The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth MAG

January 22, 2009
By Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments

I wipe at my stupid eyes with the back of my hand, and it startles me for a second that my tears are gray. I dunno why it surprised me; I mean, I buy the s***ty mascara that’s $1.99 in the 20 Items or Less checkout lane. Why spend oodles of green on something I hardly ever use?

I just wanted to look nice, you know? Like those girls who’re just naturally fake pretty. The girls who can blend shades of eyeshadow like no one’s business, and match their lipstick to the exact color of their toenail polish or whatever. Seemingly effortless, yet impeccably coordinated.

This is good stuff, I should write for a living – solely on the subject of beauty queens with superiority complexes, of course.

I just want … God, what do I want? I want to feel the sun on my face and paint the clouds and hear the music in the trees and love myself and love someone else and just feel perpetually beautiful.

But that requires the $14.99 waterproof, fire-retardant, Grade-5-hurricane-resistant mascara, not the tube that’s two bucks in Lane 4.

My shoes are dirty and outdated, but that’s how I like them. I like these shoes. They’re comfortable. Why do I need new, expensive, fashionably appealing shoes in order for someone to say, “Hey dogg, you look nice today”?

And why is it that whenever I get deathly bored and slather cheap, pore-clogging makeup all over my face everyone suddenly says, “Wow, you look pretty!”? Since when is “pretty” about whale blubber and cocoa butter?

I’ll tell you one thing, though. I most definitely am not crying about some stupid XY.

Definitely not.

I’m crying for all the whales that have to give up their fatty insulation so that some fugly anorexic super bitch can paint herself pretty every freaking day, giving him something halfway decent to oggle all the time.

Seriously, I’m not leaking saltwater over a guy.

I just think it’s cruel and unfair that the fat-endowed marine life population doesn’t even get the slightest warning that they’ll soon be on a cosmetics endcap at K-Mart.

He could have at least broken it to me gently, you know? We’ve been friends since the George Bush/Al Gore debacle.

I mean come the Bette Midler on.

I spill my blood, guts, and viscera out to this guy and he throws down the “Let’s just be friends” card without a second thought?

It’s just … it’s common courtesy to ease someone into heartbreak, not smash it over their head like a whiffleball bat.

You know what? I’m going to take my $1.99 checkout Lane 4 mascara and chuck it right at her big, stupid square head.


The author's comments:
This is literally an excerpt from my journal, so it's a little different when it comes to writing style.

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This article has 476 comments.


on Apr. 4 2012 at 2:50 pm
Zuccini75 BRONZE, Chantilly, Virginia
1 article 0 photos 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and let people wonder, than telling them yourself."
-Myself

...Stupid XY - Fantastic writing! The message is clear, the humor is good too! :)

on Apr. 4 2012 at 7:49 am
KelseyBear BRONZE, Cuba, New York
3 articles 10 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Although it is generally known, I think it's time to announce that I was born at a very young age"

I loved this so much. Awesome job!

vazenitran98 said...
on Mar. 13 2012 at 4:32 pm
vazenitran98, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
0 articles 0 photos 79 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street,I met a man who had no feet."

This explains how sometimes,money can't buy things that can change who you are. This explains it all. You did an exceptional job.

on Mar. 13 2012 at 3:20 pm
maizyiscrazy GOLD, Washington, District Of Columbia
10 articles 53 photos 262 comments

Favorite Quote:
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe in miracles. ~Audrey Hepburn

This is Teen Ink, not a stupid chain email. Stop posing stuf like this, it is stupid.

on Mar. 13 2012 at 2:59 pm
smileygirl BRONZE, Whitman, Nebraska
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small, all things wise and wonderful, the Lord God made them all.

