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A Wonderland of Fears

It was no longer the metaphorical cat that held my tongue, nor Suspicion’s shackling cautiousness that swallowed the words. Perhaps I could make believe it was the Cheshire cat, hugged by all his stripes, who caused my words to disappear like they were made from fragments of the unpredictable Wonderland; trailing so stealthily away from me that they transformed into the knots tied within my stomach. Instead, the words conveying how I felt remained hopelessly hidden from you, cloaked by Fear.

Fear had weaved its way inside my mind, planting perhaps unreasonable scenarios that, if heart-wrenchingly proved, would tear me apart to the point of no repair. I was afraid of you, the Caretaker, getting frustrated with me; of how my mind tortured me enough to bleed onto you.

I placed all my efforts in sparing you; shutting you out rather than opening up with my tear-stained being, and without realizing it—blinded by Fear—I crossed the line.

I had become consumed in my tendency to push you away.



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