D: Daniel "The KarateKid" LaRusso
R: Regis Philbin
M: Mr. Miyagi
* "Who Wants To be a Millionaire!" We've got a terrific show foryou tonight. Our contestant is Daniel LaRusso, a student mechanic. Nowthen, you know the rules, you gradually earn more money. You know aboutthe lifelines: call a friend, ask the audience and 50-50. You haven'tused any lifelines yet, so you still have all three. He won $1,000dollars last time, and we're going to continue right where we left off.We'll save the interview until later.
Well, let's getstarted! The first question: which former President appeared on"Laugh In?" Is it a) Nixon b) Johnson c) Carter or d)Kennedy?
D: Well, I don't think it's Carter or Kennedy. I'm goingto guess Nixon.
R: Are you sure you don't want to use a lifeline?Well ... your guess is correct! You've won $2,000 dollars! Alright, thenext question is: In which movie did Arnold Schwarzenegger first appear?Is it a)"Commando" b) "Hercules in New York"c) "Terminator" or d)" Predator"?
D:Gee. That's a tough one. I'm going to have to use one of my lifelines.I'm going to call a friend.
R: All right. Our friends at AT&Twill locate anyone in America. Who do you want to call?
D: I wantto call Mr. Miyagi, my sensei.
R: That's good. I'm sure he'll beable to help.
R: Hello, Mr.Miyagi, this is Regis Philbin, from ABC's "Who Wants to be aMillionaire."
M: Ahhh. Greetings, Regis.
R: Listen,I've got Daniel here, and he wants to ask you a question. You've got 30seconds.
D: Mr. Miyagi, it's me, Daniel.
M: Ah,Daniel-san! How are you?
D: I'm on "Who Wants to be aMillionaire" and I need to know, what movie Arnold Schwartzenagerwas first in?
M: Daniel-san, you need to find your balance.Think, hard, about the time we went to see throwbacks from the '80s filmfestival.
D: Oh, yeah, now I remember. It's b.
R: Is thatyour final answer?
D: Yeah, man.
R: Okay, you've got$4,000. Do you wish to continue?
D: Sure Ido.
Dramatic music plays.
R: Actually, that music means wehave to go to a commercial break right now. Stay tuned as Daniel triesfor one million dollars!
More dramatic music.
R: And we'reback to "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" with Daniel. Daniel istrying to win a million dollars. Let's ask young Daniel a few questionsabout himself. It says here you were born and raised in New Jersey, andmoved to California in high school. Now, would you care to share how youwon the fastest finger competition?
D: I just found my balance,and the answer came to me. Also, the subject was movies with too manysequels, a subject I'm familiar with.
R: It also says here thatyou've journeyed to Japan and won several karate tournaments. Is thatcorrect?
D: Yeah, I've won a few.
R: I know that becauseunder your hobbies, you listed karate. I've taken a few lessons, but Idon't think I could win against you.
D: That's forsure.
R: Excuse me?
D: I could beat you, oldman.
D: Yeah, I'll fight you and take themillion dollars, and you can't stop me.
R: Is that your finalanswer, punk?
D: Bring it on. I'll show you that not only do Ihave the fastest finger, but the fastest fist, too.
A fightensues. Daniel appears to be winning.
D: Go back to Kathie Lee,Regis. You're just one man.
R: Next question:Which hurts more? a) a right b) a left c) a gut punch or d) anuppercut?
Regis gets Daniel into a headlock
R: I have toask you: Do you wish to continue?
Daniel busts out, smacksRegis.
D: You bet your life I do, Regis.
R: I'm sorry,that answer is incorrect, and I'm afraid you lose! Knocks Daniel out.Well, we're going to take a commercial break, but join us when we returnto see who will try next for a million dollars. Our contestants are:John McCain, Jack Ryan, James Bond, Lt. Riggs, Bruce Wayne, Ethan Hunt,our man Flint, Clark Kent, Austin Powers and Jack Dawson. So, keepwatching.
This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.