"Hello, mortal. Are you here to learn of my Great Legend? You should. Your puny human mind will be blown away by the sheer magnitude and majesty of my tale. To begin, I start off my Monday's by eating two pieces of buttered toast with scrambled eggs on the side. I prefer to drink coffee for breakfast, so I drink hot Jasmine Tea. Long story short, that is why I despise reality TV. A friend of mine who also drinks orange juice for lunch loves to write beautiful poetry about me. So far, I've had very bad experience with Wendy's bathrooms. This might be a bit off subject, but I really do love sushi. You know, I was in Japan when they invented tuna. Did I mention that I hate reality TV? When I was just a young lad, I was often described as annoying and wild. Of course, now that's changed since I'm much wiser and more intelligent that all of you combined. Afterwards, I always end my Saturdays by putting on my nightcap and drinking melted chocolate.I've been a great help with the police force, you know. The FBI would be lost without my help. Let me tell you about the time I traveled to India and-"