Stream of Consciousness- Conversation with the World | Teen Ink

Stream of Consciousness- Conversation with the World

January 11, 2018
By mcfeeney GOLD, Auburn, New York
mcfeeney GOLD, Auburn, New York
11 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"A writer is a sum of their experiences" -Flannery O' Connor


“I guess, I’m just having a hard time understanding you. You see, I have been inhabiting you along with about 8 other billion people, and sometimes I just stop and think, what is this all for? So, I guess my general question for you, world, is, what is not only my purpose, but what is everyone’s purpose in being on your world?,” I ask eagerly.
We are both sitting patentinely in a conference room, but the walls have seemed to disappear, and suddenly the only thing I can see is my reflection in the world’s eyes. I can hear my heart pounding in my ears; this is the moment I have been waiting to have with the world. It’s finally come to the day. The day where all my questions are answered. I ask him my question and then wait patiently for a reply.
He takes a deep breath, “I feel the only way to truly show you the purpose we all have in my world, is to take you on an adventure,” gently holding his hand out for me to grasp.
I glare at his aged hand, laying there limply waiting for me to catch ahold of. A million questions flash through my mind that I’m hoping he can answer. I was only expecting a conversation, but an adventure? Without hesitation I grab ahold of his hand and wait for what's to come next.
“Now, before we begin, I just have one question for you,” he says with stren eyes.
“Yes?,” I just about jump out of my seat with excitement.
“What I am about to show you, is the key to my world, no one else has seen this, I am showing you this only to show you, your purpose. You have to promise me, never to share what I show you today with anyone else,” he spoke with a voice that could stop anyone in their tracks.
“I promise you,” holding out my pinky finger, so he knows it’s a true promise.
This promise slightly scared me. Was I truly ready to discover our purpose in this world? I was slightly hesitant, but I knew one thing, this was my one and only chance to figure it out. It’s now or never.
“Okay, then, here we go,” he shouted.
I clenched my eyes shut at the brightness of what was happening. It was as if we were blasting into a moment, a specific moment in time. I felt a rush of adrenaline and something else, I had never felt before run through my entire body. It was the feeling of traveling, but it was more than just basic traveling. I would soon learn, that the strange feeling I was experiencing was time traveling.
“You can open your eyes now,” he said gently.
I gulped and cracked open my eyes to a sight that seemed oddly familiar to me. It smelt bitter sweet. I looked up at the world and questioned why he had brought me here.
“Why have you brought me here?,” I questioned.
“You asked me to show you your purpose in my world. There are three moments that have already occurred in your life that will show you your purpose in this world. This moment, in particular, is very special to you. There are three L’s that make up a person's purpose in the world. This is where you first experienced love, the first L,” he spoke with such intensity.
I listened to him and watched as the nurse brought me, an infant then, snuggled warm in a pink blanket and cap that the hospital had supplied me with. I watched as she slid me into my mother's arms for the first time, and I couldn’t have remembered it, but in this moment I saw the look on my parents faces that brought me a warm, cozy feeling. It was love. The world had shown me my first purpose in this world, to spread the love that my parents had supplied me with.
“I understand now. Thank you, I am ready for the next moment,” I looked at him and smiled.
Then suddenly, we were blasting through time again, and I felt that same traveling feeling I had felt before, but this time it was different. It wasn’t as intense and I felt this oddly familiar feeling. It felt like sadness.
“Here we are,” he said with gratitude.
I opened my eyes to a sight that I dreaded remembering. I was twelve when it happened, and here I was standing in a graveyard, dressed in black, kneeling next to my grandfather’s casket. I breathed in hard and tried to exhale the gut wrenching feeling of loss. Holding back tears, I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder.
“This is a very important lesson, that I’m sorry you had to learn at such a young age, but it’s inevitable. This is the second L, loss. I know that this may seem odd, in your grandfather's death being your purpose in life, but it is so much more than that. With losing someone comes an appreciation for the others around you. Losing someone important to you, makes you grow as a person, and gives you purpose,” he expressed.
I watch the scene of my grandfather’s funeral unfold as I listen to the world’s words ringing in my ear. I watch the rest on the memory with a smile on my face as I realize the importance of my grandfather’s life and the importance in my life and making him proud. I turn away from the memory and face the world.
“I’m ready to learn the final L,” I exclaim.
At the end of my sentence, we return again to the traveling feeling, it has gotten more and more bearable with every memory. I am excited to learn the final L in what the world is trying to show me. I feel the adrenaline rise up my stomach and I open my eyes to a  fairly recent memory.
“I have brought you here to just a year ago, on your 16th birthday. Here you are experiencing the first L, love, from your friends and family, and here is where you appreciate the final L, laughter,” he proclaimed.
I watched the memory and felt like it had happened only yesterday. We were all sitting in my living room laughing and eating dinner together. I had laughed harder than I ever had before that night with my friends and family. I think I finally understand where the world is going with this whole three L’s concept. I turned to look at the world and suddenly there was nothing but darkness. I tried to turn back a watch the memory again, but it had vanished. I clenched my eyes shut and opened them again to be seated in my bed.
“World? Where have you gone? Please come back you haven’t answered all my questions yet,” I shouted into the empty darkness of my room.
After about 20 minutes of contemplating on whether or not I had dreamed up the conversation with the world or if it was merely just a dream, I came to the consencince that the universe was trying to answer my questions for me. He had brought me on a trip down memory lane to show me what our purpose in the world is. He showed me that we as humans all have three things in common. We all love, we all lose, and we all laugh from time to time, and this is what intertwines us into the category of humans. The world showed me that we may all have different paths in our lives, but we are all stemmed together through loving, losing, and laughing with each other and as long as we have those three things, we have purpose.



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