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A New Beginning (part 2)
The car pulled away, leaving me in the dust. As they drove off into the distance, that’s when it hit me. I could feel a tear rolling down my cheek. I wiped it with my hand, that’s when I realized that it had truly happened, I loved her more then anything. I couldn’t believe it had happened now that she had left. I could finally see her as more then a best friend, a child. I would no longer wanted to be the best friend. And now that she was gone, it felt as if she had taken half of me away with her. I felt a hole ripping itself into my chest. I couldn’t handle the burning pain and there was nothing I could do about it. She was gone, forever. I needed to find her. Did she feel the same way about me as I did about her? I had to know.
By the time we reached Alaska, my eyes had run dry, and they were puffy and sore. Every blink ached, and my lids were heavy, but I was afraid to close them, in fear of seeing his face. We pulled into a big house, and several vampires were awaiting our arrival.
I couldn’t move. My muscles throbbed in pain, and my breathing was shallow. I wrapped my fingers around the necklace and a fresh wave of pain sent shivers through me. My father opened my door and scooped me out of the car. I tried to keep my thoughts off of Jacob scared of my father realizing how I felt for Jake. In attempt I told him that I just missed him.
“You’ll adjust in no time. You just need a little distraction for the time being,” he whispered into my ear with a small grin growing on his face. I decided it was better not to say anything; afraid more tears would fall from my eyes.
He laid me on a couch and spread a blanket over me, muttering to someone that I would probably be hungry. Someone replied informing him there was no food in the house. Esme and Rosalie offered to go to the store. I stared at the couch cushions, facing away from everyone, pretending to be sleeping.
I must have fallen asleep, because it was dark out the next time I opened my eyes.
“Are you hungry?” I heard Alice’s voice.
“No,” I mumbled.
“You haven’t eaten all day.”
“I’m still not hungry,” I snapped. She didn’t push me anymore. I heard the low murmurs of conversation around me, but I didn’t try to make sense of them.
I laid there for a few minuets before someone grew aware that I was indeed awake. I heard them mention my name and then my mother walked over.
“Hey there sweetie,” she said softly. “How are you feeling? You’ve been sleeping for quite some time now.” My mother was always so warm and kind.
“Mmm,” I grumbled, not really having a response.
“You really should eat something,” she said softly, “Even if you aren’t hungry, it’s unhealthy to go so long without eating.”
“I’m fine,” I moaned rolling back over to face the back of the couch.
She sat down next to me on the couch and rubbed my back. “You know your father feels horrible for making you leave,” she said soothingly, “And so does everyone else.”
“No he doesn’t. If he did he wouldn’t have made us leave early.”
“Renesmee, you don’t really think that do you? You know he knows how much you didn’t want to leave, but we honestly couldn’t stay any longer.”
“He lied to me. He said we had two more days. I could have been figuring something out in that time.”
“Ness there was nothing for you to figure out. And he only decided to leave early because he felt you were unsafe with Jacob.”
“I wasn’t unsafe with Jake,” I protested.
“A clean break is always for the best,” she ignored me.
“We didn’t even get a real goodbye. And what about Grandpa Charlie? I didn’t get to say goodbye to him.” She was being unreasonable.
“I talked to him on the phone,” she replied, “I told him there was an emergency and he’s planning on visiting around Christmas, when we’re all settled in our new house. You can always use the phone, too. And that includes Jacob.”
“That’s not the same.”
“Sweetie I know, but there’s nothing we can do about it. We’re not going back to Forks anytime soon so you’ll just have to compromise with what we have here.”
I ignored her as new tears rolled down my cheeks. They stung the raw skin under my eyes from all my previous tears.
“I’m going to make you something to eat,” my mother said getting up. She patted my hair before heading towards the kitchen.
Once she walked away I pulled the blanket over my face. My heart throbbed for Jacob. I need to see him; I had to find a way out of here. I knew my family had the money to spear my expenses if I flew the coop. I just needed to do it at a time when my father wasn’t around. I stored my planes in the back of my head for later references when my mother walked back into the room with a plate of grilled cheese sandwiches.
I wasn’t in the mood to eat, but the smell triggered my stomach. I sat up weakly and held the plate on my lap. My jaws were sore as I chewed the food, but it felt good to be eating. I ate the sandwiches quickly and gulped down a glass of milk before pulling the blanket back over my head.
The day passed slowly as I didn’t move from the couch. I tried to ignore my father, but as the day came to a close he came over to me and stroked my hair before giving me a small goodnight kiss. I closed my eyes and drifted off into a dream.
