Carly and the Chocolate Factory

September 13, 2008
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One day, Carly Lucket got a letter in the mail advertizing a new promotion for Bonka Bars. It said that there would be five Bonka bars sent out of Billy Bonka’s factory containing copper tickets and that whoever found a copper ticket would get a tour of Billy Bonka’s world famous chocolate factory! Carly was ecstatic; she loved chocolate and it was rumored that Billy Bonka, whom no one had ever seen, since he lived in his factory, was super crazy. Carly was determined to find a copper ticket, so she bought five chocolate bars and BAM!!!: a copper ticket! Three days later, after all of the copper tickets were found, Carly met the other ticket owners outside of the factory. When they went inside, they finally saw what everyone else in the whole world could only dream of seeing: Billy Bonka!

The group began their tour and Carly finally understood why nobody ever sees Billy Bonka; not only was he nearly eight feet tall, he was also very shy. But it became obvious that he was also a candy genius. This did not surprise Carly nearly as much as what she learned when she entered the taste testing room...

There where short, disfigured people walking around everywhere! Billy Bonka explained that they were his faithful workers, also known as aampa laampas. He then confessed to them his biggest obsession: the human immune system! He even said that he loved the immune system more than he loves chocolate! Carly was amazed; she asked him what was so great about the immune system. Billy Bonka grinned, and went into how his taste testing system and the immune system were so alike...

“It all starts with a chocolate. My aampa laampa named Mac first tastes it. If it is bad, he will get marks on his skin that look like the bad chocolate. In your immune system, when a pathogen enters your body, a macrophage will engulf and destroy it and then display the pathogens antigens on its surface. The macrophage then releases a chemical to activate the T Helper cells. Here, Mack would tell the Telp aampa laampas that there’s a bad chocolate. Telp then tells the Bell aampa laampas, the Kell aampa laampas, and the Supprell aampa laampas to get busy doing their jobs. In your body, the T Helper cells would release a chemical to activate B cells, killer T cells, and suppressor T cells. Here, the Kells would then go over to the bad chocolate and rip a whole in it, causing it to blow up. Then Mack would come over and eat the blown up chocolate. In your body, the killer T cells would attach to the surface of the pathogens and make a hole in them, causing a leak, causing them to burst. The macrophage would them come around and engulf the remains from the killer T cells. Here, the Bells that Mack activated would break apart and make the Blasma aampa laampas and the Blemery aampa laampas. The Blasmas would start a campfire and roast marshmallows. They would then take the sticky marshmallows and connect the bad chocolates together. Mack would then come and eat the stuck together chocolates. Meanwhile, the Blemeries would turn into walking, talking life-size models of the bad chocolates so everybody knows that, if they were to come across this chocolate, it was not to be sold. In your body, the B cells that the macrophage activated would divide into plasma and memory cells. The B memory cells would reproduce to make a memory for the body. The memory cells would then remain in the system so that the next time you come in contact with that pathogen, your body would react. The B plasma cells would reproduce and make millions of antibodies, which will find the pathogens and attach to the antigens. The attached antibodies that are attached to the pathogen would then cause them to clump together and inactivate the pathogen. Macrophage would then come around and engulf the remains from the B plasma cells. Here in the factory, the Supprell aampa laampas would be sitting back and supervising everything that’s going on, and, once all of the bad chocolates are gone, they would tell everyone when to stop working. In your body, the suppresser T cells stop the responses when all of the infected cells are destroyed. The B cell action would be a humoral response, while the T cell action would be a cell-mediated response. This would all be called a specific defense mechanism, because it targets a specific pathogen.”

While Billy Bonka was telling us this, we were all staring at him in utter confusion. He didn’t seem to mind, since he continued on with his long lecture.

“On the other hand are nonspecific defense mechanisms, which fight off all invaders. This whole room is specially designed to resemble the body’s immune system. The walls act like physical barriers, which is what skin does for your body. When there are bad candies entering the room, Mack sends a text message to the control room, telling them to make the room really hot so that the bad candies all melt. In your body, when you have a fever, macrophage sends a message to your brain telling it to heat up, causing a temperature response. I even designed this room to get bigger and turn red when someone eats a bad candy. In your body, when you have an injury, cells release a chemical that causes blood vessels to expand. The injury then swells, turns red, and increases its temperature and number of macrophage.”

Carly and the other winners were then becoming afraid; this guy obviously wasn’t kooky in a cool, chocolate-making-genius kind of way. In fact, they were kind of freaking out that this guy might be a psychopath. So, they screamed and ran towards the door. Billy Bonka could hear them screaming all the way home.

The moral of the story is that you should never be afraid of people because they are smart or because they have a completely abnormal obsession with the immune system, because you never might know what they are going to do about it. Billy Bonka was planning on giving his multimillion dollar chocolate factory to one of the winners of the copper tickets. Instead, he ended up selling it on eBay to some guy named Willy...

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MsSwiss said...
Oct. 17, 2008 at 11:04 am
Wow!!! This was an awesome story. All of the references to Willy Wonka literally made me laugh out loud!
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