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A New Beginning
“We can’t leave!” I felt the anger roll off my shoulders as I shouted across the dining room table. Everyone was sitting in this heated debate on whether we have to flee from our home town Forks. Before anyone could say anything, I leaped from my chair and ungracefully stormed around the table to Carlisle. I pressed my hand to his cold face and showed him images of Jacob and me throughout my childhood, and how depressed I would be if I left him.
“Renesmee, I know how you feel towards leaving Jacob, but our family has been stationary for too long. People are beginning to notice our lack of aging. We need to move in order to keep what we are a secret,” Carlisle stated.
“Not just Jacob,” I whined even though it was the biggest reason, “There’s still Grandpa Charlie. We can’t just leave him.”
“Nessie, you knew we would have to leave eventually,” Esme said quietly, her topaz eyes warm with understanding.
Well before he entered the room my family looked toward the door. “Oh great, Jacob’s here.” Edward stated the obvious. Seconds later Jacob walked through the arched doorway. He took in the tense scene and asked what was going on.
“They’re making us leave,” I whined as angry tears fell from my face.
“Why?” Jake scowled towards my father in general, “Can’t you last a few more years?”
My father closed his eyes, calming himself I assumed, “No Jacob, we can’t. Perhaps your undersized mind has forgotten how many years we’ve been here already, without aging.”
Jake opened his mouth and then closed it again. “Well Renesmee can stay here with me,” he said after a while, “I can take care of her.”
“I wouldn’t trust you with a gold fish let alone my daughter.” Edward stood up, flashing his muscles threateningly.
“Hold on Edward, lets just think about this for a moment.” My mother said grabbing his arm, pulling him to sit down again. His eyes didn’t leave Jacob.
“Ok everyone just calm down,” Carlisle said standing up, his tone even, “We’ll finish out the month, just until we figure out how we are going to handle this situation, but that’s the limit,” he glanced at me, as did everyone else. “That’s final,” he added with authority.
I could sense Jasper putting things into a calmer atmosphere. I stormed out of the big house upset with my family, pulling Jacob along with me.
As Renesmee pulled me along, I felt the familiar worry come back. It didn’t feel special, just two friends holding hands. It had been five years since Renesmee had been born and her growing had almost come to a complete stop. I was getting worried that I had imprinted wrong. She strictly felt like my best friend rather then my soul mate. She resembled a 16 year old human. Though she was beautiful with her long bronze curls, deep chocolate eyes, and her unique personality, I couldn’t get myself to feel the way I should.
Finally she slumped down onto a log, dropping my hand as she put her head in both her hands. I sat next to her and put my arm around her, but she didn’t look up for a long time. When she finally did, her eyes were red and puffy, and her precious face was tearstained. “Jake,” she sniffed, “What are we going to do? I can’t just pack up my things and leave you here. You’re my best friend.”
I didn’t know what to say to her, she looked so frustrated with the situation. I had no answer. There were only 3 options. One was to let her leave with her family while I stay here, alone, knowing she would be in good hands but missing her none the less. Option two was to go with her. The only problem with that was leaving Billy and the pack. The pack would have no alpha and I couldn’t allow them to leave their families. Billy was getting to that age were he needed me through out the day with help. Option three had to work. She would stay here in Forks with me. If I could just convince Edward and Bella to allow it, I’m sure the others wouldn’t have a problem with it. They could always visit.
“Ness, I don’t know. I don’t want you to leave either. If only I could convince your parents that you would be safe here…” I drifted off in thought mid sentence.
“They know I would be safe here,” she sobbed, “My dad just hates you. No offense.”
“No, I know,” I sighed. “I wish he didn’t, it would make things a lot easier.”
“Well I’m not a kid anymore,” she sniffed again, “I’m five and I can do what I want. I’ll stay here, he can’t tell me what to do.”
She seemed so confident with herself. If only it were that easy. “Well then, I guess we’ll just have to convince your dad then. Maybe if we act like responsible adults Bella will believe it. Then Edward will have to give in to her.”
“We don’t need to convince them of anything,” she said stubbornly, standing up, “I’m going to do what I want.”