The dream was peaceful. I was back home, in Forks. I was with Jake, and we were on our motorcycles, free. The dream turned painful as the goodbye scene replayed in my mind. More pain came as a new image came, Jacob now, without me. He was fine, having fun. He didn’t miss me, and clearly he didn’t feel the same way as I felt. I lurched awake, the never ending tears rolling down my face.
We had survived our first day in Alaska and Renesmee still hadn’t stopped crying. My thoughts turned to a few of Charlie’s old memories of Bella after I had left her. Surly things weren’t the same here, but I felt as if I was in Charlie’s position. I didn’t know what to do. But Renesmee didn’t love Jacob as Bella had loved me, they were only friends.
Still, it was painful to see Renesmee’s beautiful face coated with tears all the time. She hadn’t been her happy bubbly self in days, and I missed it. I hated watching her be so miserable all the time, knowing there was nothing I could do, we had to leave sometime.
As I watched her sleep, her innocence, I felt responsible for her pain. But Jacob was wrong to take her out on that motorcycle. Had he learned nothing from Bella? And Renesmee was not like Bella and I, she was fragile, and young for that matter. He clearly was not responsible enough to be taking care of my daughter. And as I told Bella, a clean break was the best thing for Renesmee.
But was it? Is it worth it, to watch Renesmee suffer through this pain and misery? Maybe there was another way to handle this situation. She rolled over uneasily in her sleep. The images unintentionally flooded my mind, as I saw her and Jacob on the motorcycles. I blocked out the dream, not wanting to know.
Could part of it be that I just didn’t want her to grow up? Was I being one of those parents who were unwilling to let their child go? But she is only five. Of all people to have such a fast growing child born to, she was born to vampires, to who time flies by even faster. Where years seem like days. But honestly, of all people, Jacob. Couldn’t he just stay away from our family? I looked at Renesmee again, seeing her beautiful face, and realized how it could be difficult for Jacob to stay away from her.
I left her room to find Bella deep in thought.
When Esme found a house for us to live in, I had to finally get off the couch. I walked over to the window unsteadily and looked out. Our entire family was helping move our things into the cars. We didn’t bring much. Esme wanted to redecorate.
I noticed my parents off to the side, talking I assumed. They weren’t looking at the house so they didn’t notice me. I knew I was fast enough so I went to get some money. I grabbed a few hundreds off the table and made a run for it. I went out through the back door, headed towards the woods in a mad dash. I hoped I was going in the right direction.
I was free. I sprinted through the woods at my top speed, hurrying to get away from my family. I wasn’t as graceful as the rest of my family, or as fast, but I was much better than the average human. I had only been running for ten minutes at the most before hard, cold arms wrapped around my waist, stopping me.
“Did you really think you stood a chance?” my father turned me to face him. He didn’t wait for me to answer out loud. “You do realize that you’re running North, don’t you?”
I didn’t say anything as I turned away from him. He grabbed my shoulder. “You’re not going to win,” he assured me. I sighed and turned back towards him. I wanted to yell at him, call him every name in the book. But I didn’t.
“Why?” he asked.
“You have to ask?”
“I guess not. I just thought you would have learned by now that you could never run away from me. Now hop on my back so I can carry you back.” I folded my arms across my chest. He was missing the point. He sighed and picked me up, carrying me as we flew through the woods, back to my family, not Jake.
I was a wreck. It had barely been twenty-four hours and I couldn’t take it any longer. I had to go find her. I knew she was in Alaska, but where in Alaska? Edward hadn’t told me anything, I was supposed to get a call from Renesmee, but my patient’s level was running low.
I told my dad goodbye and walked out the door. I found Seth on the edge of the woods. Once he noticed me he ran over asking what I was up to. I told him I was leaving to find Nessie, and for him to watch out for the pack while I was away. His eyes lit up with excitement.
I phased as soon as I was in the woods and ran North as fast as my legs would carry me. The thought of seeing Nessie only drove me faster. I reached Alaska in record time. I had remembered on the way that there was a clan in Denali.
I ran there and traced the area for a vampire scent. I found the house and traced a trail with Nessie’s and Edward’s scent. It was dark now, and I followed their trails up to a big, expensive looking house. I ignored it and followed their trails further up around a few cities. Finally, I traced them to a remote area that led up to a large, elaborate mansion, and outside was their trademarks, their cars. Lined in a row were a silver Volvo, a yellow Porsche, a red convertible, a big jeep, and a Mercedes. Relief flooded me as I realized this had to be them.
I phased back into a human behind a tree where no one would see me. I untied my clothes from around my ankle and put them on. As I walked up to the house to ring the door bell I tried to contain my excitement. Though I was excited I was afraid of their, hers in particular reactions. Would she want me to leave? Would she feel the same as I did for her? There was only one way to find out. I pressed the door bell and heard the chime throughout the house.