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We Love You Bob Bryar
Our warning was when Bob sat us down a serious look on his face. Not that that was an unusual thing. The serious expression on him, not the sitting us all down to talk.
Gerard, Mikey and I sat on the couch, Ray on the floor with Bob in the booth. Mikey sat by the left armrest, me by the right, with Gee cozily squished between us. We all sat quietly waiting expectantly for Bob to speak. Our drummer nervously bit his right snake bite staring at the floor intently before looking up and stating
For a few moments we all sat in shocked silence as we digested this info. It was I who leaned forward and patted Bob's knee.
"Well...I'm glad to hear it Bob. You seemed more into girls but maybe that's just me." I shrugged leaning back against the couch. Bob's brows knit together before he realized what I meant.
"No, I'm not gay I meant I'm done with My Chemical Romance." He explained. This news shocked us considerably more than the false declaration of homosexuality had. We must have been a little slow on the uptake again because he impatiently said.
"I'm leaving the band. I'm done."
It took us all a few minutes to wrap our heads around Bob leaving. But once I thought about it for a few more minutes I could see this would have been inevitable. Bob just wasn't one for the lime light. It didn't help that he had joined the band just as we had made it into world-wide fame. Before the single "Helena." we had been an underground band. And if we had stayed that way it would have suited Bob perfectly. But what with four men who want to save people there was no way in hell we would underground for long. Our eagerness on our long tours had proven this true.
But I knew this wasn't the whole reason for Bob wanting to leave, there had to be more. Before I could voice my question Gerard beat me to it.
"Why else do you want to leave? It can't just be because of the fame." Apparently I wasn't the only one who had come to that conclusion. Bob grimaced making it clear that he didn't want to say what we asked him to. This time he chewed even more aggressively on his right lip ring till I'm worried he's gonna rip the thing right out. At long last Bob heaves a huge sigh and starts explaining himself.
"It's not only the fame. You're gonna call me a homophobic but I can't watch you and Gee make out anymore." At this point he holds up his hands to stop our protest. "It's not your guys fault I understand you're a couple. I....I just can't handle it for whatever reason. Maybe it scares me, maybe it grosses me out I dunno. But there's the second biggest reason. Please don't think I'm pushing you guys away, I'm not you guys are the best friends I've ever had. And the third reason is that I just want to be in a small time band and live a pretty quiet life." He finished looking at all of us in turn. Again we sat quietly each of us digesting the things he had just said.
As much as I would like to easily brush off Bob being grossed out by Gee and I's relationship I just can't quite do it. Mikey of course gets right down to business, as stoic as the stereotypical Finn.
"Are you going to finish touring with us?" he asks face clean of any emotion. Bob vigorously nods
"Of course! I'm not that much of an a**hole to drop out in the middle of a tour." He replies.
But enough of one to leave the band I thought somewhat bitterly. Looking at my cell I saw it was eleven pm. Abruptly getting to my feet I yawn and stretch before announcing that I was hitting the hay. Bob gazed at me with apologetic eyes sensing I was upset with his true feelings. In return I gave him a small half smile before heading to my bunk. Gerard went to bed an hour after, Mikey an hour after Gee and last of all was Ray.
So now it was two in the morning by the time the four of us where in our bunks. I sighed and gazed at the ceiling my roiling thoughts and feelings not letting me sleep. The soft shhh of the curtain alerted me to Bob's presence.
"I still love you Frankie, me leaving the band doesn't change that." Bob murmured before he leaned in and gave me a one arm hug. I heard the sound of the other curtains moving as Bob went to each of us and murmured words of comfort and consolation. When he had said his words Bob quietly go into his bunk and somehow even the sound of the curtains moving seem to be forlorn.
The hot tears of loss and acceptance gently stung my eyes as they slid down my temples, through my hair and into my ears. As if we had planned this Gerard, Mikey, Ray and I all croaked in our tears soaked voices.
"We love you Bob Bryar."
A moment passed and we all just barely hear the stifled sob of
"I love you guys too."