Red in Shades

February 20, 2017
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Left foot. Right foot. Left foot. Right foot. I walk the road to school carefully, my eyes sweeping the road and the weight on my shoulders not just from my backpack. I stop suddenly, hearing the familiar hum that plagues my thoughts on these lonely treks. A sleek, ruby colored maserati speeds past, faster than the wind. The orange and yellow leaves swirl up in it’s wake and fall back down into the street. I sigh slightly and continue on my long and lonely walk.

His arm swept across my shoulders. Our had love happened as fast as his car could drive. Every touch was like fire, every kiss longed for a thousand more. He led me to the edge of the building and I leaned over the edge cautiously. I gripped onto the carmine harness tighter. “You ready?” He asked, winking at me. I turned to face him but I found that I was already hurtling toward the ground. “I wanna stop it!” I yelled up at him, and his blue eyes flashed with happiness. Too bad it also stopped as quick as his car could.

The world looks grey to me these days, and there is a lone ache in my heart that won't go away. The leaves are already going from vivid oranges to dull browns, and the blue sky is blanketed in dreary clouds. I settle down in the hallway carefully and pull out an old crossword puzzle. 3 down 7 across, ‘trying to change your mind when it’s already too late.’ I can’t think of an answer, so I look down at my phone and Google it. I find nothing, write ‘NO ANSWER’ on the paper in scarlet ink, and chuck it down the hallway. The bell rings and it’s crushed under thousands of feet.

His eyes swept across the courtyard. For a second I thought he was heading toward me, but he stopped next to a girl wearing a vermilion shirt and put his arm around her waist. The world slowed down, and my vision blurred. My friend next to me leaned in. “I think I’m in love.” She was swooning over a guy a couple feet away. I just nodded and watched him pull her away. His brown hair ruffled in the breeze and all I could think about was how I used to run my hands through it. They got into his car and sped off. “Love is stupid.” I told my friend coldly, and walked away.

My ipod’s song changes from New Romantics to my old favorite, Perfect Two. I’m already singing along before I realize what I’m doing and it brings tears to my eyes. I still have every word memorized. I go through my school day as usual when a stranger with crimson hair comes up to me. “I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend.” I shrug, having nothing to lose and he introduces me to his small group of nerd friends who look at me in awe. Turns out trying to know somebody you’ve never met is harder than it seems.

I walk home slowly, same way I do every day. The world is even darker and the sky is a blue some might call beautiful. To me it just seems morose. I slump against a stone wall at the end of a road. The cold seeps into my shoulders and I curl up, my head in my knees and my backpack long forgotten. I think I hear his voice, but I know it’s just in my head. It’s all in my head. He’s moved on completely, faster than the wind. I know it’s my time to. I stand up solidly as his car swerves onto the dead end street and flies toward me. Red.

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