“Dad!” I yelled as I burst through the door of our cottage. He came into the living room, followed by my mother, “I’m staying in Forks with Jacob whether you like it or not!” His expression didn’t change. “And I’m serious! I am not leaving this town!” He folded his arms across his chest. “You can’t make me! I’m five whole years old! And if you don’t like it, well you can just deal with it!”
“Are you finished?” he asked sounding bored.
“No, I’m not! I’m not leaving! Just because you haven’t aged doesn’t mean the rest of us haven’t. Well I mean besides me and Jake. I’ve got news for you mister! The world doesn’t revolve around you! Just who do you think you are exactly? I’d like to know what makes you think you’re so important that you can just go around telling people to pick up and relocate their lives! You need to go get a life Mr. Egocentric.”
“Now are you done?” he sighed.
“No,” I said as I sent him multiple strongly worded messages through my thoughts. His eyes flashed at the last one.
“Renesmee Carlie Cullen, you do not speak to your father that way.” My mother hissed.
“I’m not as much worried about the verbal use as I am her thoughts.” He said to my mother. Bella looked at him confused, missing the silent conversation. I secretly grinned at my parents while they argued about my behavior.
“Renesmee you’re not staying here and that’s final,” my father said turning back to me finally.
“But why not?” I asked, “Don’t even say I won’t be safe because we all know it’s a lie.”
He hesitated, looking at my mother. After a short moment he finally said, “You are a part of this family and this family is staying together. You will not split this family apart. Besides that fact, don’t you understand how much it will hurt your mother if you leave?” He played the guilt card. Anger flooded my cheeks. Two could play that game.
“Well maybe I don’t want to be a part of this family,” I snapped. I left the room with out giving them a chance to respond. I knew what my father said was true about hurting my mother but I couldn’t leave Jake either.
“Doing what I want isn’t working,” I mumbled as I stormed across the lawn past Jake.
“I told you so,” he grumbled keeping up easily with me. “Let’s just go to the beach,” he suggested. I didn’t say anything; I just followed behind him dragging my feet.
We reached the beach quickly, him carrying me on his back as he ran. He set me down once we were on the rocks. It was silent as we walked down the beach, finally reaching a driftwood tree that could be used as a bench.
“We’ll figure it out,” he said as he sat down, trying to cheer me up. I still didn’t speak as I sat next to him.
We sat there on the driftwood peacefully for awhile, eventually the sun began to set and I started to get up.
“Where are you going,” Jake asked.
“Home, I guess,” I shrugged. I was tired from crying, something I rarely did. “I should probably apologize to my mother. And my dad. Not that I really want to.”
“I’ll carry you,” he sighed getting up.
“No, it’s fine. I can walk, it’s not that far. Besides I just think I’m going to hit the sack.” I mumbled.
“I didn’t mean I didn’t want to carry you,” the corner of his lip turned up, “I just didn’t want you to leave. It’s ok, I don’t mind.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course,” he smiled scooping me up.
“Well tell me if you do start to mind,” I said settling against his warm chest for the ride.
“Sure, sure,” he muttered. He dropped me off in front of my cottage, carefully setting me on the grass. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said smiling, “Don’t get too worked up.” I hugged him goodbye and moved quietly through the cottage into my room, though I knew it was a lost attempt between my parents’ hearing and my father’s special ability.
I was in my pajamas and in bed with the covers over my head when I heard the knock. “Can I come in?” my father’s voice said quietly. Go away, I thought. He came in anyways. I didn’t hear his footsteps before I felt him sit on the end of my bed.
“Renesmee,” he sighed, “I know you hate it, but really do have to leave soon.” I didn’t reply. “It’s just that we aren’t aging. And I know you’ll be unhappy but I really do believe that after we settle you will adjust. We can always come back in a few decades.”
I threw the blanket off my head to glare at him. “You don’t understand,” I hissed, “You never left Mom. You never had to deal with that sort of thing!”
