Ludwig's Band Geeks | Teen Ink

Ludwig's Band Geeks

April 9, 2019
By 14848 BRONZE, Millis, Massachusetts
14848 BRONZE, Millis, Massachusetts
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

It was an ordinary day in Smashville.  That is, until the quiet atmosphere became plagued by a horrible sound.  It turns out that said abysmal sound was coming from the Smash Mansion, specifically one of the Koopalings, Fighter 58H, Ludwig von Koopa, playing his clarinet, as said before, horribly.  Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and he opened it to reveal Fighter 18, Dr Mario (who was a cousin of the famous Mario Brothers, explaining the resemblance and surname).

"Yeah, uh... we're with the pet a-hospital down the street and I understand-a you have a dying animal on the premises."

Ludwig slammed the door after this remark, and then his cell phone rang, which he answered.

"Hello, you've reached the house of unrecognized talent.  Please start after the--" Another horrendous note.

"Sounds as though you've got a dying animal to attend to, eh old chum?" coming from a voice all too familiar to the oldest Koopaling, causing the latter to gasp.

"William Koopington from band class?!"

"I hear you're playing the cash register now."

"Er, sometimes.  Uh... how's the unibrow?"

"It's big and valuable.  I'm the leader of a big fancy band now, and we're supposed to play the Toadstool Bowl next week."

Ludwig was shocked by this, "The To-to-to... the To-to-to... the To-to-to..."

"That's right!  I'm living your dream, Ludwig.  The problem is, I'm busy next week, and can't make it.  So I was hoping you and your band could cover for us."

This made Ludwig stammer nervously, "Ohh, uhh, I, I-I-I, uhh..." causing William to scoff, "I knew it!  You don't even have a band.  Well, I'll just let you get back to the service industry now."

"HOLD IT!  It just so happens that I DON'T sell fast food, I DO have a band, and we're gonna play that Toadstool Bowl.  How do you like that, fancy boy?"

"Good luck next Tuesday.  I hope the audience brings lots of..." he then whispered, "Ibuprofen," before proceeding to hang up.

"I've got to drum up a marching band fast!" Ludwig stopped to laugh at his own joke, "Drum... haha... band humor."

 


Cut to Fighter 13ε, Daisy, walking down the street when she saw a poster and read it, "Looking to add fulfillment to your dull, dull life?" The next reader was Fighter 04ε, Dark Samus, "Then become part of the greatest musical sensation ever to hit Smashville," then Fighter 63, Bayonetta, "And be forever adored by thousands of people you don't know," then Fighter 30, Wario, using the restroom (let's hope he at least washes his hands), "Not to mention, free refreshments!" Last but not least, Fighter 60, Ryu, "Practice begins tonight, 8:30 sharp."

Cut to Ludwig, driving his signature blue Clown Car, while his wristwatch read 8:36 PM, "Stupid music rental clerk made me late.  That Monty Mole didn't know an oboe from an elbow.  Heh, elbow, heh.  More band humor."  He entered the auditorium, where the members he gathered, which included the 5 Fighters who were seen reading his poster, as well as Fighter 28, Pit, and Fighter 68, Isabelle.  All of them were saying "Blah blah blah" while being seated with their instruments, to which Ludwig stepped to the front and raised a claw, "People, people, settle down," making the entire room go silent.  "Okay now, how many of you have played musical instruments before?"  Fighters 22, Young Link, 43, Toon Link, 45A, Villager (aka Mayor Andy) and 68, Isabelle, raised their hands as a yes.

"Do Phazon instruments of torture count?" Dark Samus asked.

Ludwig replied, "No."

"Is mayonnaise an instrument?" Pit asked, earning a confused look from Daisy.

Ludwig replied, this time with a deadpan expression, "No Pit, mayonnaise is not an instrument."  Pit raised his hand again, "Floor ice cream is not an instrument either," and lowered it again. "That's fine.  Most of you lack experience.  Fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you." Ludwig laughed at his joke while everyone else just stayed silent.

"When do we get the free food?" Wario broke the silence.

"Okay, try to repeat after me," Ludwig blew a few notes on his clarinet, "Brass section, go!" The brass section, which consisted of Fighters 64F, Specs, 03, Link, and 47A, Mrs. Wii Fit Trainer, repeated the notes. "Good.  Now the wind!" The wind section, which was Fighters 10, Ness, 40A, Olimar, and 66ε, Richter, repeated the same notes, though a bit more poorly.  "And the drums!" The drummers, Isabelle with Fighters 06, Kirby, and 25, Roy, didn't understand this request and blew on their sticks instead of banging them on the actual drums, causing the sticks to fly out of their mouths and pin Ludwig to the wall. "Too bad that didn't kill me," he once again deadpanned.

 


"Let's just try stepping in rhythm," Ludwig was now holding a baton, "Now, I want everyone to stand in straight rows of five."

