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Little Red

The wolf crept slowly forward. He growled, almost seeming to taunt Red with his blood stained teeth.

Red screamed.

She paused, hoping her cry would be answered. But no response was given to her.

In the moonlight the wolf's eyes seemed to glow with the ghosts of his past victims.

She screamed again; now, causing her arms and legs to tremble with terror.

Red took a step back. Her heel hit the base of a sturdy oak tree, its long branches seemed to enshroud her. She pressed her back, hard against the bark of the tree hoping it would consume her.

A single tear broke free, it rolled down her cheek and then stopped. Oh why had she not obeyed her Grandmother? Why had she gone into the forbidden forest?

Red opened her mouth, trying to scream for the third time. But no sound came. She closed her eyes slowly excepting her fate.

The wolf snarled again. It was hungry.

Red only hoped that now in the middle of this dark, and forboding place her end would be quick.

She could almost imagine his teeth sinking in to her skin. Allowing the blood to pour. She breathed in deeply trying to calm herself...The wolf lunged.

Red braced herself waiting to cry out in pain. But it was the wolf who howled in pain. He landed a foot away, as if some unknown invisible force had kicked him.

The wolf whimpered, looking distastfully up at Red, then scampered away like a little puppy.

Little Red Riding Hood gasped, just now remembering the red cloak she wore. The red wool hood her grandmother had given her. Of course. How stupid! She had forgotten about the magic in the wool that protected her. In the terror she had forgotten.

Red slumped down to the ground, letting out a muffled sob. She hugged herself allowing the tears of joy to flow freely off her face.



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This article has 24 comments. Post your own!

LonglegsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 21 at 9:16 am:
Wow. I wrote a changed story of Red Riding Hood too (please check it out). I can't believe how different yours is from mine! So suspenseful.
 
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Naruto101 said...
Sept. 9, 2013 at 10:52 am:
i LOVED it. it was a great story i loved all the tenstion in it
 
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LinRouge said...
May 20, 2012 at 1:01 pm:

I like very much that it's set in the moment. However, your approach to this moment makes it a bit choppy.  When focusing on a moment and making that the entirety of a story, you need to really hit every single detail because that is what the moment is made of. Yes, you did describe various major moments but you need to go more in depth. What is tree bark really like, besides just "hard"? Does she smell anything? What is the air like? These are all important details that enhance a moment... (more »)

 
Anonymous_7 replied...
May 20, 2012 at 9:44 pm :
Thanks for commenting. I really appreciate your incite. I will definitaly try this!
 
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team_haymitchThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 27, 2012 at 10:50 pm:
Cool! You should write the whole story like that, and maybe a sequel.
 
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IT_WILL_RAIN said...
Nov. 19, 2011 at 5:46 pm:
ive never heard the story told like that but it was really cool like that:)
 
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Lacer said...
Nov. 2, 2011 at 7:47 pm:
it's good writing. But it's very simple in it's structure, very chopped and simple dialouge, like a diary.
This is like writing to yourself, instead of an audience. I'm not trying to be mean, just helpful :/
(writing to yourself is a hard habit to get out of)
 
Anonymous_7 replied...
Nov. 6, 2011 at 4:03 pm :
I understand what you mean but I was writing for myself. I dont think of an audience when I write just my own personal enjoyment! Also, I was trying to make it less descriptive so that you would have to use your imagination when you read it! But thanks for the comment I will think about that next time I write something.
 
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CarrieAnn13 said...
Oct. 15, 2011 at 2:22 pm:
That was a very powerful passage!  My only criticism is that you should add a bit more description and paragraph less often.  Other than that, excellent work!
 
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billlover420 said...
Oct. 15, 2011 at 1:28 pm:
this is beyond stunning you did amazeing at this u are soo very tattlented <3
 
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AntWrangler13 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 12, 2011 at 3:23 am:
Wow, this is soo good!  The description is amazing, makes you feel as if you're actually there-I'm really impressed :D
 
Anonymous_7 replied...
Oct. 12, 2011 at 11:16 am :

Thanks for commenting! It means alot.

 

 
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silver47 said...
Oct. 5, 2011 at 10:57 pm:

omg!!!! you have got to write more, I beg of you!!!!!!!! O.O It was very descriptive

 

 
Anonymous_7 replied...
Oct. 7, 2011 at 7:17 pm :
:D Thanks! If and when I write more I'll let you know.
 
silver47 replied...
Oct. 10, 2011 at 9:07 pm :

haha okay and thanx :o :P

 

 
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MonaLisaSmile said...
Oct. 5, 2011 at 5:18 pm:
More please!
 
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Artemis--Sherwood said...
Oct. 4, 2011 at 4:56 pm:
I like your creativity, especially since I know I wouldn't have thought of a magic cloak. *wishes she had one too*
 
Anonymous_7 replied...
Oct. 5, 2011 at 4:37 pm :
Thanks! But I have no idea where the magical cloak came from :)
 
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flyingpinkgiraffes This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 28, 2011 at 8:21 pm:
okay, i'm just going to say that i LOVE fairytale retellings, i write them all the time, and little red riding hood is like my favorite one to do...  well anyways this was great.  at first i was a little dissapointed because i thought you weren't going to change anything about the origonal story, you know the this-is-what-really-happened kind of thing?  but i was really happy with the ending.  I would have liked something more in depth though, but im not complaining.  
 
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afdsafdsa said...
Sept. 28, 2011 at 12:37 pm:
safdsafdsafdsafdsad
 
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