Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

I wipe at my stupid eyes with the back of my hand, and it startles me for a second that my tears are gray. I dunno why it surprised me; I mean, I buy the s***ty mascara that’s $1.99 in the 20 Items or Less checkout lane. Why spend oodles of green on something I hardly ever use?

I just wanted to look nice, you know? Like those girls who’re just naturally fake pretty. The girls who can blend shades of eyeshadow like no one’s business, and match their lipstick to the exact color of their toenail polish or whatever. Seemingly effortless, yet impeccably coordinated.

This is good stuff, I should write for a living – solely on the subject of beauty queens with superiority complexes, of course.

I just want … God, what do I want? I want to feel the sun on my face and paint the clouds and hear the music in the trees and love myself and love someone else and just feel perpetually beautiful.

But that requires the $14.99 waterproof, fire-retardant, Grade-5-hurricane-resistant mascara, not the tube that’s two bucks in Lane 4.

My shoes are dirty and outdated, but that’s how I like them. I like these shoes. They’re comfortable. Why do I need new, expensive, fashionably appealing shoes in order for someone to say, “Hey dogg, you look nice today”?

And why is it that whenever I get deathly bored and slather cheap, pore-clogging makeup all over my face everyone suddenly says, “Wow, you look pretty!”? Since when is “pretty” about whale blubber and cocoa butter?

I’ll tell you one thing, though. I most definitely am not crying about some stupid XY.

Definitely not.

I’m crying for all the whales that have to give up their fatty insulation so that some fugly anorexic super bitch can paint herself pretty every freaking day, giving him something halfway decent to oggle all the time.

Seriously, I’m not leaking saltwater over a guy.

I just think it’s cruel and unfair that the fat-endowed marine life population doesn’t even get the slightest warning that they’ll soon be on a cosmetics endcap at K-Mart.

He could have at least broken it to me gently, you know? We’ve been friends since the George Bush/Al Gore debacle.

I mean come the Bette Midler on.

I spill my blood, guts, and viscera out to this guy and he throws down the “Let’s just be friends” card without a second thought?

It’s just … it’s common courtesy to ease someone into heartbreak, not smash it over their head like a whiffleball bat.

You know what? I’m going to take my $1.99 checkout Lane 4 mascara and chuck it right at her big, stupid square head.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




Join the Discussion


This article has 473 comments. Post your own!

KatsviewThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 20, 2012 at 3:32 pm:
Wait-- why the title? anyway, great job! i haven't had my heart broken yet, but if i do i bet it'll look like this :) GREAT job! (sorry for the caps)
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
writerfreak21231This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 20, 2012 at 10:03 am:
I totally agree! This was REALLY good! Great job for making in the magazine!!! :)(:
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
smilingtillinfinity said...
Feb. 20, 2012 at 7:30 am:
Oh i simply loved it ! Perfect it was ! :)
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
aem312 said...
Feb. 18, 2012 at 6:42 pm:
I enjoyed the way that this was written- how it started with the mascara and that piece kept appearing throughout. Great job
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
LaurenE. said...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 8:05 pm:
I loved how vunerable you made yourself by telling the reader how your story was from you journal. It made me read it differently, and I absolutly loved it =) Good luck in your future writing endevors.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Dolly9471 said...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 2:55 pm:
Absolutely adored your piece! Super true!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
peaceout said...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 12:32 pm:
Seriously, this was one of the best pieces i have EVER read. your metaphors, the writing itself is so good and TRUE. i LOVED it.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Bookworm1997 said...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 12:21 am:
It's really easy to relate to this piece. Fantastic!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
M-star said...
Jan. 7, 2012 at 10:12 pm:
This piece is different and fresh but so good! I don't know too many people who write like this. "I just want… God, what do I want?" That's my favorite line!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
firstsnowfalls This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 7, 2012 at 9:38 pm:
"I just want … God, what do I want? I want to feel the sun on my face and paint the clouds and hear the music in the trees and love myself and love someone else and just feel perpetually beautiful"... love this!!!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Fia-fia said...
Jan. 7, 2012 at 11:59 am:
This is really good! The writing in this and the consistent reference to the whale is amazing. I love it. You are a wonderful author and i hope i get to see more of you work soon! Thank you :)
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Def_Leppard_fan120 said...
Jan. 7, 2012 at 1:11 am:
Come check out my article called THE BATTLE and comment on what you thought about it.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
duckypoodle said...
Jan. 3, 2012 at 4:33 pm:
The one guy I ever poured myself out too was actually understanding. That gives me confidence, because after reading everything that other girls go through, I was scared to tell him. But, you know, you just gotta go through with it, because even though this guy didn't like me, he still hung out with me and joked. And makeup is seriously for people who need confidence. Those who have confidence don't need makeup.
 
LaurenE. replied...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 8:01 pm :
I disagree. In my personal opinion, I know not everyone will agree, I don't think wearing makeup reflects my confidence. I wear makeup for me, not to impress anyone else. I feel grungy without it. I am a very confident person. You may disagree, but we make up girls aren't all the same.
 
star2brite This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 9:16 pm :
I agree with LaurenE, but for a slightly different reason. I like experimenting with makeup to create light and shadow and color. We makeup girls definitely aren't all the same :). But I agree that makeup should not create confidence, it should add to it, kind of like what LaurenE. was saying. By the way, good for you for telling the guy, duckypoodle. :)
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
BlueRain said...
Dec. 16, 2011 at 6:16 pm:

The sad part is is that when they say "Let's be friends", that really means "Okay, I know you, but it's too weird to talk anymore because.. well... yeah, so let's go be on separate universes and then be all surprised when I realize halfway through the school year that you share a class or two with me."

Well, that's what they're usually thinking. But with less courtesy.

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
BrokenBree said...
Dec. 16, 2011 at 4:11 pm:
This is pretty good. I really enjoyed this. I also love the title. Keep adding stuff from your journal! 
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Everyone_Desrves_A_Chance said...
Dec. 16, 2011 at 3:22 pm:
Wow This Is Really Good I Think You Should Make This Into A Series Or Something Like That Or Maybe Try To Publish It I Seriouslly Would Buy This If You Made It Into A Book Or Series :)
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Nolanje80 said...
Dec. 16, 2011 at 1:58 pm:
i agree with blueeyedgirl18. this also sounds like my journal. and i get where you are coming from ont he fact that soo many guys play the "i just want to be friends" card even aftr you tell him all your idrty little secrets. how is that at all fair?
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Blueeyedgirl18 said...
Dec. 16, 2011 at 12:32 pm:
This sounds like my diary:) lol I love it:)
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Site Feedback