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Paradise

The heaven’s warm breath blows my hair away from my face, as if it’s trying to makes sure I get a clear view of the lovely scene starring at my eyes. Tall soft grass dancing with the wild flowers, and sage old trees resting in the sun’s peaceful gaze. A stream quietly gurgling, creating a lullaby to all. The clear sky, decorated with only a few clouds dotted throughout it, look down to see the mockingbirds devising beautiful harmonies. A single butterfly blesses me by resting its beautifully embellished wings on my fingertips. The air is sweet and warm from the tenderness of nature, and I enjoy it all while resting on a large cold stone, not yet kissed by the sun’s warm lips.




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Liv.HarrisThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
yesterday at 9:04 pm:
I really like this place of yours...I hope you find it! p.s. please tell me if you do, I would love to join you lol XD
 
ConstanceContraireThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
today at 1:28 pm :
Thanks :D But when I find this place, I hope you won't mind the company of  a husky dog and a white horse (don't own them now, but will someday ;) )
 
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WOWritingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 29 at 9:47 am:
Nice descriptive piece :) a tiny bit confusing and oddly worded in places but other than that, really good
 
ConstanceContraireThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 30 at 12:05 am :
What places do you think are oddly placed? I would like to fix it :)   Thanks ;)
 
WOWritingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 30 at 11:47 am :
Specifically, I think in the 1st sentence, 'a clear view of the lovely scene staring at my eyes' is a bit odd because how can it stare at your eyes? I get if it's a metaphor, but wouldn't it be 'staring at me intently' or 'staring me in the face' or something? Also, when you say 'the clear sky, decorated with only a few clouds dotted around it,' doesn't the 'decorated with only a few' bit justify that the clouds are dotted around it? I know I&#... (more »)
 
ConstanceContraireThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 30 at 4:39 pm :
Well I think anything can 'stare at you intently' stare at my face' and more specifically 'stare at my eyes' for me its just another way of saying it :) Yeah I probably could have put a colon, just overlooked that XP Thanks :)
 
WOWritingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 1 at 12:47 pm :
OK ur welcome :)
 
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