Endless Darkness

April 16, 2012
By Saphy BRONZE, Hollywood, California
Saphy BRONZE, Hollywood, California
3 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
Never forget to smile.


It’s been 17 years and all I’ve done is wait, wait for you here in the darkness. Do you even remember me? Have you even thought of me since then? When…WHEN…will you come back? I don’t think I can wait any longer. All I want is to lash out, but I can’t, because you have the key, the one key that can unlock me and save me from this endless darkness.



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This article has 40 comments.


on May. 27 2012 at 2:29 pm
DreamingOutQuiet SILVER, Round Rock, Texas
7 articles 0 photos 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Time and the bell have buried the day,
The black cloud carries the sun away" - Elliot

Oh if life where made of moments, even now and then a bad one. Oh, if life where made of moments then we wouldn't know we had one. - Into the Woods

I like that this is so unconventional. Maybe add a little more interesting words and substance, but I like how you leave things up to intrepration. 

Darbs1325 GOLD said...
on May. 17 2012 at 8:09 pm
Darbs1325 GOLD, Columbus, Georgia
15 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is a reflection of intent....love reflects love....hate reflects hate....-Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When the world puts you down, keep your head up!-Anonymous?

Chilling.... 

on May. 17 2012 at 6:10 pm
Kiarra_Kally_Reaver SILVER, Greenville, South Carolina
7 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is not what is meant, it is what is perceived.

This is very relatable =] it can touch lots of hearts and open lots of eyes

on May. 16 2012 at 11:04 pm
realbeautifulheart PLATINUM, Livermore, California
21 articles 1 photo 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is a package that you have to sign for. Yes, it's free. No, there's no guarantee as to what it holds. Open with caution, it's 'FRAGILE'." (I made this up.)

Very good piece. In a way, I think I can relate. Your analogy of a lock and key fits the situation perfectly. Keep writing.

on May. 16 2012 at 10:23 pm
whitetiger303 PLATINUM, Elmira, New York
25 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing last forever"

I like it i think it shows alot of pain and hurt but its interesting

on May. 16 2012 at 9:07 pm
InfinityandBeyond01 BRONZE, N/a, California
4 articles 0 photos 68 comments

Favorite Quote:
Stay Strong! <3

It's interesting...its short and I think it needs more descriptive words. Instead of capitalizing the words like you said "WHEN" , use some words that can leave others speechless :) But it is good please keep it up!  

on May. 16 2012 at 8:57 pm
PeNfReAk10 PLATINUM, Chino Hills, California
22 articles 3 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life hands you lemons, take the seeds and plant them.

very short....but good. nice ending

on May. 16 2012 at 8:05 pm
madlinejoy SILVER, Deale, Maryland
5 articles 0 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
let go and let God
"Love is not an emotion but a choice"

very strong dark mood good job captureing that

Relondo BRONZE said...
on May. 16 2012 at 7:52 pm
Relondo BRONZE, None, Virginia
3 articles 0 photos 13 comments
Not bad. Not great, really, but only because it's too short. Not a whole lot of substance. Do keep it up, though.

on May. 16 2012 at 4:34 am
lilith27 SILVER, Hyderabad, Other
9 articles 2 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
donot judge a book by its cover

gud work..luved it!!

Lacer GOLD said...
on May. 15 2012 at 9:48 pm
Lacer GOLD, Highland Village, Texas
19 articles 0 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
The thing about philosophy is that it often runs dry when thought of so shallowly.

It needs to be longer, have more substance to it. Standing alone, its too cheesy (cheesy is good sometimes, if you give it substance). Add to it, which shouldn't be hard, just add a backstory, and if you can't think of one, revert to the Orson Scott Card brainstorm method

Saphy BRONZE said...
on May. 15 2012 at 8:30 pm
Saphy BRONZE, Hollywood, California
3 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
Never forget to smile.

Everything is based on your interpretation of the piece. Whether it's fantacy or not, your choice! :D

on May. 15 2012 at 8:04 pm
Italy_Felixis GOLD, Walpole, New Hampshire
15 articles 2 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"For in dreams we enter a world that is entirely our own."

I liked it. Is it meant to be fantasy?

 


Lafar SILVER said...
on May. 15 2012 at 6:55 pm
Lafar SILVER, Paoli, Pennsylvania
9 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's okay to get an F. But in the greater scheme of things, nobody cares, especially when you get an ‘F’ in something that’s not reflected in the work you want to do.

Short and Sweet, yet powerful!

Morganwk said...
on May. 15 2012 at 6:10 pm
Morganwk, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
0 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough” - Albert Einstein

I liked it! The difference in style made me miss a step a bit, but I really liked it, especially on read #2. I want to see more of this kind of thing.

francesca22 said...
on May. 15 2012 at 11:50 am
francesca22, Cork, Other
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Don't wait for the perfect moment- make the moment perfect ;p

very deep, I really like this piece , there is some feeling in it

on May. 14 2012 at 11:50 pm
HouseofYork GOLD, Powhatan, Virginia
12 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
"...Time and Chance happened to them all." Ecc 9:11

hmm I admire your adjectives, but the association of key and endless darkness is kinda of apart. I think of key as a prision and darkness as abscence of light, the key being the light and darkness being the result of his or her abscence.
Otherwise good work

on May. 12 2012 at 1:38 pm
NWphotography BRONZE, Cusseta, Georgia
2 articles 21 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Volunteers do not work for free because they are worthless, it is because they are priceless”
-Unknown

"You miss 100% of the shots you never take" -Wayne Gretsky

"Oop! The Moment! Once you miss it, it is gone forever!" -Henri Cartier-Bresson

Im not exactly into poetry, but this is interesting:)

sam_101 BRONZE said...
on May. 10 2012 at 12:07 am
sam_101 BRONZE, ......................, Other
2 articles 0 photos 51 comments
Nice one 

on May. 10 2012 at 12:06 am
laurenmay123 GOLD, Chico, California
15 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"History doesn't repeat itself. Perhaps it..rhymes."

This was very interesting. It's definitely abstract, almost like  journal entry or something. I'm not sure if it's supposed to be a poem or a short story, but the combination you seem to have made is actually pretty neat. It's like, the structure of a short story but with the message/feel of a poem. Very cool! I would recomend maybe elucidating on it a bit, however. Make it a bit more in depth. Other than that, I like it.


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