad?  He was going to die anyway.  Thanks for commenting! :)

on Nov. 20 2011 at 4:43 pm
Jappyalldayeveryday, Detroit, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
They say that good things take time, but really great things happen in the blink of an eye

This was interesting, seeing Cleopatra's point of view, but wouldn't Mark be mad after finding out she was actually still alive? That part confuses me.




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