Not Crazy | Teen Ink

Not Crazy

September 28, 2012
By shredsofconfidence GOLD, Montville, New Jersey
shredsofconfidence GOLD, Montville, New Jersey
12 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
Tour Bus Audio Guide: "To your right is a Gaudi building..."
Me: "WELL, gaudy is one name for it. ...Oh wait. You meant the architect....right. I knew that."


“Is there something wrong with you?” Rashmi asked.
“Me? Pshhh, no. Why? DO YOU THINK I’M CRAZY? ‘CAUSE I ASSURE YOU, I’M NOT CRAZY. AND THERE IS A REASON WHY I’M TALKING LIKE THIS AND WHY I WAS SKIPPING DOWN THE HALL,” Emily said cheerfully.

“Yeah…about that… You do realize it is a little strange right?”

“What? Skipping down the halls and talking in a super loud voice?”
“Um, I’m not sure if you noticed, but we’re in the library. And you were skipping in circles, while singing Mary Had a Little Lamb. I’m pretty sure that qualifies as crazy.”
“You guys are so mean to me,” Emily said mournfully. “You keep on thinking I’m crazy when I’m really not. When have I ever done something crazy?”

“You painted the school in rainbow colors, and hid in a corner from Katrina because she was wearing pink,” Rashmi said exasperated.

“It was Monday. My psychiatrist says I’m qualified to be insane on Mondays,” Emily said shrugging.
“I knew you were mentally unhinged, but a psychiatrist? Isn’t that going a little overboard?” Rashmi asked incredulously.
“Hey! You’re the one that threw me into that creepy hospital. They gave a psychiatrist because they thought I had some ‘problems’ that I needed to ‘work out,’” Emily said, using air quotes. “I have no idea what they were thinking. I had no problems. Just because I have some tiny mental breakdowns doesn’t mean I’m insane.”
“Uh…Emily?” Rashmi asked warily. “What exactly happened when you had these little mental breakdowns of yours?”
“Oh, I just tried to blow world up,” Emily said nonchalantly, buffing her nails.
“WHAT?!?” Rashmi shrieked.
“Jeez, it’s no big deal. It’s not like I tried to talk to an alien. There are more important things in life Rashmi. Like…chocolate. Can you believe that they wouldn’t give me any chocolate?”
“Emily you’re insane. No one in their right mind would try to blow up the world because they get any chocolate.”
“WHY ARE YOU SO JUDGMENTAL? MY FEELINGS ARE HURT. WHAT KIND OF BEST FRIEND ARE YOU?”
“The normal kind.”

“Wait…is this another plot to get me to admit I’m crazy so you can throw me into an insane asylum? Again?”
“No…of course not. Would I ever do something like that to you?” Rashmi drawled sarcastically.
“You did that it last time.”
“Hey! That time was all Alicia,” Rashmi said defensively.
“It was you who convinced her to do it.”
“Nope. Sorry, that was Shannon and Christine,” Rashmi responded, not sounding very sorry at all.
“What about that time before Christmas, hmm?”
“That wasn’t me. It was Peri and Iris.”
“Why do you guys gang up on me all the time?” Emily wondered aloud.
“Because you won’t admit you’re crazy.”
“I’m not!” Emily protested.
“You look over your shoulder every ten seconds.”
“I’m paranoid now, okay? It’s all your fault! You keep on committing me to mental hospitals!” Emily exclaimed indignantly, while turning to look over her shoulder. “And what about the time you threw me to the insane asylum on my birthday? WHAT KIND OF BEST FRIEND GIVES THEIR FRIEND UP TO AN INSANE ASYLUM ON THEIR BIRTHDAY?!?”
“Erm…uh…that wasn’t me,” Rashmi said, trying to deny it, but failing.
“Yes it was.”
“Uh…no it wasn’t”
“Uh huh.”
“Nuh uh.”
5 minutes later…
“Uh huh.”
“Nuh uh.”
“Nuh uh.”
“HAH! I win!” Rashmi started dancing a happy jig around the library, shouting that she won.
“And they say I’m the one that needs to go to the insane asylum.” Shaking her head, Emily skipped away, singing, “Mary had a little lamb…”


The author's comments:
This is what I suspect all my friends want to do to me.

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This article has 1 comment.


on Oct. 3 2012 at 8:45 pm
Eliquencity PLATINUM, Winfield, Illinois
20 articles 0 photos 28 comments
I love it! Oh, my goodness. Great comedic writing.