Isabelle got up excitedly, "Is this the part where we start kicking?"

"No, Isabelle, that's a chorus line."

Pit got up out of his seat, "Kicking?  Oh, I wanna do some kicking!" He proceeded to accidentally kick Daisy in the back of her shin, "Why, you... Why I oughta!" She tackled the angel and the dust cloud they were in went outside as the door slammed behind them.  Everyone else then heard a scream from Pit, causing a long awkward silence, until the angel poked his head out of the door, "Whoever's the owner of the white Sedan, you left your lights on." He then walked into the building, revealing that Daisy managed to stuff his head into his trombone.  The notes came out as he walked and when he sat down, a long note played from his mouth.

 


Day Two

 


The band was marching the streets and playing badly while Ludwig was leading them, "Okay, that's perfect, everybody!  Toadstool Bowl here we come!  Flag twirlers, really spin those things.  Okay, turn!  Flag twirlers, let's go!  I wanna see some spinning!" The flag twirlers, Gamma from Sonic Adventure and Claus from Mother 3, were twirling their flags faster, yet Ludwig continued to bark at them, "Flag twirlers, let's move!  C'mon, move!" Gamma and Claus were twirling even faster, and they started to fly into the air and then crashed into a blimp with a huge explosion.  While Ludwig lay on the floor in fetal position, Fighter 31, Snake, played Taps and the other band members put their hands on their chests in respect.

 


Day Three

 


"How's that harmonica solo coming, Olimar?" Ludwig asked.

"It's great! You wanna see?" The Hocatatian captain turned to his Pikmin trio, being the iconic Red, Blue and Yellow, "Ready guys?" The Pikmin saluted, and proceeded to run back and forth blowing notes into the harmonica, but they ran out of breath and collapsed from exhaustion.

"On second thought, I really should've asked them to divide and conquer the notes," Olimar reflected as Ludwig facepalmed.

 


Day Four

 


"Well, this is our last night together before the show," Ludwig announced to the band, "and I know that you haven't improved since we began..." As if on cue, Pit was licking ice cream out of a trumpet, "but I have a theory.  People talk loud when they wanna act smart and/or be heard, right?"

Proving his point, Dark Samus proceeded to yell out, "Correct!"

"So if we play loud, people might think we're good.  Everybody ready?" They got their instruments ready, "And a one, and a two, and a one two three four!" When everyone played, the windows shattered, the glass shook, and Ludwig’s hair was all over the place, while his baton snapped in two. "Okay, new theory.  Maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us."

Fighter 20, Falco, got impatient, "Well maybe we wouldn't sound so bad if SOME people didn't try to play with big meaty palms!"

This got Wario's attention, "What did you say, punk?"

"Big.  Meaty.  PALMS!"

Now Wario was mad, "Well, these palms ain't for just making microgames!"

"Bring it on, fart man!  Bring it on!"

Isabelle proceeded to break up the infighting, "No people, let's be smart and bring it off."

"Oh-ho," Fighter 58D, Wendy, angrily retorted, "so now the talking cash bag is gonna preach to us."

Ludwig tried to calm them down, "Wait, wait! I know tensions are high..." Everyone got into a huge fight.  Fighters 69, Incineroar, and 14, Bowser, began yelling at each other, when Fighter 11, Captain Falcon, slammed his drum on the former. "There's a deposit on that equipment people!" Falco and Wario charged at one another with large woodwinds, then came to a screeching halt when Bayonetta slammed both of them with her cymbals. "Settle down, please!" The next pair of band members in the fight were Daisy and Fighter 60ε, Ken, the latter tried to defend himself with a xylophone, but Daisy knocked the keys off with drumsticks, causing Ken to run away.  Pit kicked Daisy again, this time on purpose, causing the Sarasaland princess to growl and pull out another trombone.  Pit knew what was coming next, and ran away screaming in horror as Daisy chased him.  The clock on the wall stuck 10:00 PM, and everyone suddenly stopped fighting.

"Hey, class is over," Ken said, as the others started to walk towards the door, before it opened and Ludwig stood in the front. "Well, you did it.  You took my one chance at happiness, and crushed it.  Crushed it into little, tiny, bite-sized pieces," he looked at everyone in shame, "I really had expected better of you people.  I guess I'm a loser for that too," a tear ran down his cheek, "Don't bother showing up tomorrow.  I'll just tell them you all died in a marching accident," he turned around and began to walk away, "So thanks.  Thanks for nothing."