An expression I couldn’t identify crossed his face, pain maybe? “That’s beside the point,” he grumbled. “Look, we’re leaving Forks in three days. We’re going to Alaska and I don’t want any problems with you,” he said seriously, “We all understand you will be upset, but that doesn’t give you an excuse to be disrespectful. And we are only doing this because we have to,” he added answering my thoughts.
“But Dad,” I began to object but I knew I would only lose the argument.
“Yes you would,” he answered my thoughts with I smile on his face. His eyes softened, “If I could change it I would. But I can’t. We just can’t stay in one place too long. I’m sorry Renesmee.”
“We don’t have to leave,” I begged, “We can just stay in the house, away from Forks. Jacob could visit, and Grandpa Charlie could too. Nobody has to work, we don’t need the money.”
“But would you really want to make the rest of the family miserable by locking them up in the house?” he asked softly, knowing my answer.
“They can go where ever they want. Rosalie and Emmet can have another honeymoon. Carlisle and Esme can enjoy some alone time. Alice and Jasper can do what ever they prefer. They don’t need to be in the house, there are plenty of other countries out there that they can visit,” I explained.
“Renesmee, we’re all leaving in three days and that is final.” After he finished his statement he left my bedroom leaving me alone. I laid there on my bed, trying to come up with some way for things to be different. But no matter what, I didn’t see anything working out to my advantage. I was leaving Forks in three days…
“Three days? That’s it?” Jake scowled.
“More like two and a half now,” I kicked a rock up the beach.
“They can’t just do that. There has to be a way.”
“If there was one of us would have thought of it by now,” I pointed out.
“Do you even know where you’re going? Maybe I could visit you everyday,” he asked hopefully.
“Jake you can’t come to Alaska everyday,” I sighed, “And you have Billy and the pack to worry about.” I felt my eyes well up at the thought of not seeing him everyday.
“Look we’re going to make these next few days our best ok?” I could tell he was just trying to cheer me up, “And we’ll figure it out later. But let’s not spend these last days worrying and being sad ok? Because if…well I don’t want to remember you looking so sad.”
I nodded and leaned against him. He was probably about a foot and a half taller than me. “What should we do?” I asked.
He looked out onto the water. His eyes brightened suddenly, and he smiled. “I have an idea,” he pulled me back up the beach towards his house.
“So you just want to ease off the clutch and you’ll be fine,” he finished explaining as he held the back of the motorcycle up for me.
“Like this?” I attempted to do as he had explained.
“Perfect,” he said with the smile that I loved to see on his face. “Ok, now I’m going to let go of you then you need to press the clutch.”
I pressed the clutch and sped away from him at an alarming rate. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, I rather enjoyed the speed. It reminded me of when my father would lift my on his shoulders and run when I was younger.
I kept going down the road, surprised when he caught up to me on his own black motorcycle. I looked over at him, only to see him point ahead frantically for me to keep my eyes on the road. We reached a curve, and I easily turned while Jacob caught up with me. Eventually we reached the end of the road and I slowed down easily to a stop.
“Perfect,” he smiled jumping off his own motorcycle and running over to me, “You’re good for a girl.” I laughed, afraid to move incase I tipped over. Jake held the motorcycle up for me so I could jump off.
“That was amazing,” I beamed as I hugged him, “Can we go again?”
“Sure, sure,” he laughed.
We continued to ride the motorcycles up and down the road all day long. After it began to get dark we went to the beach to sit on our new hang out place; the piece of driftwood. We sat there and laughed about the day.
“We should get you home,” he said reluctantly once the sun had set.
“I guess we should,” I sighed as I stood up. He crouched down and I pulled myself onto his back. I leaned my head on his shoulder as we raced through the trees.
When we arrived at the cottage my parents stood at the door waiting for us. I said my goodbyes to Jacob, excited to see him tomorrow.
“So how was your day?” My mother asked sincerely.
“Good, Jacob and I hung out around La Push.”
“What did you two do?” My father finally entered the conversation.
“Nothing really.” As soon as I said it I thought of the motorcycles.
My fathers face lit up with rage. He was mad, definitely mad. “He taught you how to ride a motorcycle!”