Very Nice! I love your expressions, haven't had my heart broke yet but it sounds like it sucks.

on Mar. 13 2012 at 1:13 pm
pickles_the_kitten BRONZE, Ballground, Georgia
1 article 0 photos 1 comment
Beautiful. I wish more girls were like you. and remember, that no matter what, you're beautiful. (certified cheesy) ;D

samm513 said...
on Feb. 20 2012 at 6:25 pm
luv it, dont get the title tho

KatsK DIAMOND said...
on Feb. 20 2012 at 3:32 pm
KatsK DIAMOND, Saint Paul, Minnesota
57 articles 0 photos 303 comments

Favorite Quote:
Being inexhaustible, life and nature are a constant stimulus for a creative mind.
~Hans Hofmann
You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.
~Ray Bradbury

Wait-- why the title? anyway, great job! i haven't had my heart broken yet, but if i do i bet it'll look like this :) GREAT job! (sorry for the caps)

on Feb. 20 2012 at 10:03 am
Free_One PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 773 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am not invincible or unstoppable, but I stay strong because it is the only way to survive in this world."

I totally agree! This was REALLY good! Great job for making in the magazine!!! :)(:

on Feb. 20 2012 at 7:30 am
devikaarora GOLD, New Delhi, Hawaii
17 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dont tell me sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon !

Oh i simply loved it ! Perfect it was ! :)

aem312 BRONZE said...
on Feb. 18 2012 at 6:42 pm
aem312 BRONZE, Richmond, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 43 comments
I enjoyed the way that this was written- how it started with the mascara and that piece kept appearing throughout. Great job

on Jan. 29 2012 at 9:16 pm
star2brite SILVER, Amherst, New Hampshire
7 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A bad book is as much of a labor to write as a good one, it comes as sincerely from the author's soul."--Aldous Huxley

I agree with LaurenE, but for a slightly different reason. I like experimenting with makeup to create light and shadow and color. We makeup girls definitely aren't all the same :). But I agree that makeup should not create confidence, it should add to it, kind of like what LaurenE. was saying. By the way, good for you for telling the guy, duckypoodle. :)

on Jan. 29 2012 at 8:05 pm
LaurenE. PLATINUM, Nashville, Tennessee
26 articles 19 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
Two woods diverge in a yellow wood, and I- I took the one less traveled. And it has made all the difference. -Robert Frost

I loved how vunerable you made yourself by telling the reader how your story was from you journal. It made me read it differently, and I absolutly loved it =) Good luck in your future writing endevors.

on Jan. 29 2012 at 8:01 pm
LaurenE. PLATINUM, Nashville, Tennessee
26 articles 19 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
Two woods diverge in a yellow wood, and I- I took the one less traveled. And it has made all the difference. -Robert Frost

I disagree. In my personal opinion, I know not everyone will agree, I don't think wearing makeup reflects my confidence. I wear makeup for me, not to impress anyone else. I feel grungy without it. I am a very confident person. You may disagree, but we make up girls aren't all the same.

on Jan. 29 2012 at 2:55 pm
Dolly9471 BRONZE, Berkeley Heights, New Jersey
3 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
In the end will will not remember the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King Jr.

Absolutely adored your piece! Super true!

peaceout GOLD said...
on Jan. 29 2012 at 12:32 pm
peaceout GOLD, Cleveland, Ohio
17 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't ask what the meaning of life is. You define it.

Seriously, this was one of the best pieces i have EVER read. your metaphors, the writing itself is so good and TRUE. i LOVED it.

on Jan. 29 2012 at 12:21 am
Bookworm1997 BRONZE, South Milwaukee, Wisconsin
1 article 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
You cannot open a book without learning something. -Confucious

It's really easy to relate to this piece. Fantastic!

M-star BRONZE said...
on Jan. 7 2012 at 10:12 pm
M-star BRONZE, Kalamazoo, Michigan
4 articles 3 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Won't you come into the garden? I would like my roses to see you."- Richard Brinsley Sheridan

This piece is different and fresh but so good! I don't know too many people who write like this. "I just want… God, what do I want?" That's my favorite line!

on Jan. 7 2012 at 9:38 pm
firstsnowfalls DIAMOND, Marcellus, New York
51 articles 6 photos 105 comments
"I just want … God, what do I want? I want to feel the sun on my face and paint the clouds and hear the music in the trees and love myself and love someone else and just feel perpetually beautiful"... love this!!!

Fia-fia BRONZE said...
on Jan. 7 2012 at 11:59 am
Fia-fia BRONZE, Bethesda, Maryland
4 articles 1 photo 157 comments
This is really good! The writing in this and the consistent reference to the whale is amazing. I love it. You are a wonderful author and i hope i get to see more of you work soon! Thank you :)


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