"You're welcome," Pit said obliviously.  Isabelle however knew the mistake she and everyone else made. "What kind of monsters are we?  That poor Koopa came to us in his hour of need, and we failed him.  Ludwig's always been there for us when it was convenient for him." She pointed to Fighter 56B, Robin, "Miss Robin, when little Pichu was trapped in a fire, who helped us rescue it?" Robin replied, "A Pokémon Ranger." Next Isabelle pointed at Ryu, "And Mr Ryu, when your heart gave out from all that turkey, who revived you?" He responded, "Some guy in an ambulance." This made Isabelle smile, "Right!  So if we all could just pretend that Ludwig was a Pokémon Ranger or some guy in an ambulance, then I'm sure we could all pull together and discover what it truly means to be in a marching band."

Falco yelled out, "Yeah, for the Pokémon Ranger," and everyone cheered. 

"Now let's make Ludwig proud!" Isabelle stood in front to lead the band. "A one, a two, a skiddly diddly doo."

 


It was the day of the concert, and Ludwig was walking to the Toadstool Bowl in sadness. "I knew this was going to happen.  They're just gonna have to find another band to play.  I just hope that..." The very Koopa he was dreading stood in the entrance, "...WILLIAM DOESN'T FIND OUT!  WILLIAM!" Ludwig screamed in horror, "What are you doing here?!"

William laughed and poked Ludwig in the stomach, "I just wanted to watch you blow it.  So, where's your band?"

Ludwig replied nervously, "Um... they couldn't come.  They... died."

"Then who's that?" William pointed and behind them was Ludwig's band, causing Ludwig to scream, "THAT WOULD BE MY BAND!!"

Isabelle encouraged him, "We're ready to perform, Ludwig!"

William chuckled smugly, "Well, Luddy, this is exactly how I pictured your band would look." Isabelle did a little dance.

"That's her... eager face." William laughed again as Ludwig and the band entered the stadium. "I guess this'll be the last time I can show my face in this town."

"That's the spirit, Ludwig!" Isabelle said as the Toadstool Bowl raised into a live action shot of a football field.

"Okay, football fans," the announcer said to the audience, "put your hands together for the Smashville Super Band!" A crowd of live action humans cheered as the Bowl ascended into the field.

Pit noticed that the audience looked different, "These are some ugly looking characters."

"Maybe we're in one of those places made by Epic Games," Isabelle added.

This made Wario queasy, "I think I'mma gonna be sick!"

"Okay, everybody," Ludwig looked at William, who had a smug grin on his face, "let's get this over with.  One... two... three... four..." Ludwig was expecting the worst, and the band started with an intro of fanfare, followed by Dark Samus playing the beginning of their song on keyboard while a lone spotlight shone on Isabelle as she began to sing.

"♪Colors weave into a spire of flame,

Distant sparks call to a past still unnamed,

Bear this torch against the cold of the night,

Search your soul and reawaken the undying light!♪"

Ludwig watched in awe as he saw Pit, who was wearing crazy sunglasses, play the drums amazingly and a big spotlight shone as the others started playing their instruments,

"♪On that day, when the sky fell away,

Our world came to an end,

In our eyes, did a fading sunrise in the dark,

Glimmering shadows,

Silence grows, in the spaces between,

Stretching out beyond time♪"

As the song was going on, Ludwig looked back at William, who also had a look of shock on his face, making Ludwig smirk and throw away his baton.

"♪Rising up, as a chorus of souls find a voice,

Flickering through the void,

These little sparks cling onto life,

Everyone caught in the struggle,

And then the storms of change,

They fan the flames,

Scattering ashes to the wind!

Every soul contains a whisper of light,

Gleaming faintly as it dwindles from sight♪"

The song kept playing, and the people waved lights back and forth.  William put his hand over his chest and fainted, as a group of paramedics took him away on a stretcher, while Ludwig waved goodbye to his rival and ran to the stage as pyrotechnics went off.

"♪No escape, no greater fate to be made,

In the end, the chains of time will not break

Colors weave into a spire of flame,

Distant sparks call to a past still unnamed♪"

Bayonetta and Pit were seen rocking on their guitar and drums respectively as Ludwig dances, and the last shot is him jumping for joy as the song goes on.

"♪Bear this torch against the cold of the night,

Search your soul and reawaken the undying light!♪"


The author's comments:

This piece is based on the famous SpongeBob Squarepants episode, "Band Geeks", with Ludwig von Koopa from the Super Mario series taking on the role of Squidward, a character I created called William Koopington as Squilliam, Isabelle from Animal Crossing as SpongeBob, Pit from Kid Icarus as Patrick, Bayonetta from the series of the same name as Mrs Puff, Daisy from Super Mario as Sandy, Wario from Super Mario and the WarioWare side series as Mr Krabs, and Dark Samus from Metroid (and in one scene, Olimar from Pikmin) as Plankton, if we're focusing on the more major characters.  It was made as a tribute to the source series' late creator, Stephen Hillenburg, and first published to the Smash Bros Amino for the last day before the release of Super Smash Bros Ultimate.


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