The girl who never spoke for her self | Teen Ink

The girl who never spoke for her self

February 27, 2013
By Ariel3455 SILVER, Odessa, Texas
Ariel3455 SILVER, Odessa, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You made me clean my mirror and had me realize nothing is wrong with me" - Ariel


Have you ever had that feeling that you thought you were never good enough for someone? Or they were to good to be your friends, if they were your friends they would only talk to you and find things out about you and they go behind your back and tell everyone your secret? That you didn’t want anyone to know? Now it’s all over the school and your too embarrassed to go to school or show your face because you know when you walk through those doors everyone will be pointing at you and laughing at you. Have you ever had those kinds of people that make fun of you because you seem over weight to them? And you would stop eating just to make them feel better so they could stop making fun of you? Or they are just jealous because you seem better looking then they do. Or they don’t like you because they think you’re everything that they ever wanted.


When I started junior high during my seventh grade year, I thought I made a lot of friends. They would always talk to me and tell me how cool and fun I was, but when I am having a bad day they would ask me what is wrong and I would tell them and they would laugh in front of me saying that’s a dumb reason to be upset when I thought it was serious and everything to me.

One day I meet this guy named Tyler and he told me he liked me and I felt special. We became best friends and he tried to ask me out but I said no and when I did he was with a group of his guy friends, we were standing on top of the stair case and he got really mad and those boys that were around him started to tell him to push me down the stairs and I just looked at him and told him not to and sure enough he pushed me down the stairs and I fell on my stomach and it hurt. I started to cry because it hurt me. But I never told anyone but now I do. But nothing can fix what happened to me in junior high.

I meet this other girl named Katie she just didn’t like me at all. I would ask her and she would just say I don’t like you, your ugly and too fat. Was that the real reason why she didn’t like me? I wanted to know badly. One day I was at lunch eating by my self and Katie and Tyler go over there and they started calling me ugly names, Tyler grabbed my food tray and dumped it on me. I ran out of the cafeteria feeling hot tears run down my face and Katie runs after me and she reaches me and tackles me down and starts punching me in the face. She got up and left after she got done laughing at me. After that day was over I just wanted to go home and cry in a little ball and just runaway from everyone because no one understood what was happening to me and if they did they would just stand there and laugh at me. But that same night I looked in the mirror and started looking at how fat I was and what was wrong with my face or me? But I wasn’t that big. My mom made dinner for me and my dad and she told me to go down for dinner but I told her I wasn’t hungry because of what Katie told me, I had stopped eating for a while even though I started feeling weak. So I didn’t show up at school for a few days because I was sick. When I went back to school it was nothing new, when the lunch bell rang I just walked slowly to the cafeteria hoping Tyler and Katie weren’t at school that day. But there they were standing at the doorway waiting for me to walk in when I did they tripped me and started laughing, Katie was telling every one that she was going to beat me up and there once again a punch was thrown in my face four times. I got up and picked my things up and walked out the cafeteria. Feeling the hotness on my face from the punches and I went the bathroom and I threw my things on the floor and started crying and I started punching the walls in the stale because I was really mad.

Finally my seventh grade year was over now it was my eight grade and I lost a lot of weight because I would eat for two days and skip three days with out food and just drink a lot of water. Tyler and Katie were standing at the door and they saw how skinny I got. They didn’t say anything other then saying I wasn’t a cow anymore, but the same bullying started all over again and I would just let Katie punch and kick me I wouldn’t try to fight her because I knew I didn’t have a chance so I just let the beating happen from her and Tyler. But also I started cutting my self during that year and people would start calling me bad names like emo and everything else. But I tired to not let it get me but it did. And every day I would show up to school with new freshly cuts opened on my arms. I just wanted to go away forever. I started skipping some of my class periods just so I wouldn’t see them. There was this new guy at my school and he became friends with me and I really liked him but when Katie found out we were friends. She crashed our friendship we had. And he started making fun of me too along with Katie but when he saw Tyler and Katie hitting me and punching me and saw me crying he grabbed Tyler and started punching him in the back and threw Tyler to the floor and started jumping on him, punching him, and hitting his face. After he was done he got on his knees in front of me blocking Katie from hitting me, he told me he was sorry but that only lasted for a moment Tyler got back up and hit him in the back of the head and he fell over. Tyler and Katie went away when they saw Josh fell over. I grabbed Josh and I hugged him and I started crying on him and the police officer went over there and saw us and he took Josh to the hospital and Josh woke up a day later and he had to moved back to California I wasn’t happy about him moving because I knew I would miss him he tried to save me and that meant a lot to me. He left me a note in my locker saying how bad he felt and that he needed to be my friend when I needed one but I knew I had to let go of him.

During my 9th grade year I got the news that he killed him self no one knew the answer why he did. I wish I knew and I just lost my thought and mind that day. Katie was very upset that her beating me up plan didn’t go well so she started making fun of me because Josh killed him self and I couldn’t stand it no more I punched her in the face really hard. But boy that punch felt so good. I walked away.

When I went to school the following day I saw she was crying I started laughing at her. How she did to me. But when she saw I was laughing at her she started crying harder and fell to her knees and I went up to her and hugged her and she hugged me back and she told me she was sorry what happened to Josh and what she and Tyler did to me.

I forgave her and now that I am in high school and its almost over.
But bullying can go way farther then it was with me. I was very lucky they didn’t do anything online with me. If they tried I don’t know what I would do. When people are bullied they don’t know what to do because I didn’t know what to do, but me I would just run away from them hoping I didn’t have to go through another day with bullying and being hated for being human.


The author's comments:
The was me in junior high I just wanted to share I don't like to have things bottled up anymore..

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