Our secret was out, he knew. There was no way I could lie to his face; I was going to pay for this one. “Yes,” I said shyly, afraid of his reaction.
The expression that crossed his face had me cowardly hiding behind my mother. He didn’t speak for a long time which was even worse. My mother left me to go stand next to him.
“I’m sorry,” it was barely audible, “I didn’t know you would get mad. It wasn’t a big deal nothing happened.”
“It was a very big deal!” he hissed, his eyes flashing to my mother, “You could have been hurt!”
“But I wasn’t,” I whispered, “And I was good at it. I liked it.” This only made things worse.
“Maybe two days isn’t soon enough,” he snarled, “We need to get you away from him. He’s dangerous.”
“Edward…” my mother grabbed his arm. She looked him in the eye.
My father sighed, looking back at me. “Excuse me, I need to speak with Carlisle.” He stormed off into the woods leaving to find Carlisle.
My mother looked over in my direction, not sure of what to do. “I know how you feel,” was all she said then walked away, following him. I stood alone for a minute before rushing to my room and slamming the door. I sat on the bed and crossed my arms across my chest. The angry tears were starting to become familiar.
I was beginning to wonder what was going on between my parents. What could my mom possible mean by ‘I know how you feel’? My father couldn’t of possible be as protective over her as me; she can take care of herself. And then that look my father gave her after the motorcycle thing. What was that about?
A soft knock interrupted my thoughts. “Go away!” I yelled at the door. It opened anyway, and I was surprised to see my Aunt Rosalie entered.
“Can we talk?” she asked softly entering the room.
“Sure,” was all I said, this was an unexpected surprise.
“I just wanted to let you know that we are all leaving in the morning. Edward would have told you except I volunteered. He has enough anger management problems that we don’t need him to combust.”
“B-but he said. He said we had three more days,” the tears poured out faster, “I can’t leave Jake.” She pulled me onto her cold hard lap and held me there while I cried.
“I told him,” she muttered to herself. We stayed like that for a long time, her cold fingers rubbing my back. “Stupid dog, if it weren’t for him we wouldn’t be having this issue.” I wasn’t sure if that’s exactly what she said because eventually, the crying tired me out enough to fall asleep.
I woke up the next morning with tearstained eyes. I felt something cold against my back and looked up to see my mother lying next to me, rubbing my back.
“I’m sorry honey did I wake you?” I shook my head, the tears coming back. “Shhh,” she said stroking my hair, “It’ll be fine. Your father and I packed for you last night.”
I looked towards the door as my father appeared in it. “Jacob’s here,” he informed me solemnly, “You should go say your goodbyes.”
Weakly, I pushed the covers off and shuffled out to the living room. I wiped my eyes the best I could, but new tears only replaced them.
“Ness,” Jake muttered hurrying towards me. He wrapped his warm arms around me. The smiling face I loved was gone. I tried not to get tears on his shirt but I was unsuccessful. “I’ll visit you as soon as I can,” he promised into my ear.
We stayed like that for a long time before my father showed up. “It’s time to go,” he said sternly. I held Jake extra tight before I let him go. He held my hand the whole way to the car and hugged me again before I got in. “I’ll miss you,” he whispered, wrapping a chain around my neck. I looked down to see a small silver “R” on the chain, right next to a silver “J”. I wrapped my arms around his neck one last time before the door closed, the lump in my throat too big to speak.
Fresh tears rolled down my cheeks. As soon as he disappeared around the corner I felt it. My chest felt constricted, like something was pressing on it; it was hard to breath. I didn’t want anything in the world more than I just wanted to be with Jake. Frustration accompanied the love I felt. Jake was my best friend. It would ruin things if I felt this way about him. And of course, he would never feel this way about me. It was probably just some teenage crush. But it had come on so suddenly, so strong. All the muscles in my body felt weak, useless, as I slumped down in the backseat of Alice’s yellow Porsche. I tried to talk myself out of it as the tears flooded. It was probably just because I was missing him already. And I didn’t even believe in love at such a young age. But I was sure of it, if nothing else, that I loved him. And we had just left him.