Back To Myself

January 19, 2012
By mariahdances GOLD, Torrance, California
mariahdances GOLD, Torrance, California
12 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The most important thing in a conversation is to hear what isn't being said"

“She said no, so bounce!”, Erika screamed at John as she held up her fists as defense. His eyes grew wide as he looked at me, as if he wants me to back him up. He scurried away and soon was out of sight. John Carton was a desperate boy. He would ask out just about any girl. He would ask me out everyday and I am not too sure what part of no he didn’t get. Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t a bad guy, he just wasn’t good enough. My best friend Erika always had my back. When guys would bother me, she would front them off, even put them on blast. She was always there, without her, I don’t know what I’d do. “Thanks Erika”, I say as a reached down to retrieve all of the fallen notebooks, my black pen, and my History textbook.

“No problem, no one messes with Kelcie Bullock”, she said while brushing back her thick, curly red hair. The best thing about Ericka Jones is that she had the best of both worlds. She was very sweet and generous, but piss her off and she will be your worst nightmare. What I am saying is that he could be mean when she wanted. This was great, because not everyone can control their switch.

Anyways, life is not easy at Shaston High. Here in Laguna Beach, the students are not always friendly. Some are very sweet, and others will be cruel for no reason. As we approach Mrs. Smith’s classroom for Geometry, we realize how late we are once we notice we’re the only students on campus and not in a classroom. We are now10 minutes late, but we are giggling and we don’t even have our textbooks. Lame, yes. Do we care?, no. However, Mrs. Smith doesn’t usually check to see if we have them, so who cares. Mrs. Smith is wearing a red and bright orange blouse, and denim jeans. She has on tall, black pumps and ruby red earrings. She always looks very stylish, but today was more than usual.

“Turn your books to page 46, today, I will come around to make sure everyone is following along”, she shouted. “Dang, why when I come to class unprepared, she winds up actually doing her job”, I said to myself as a dig into my backpack looking for the book I know for certain I don’t have. As I position myself up I shoot Erika a look of panic. What if I get in trouble for not having my book? As Mrs. Smith approaches my desk, my hands start to grow sweaty. “Where is your book, Ms. Bullock?”, she says in a raspy voice as she folds her hands over her chest. “Uhm, Mrs. Smith, you look beautiful today”, I say chuckling. Now she is giving me the death stare and is slowing inching closer to me. “This is your second warning, one more and that’s a detention”, she says under her breath.

Everyone in my class suddenly shoots me this look, as if I am the first student on earth to not have brought their textbook in class. There was something weird about the way she said it though that made me wonder. Almost as if she felt bad for me, as if she didn’t want to put me on blast like that. The looks in her eyes are filled with disappointment as she stares at me from her desk. Normally I am not one to think like this. I’m the type of girl who never does her homework, gets to school late, and spends the whole class period texting. However, she suddenly made my want to change.

I gather my supplies and head to History, I have promised myself to change. I will start doing my work and getting to class on time.
“Kelcie! Wait up!”, I hear Erika shouting. I don’t know why, but I keep on walking. “Yo! Are you freakin’ deaf!”, she says as she grabs my shoulder and shoves me against the cold railing. Yes, Erika is a good friend who has always been there for me, but she pisses me off a lot. “Yes, I can hear her. I have ears!, sorry, I was just thinking”, I shrugged. “You? Thinking? That’s cute”, Erika says as be both start to run down the stairs to get to 6th period on time. I know that I never actually do my school work, but that doesn’t mean I’m stupid. Erika thinks I don’t do anything and that my life has no meaning. “I have to go, I will text you later”, I said as a take off running faster than I thought I ever could. Once Erika was completely out of sight, I stopped. Maybe she was right. Maybe my life has no meaning. Maybe I am worthless. I jump when I hear the sound of the bell ringing. As I snap back into reality, I realize that I was so quick to get away from Erika that I find myself on the opposite side of the campus where my class is. I felt stupid. How could I let myself get so sidetrackted? I slowly start to walk back to where my class is, thinking about how disappointed I made my geometry teacher. I don’t know why, but I actually care what she thinks of me. Why? I don’t know. And there I go again, not knowing anything. Constantly saying “I don’t know”.

As the last bell rings, I grab all of my belongings and head straight toward my locker. “What are you doing at your locker, Kel?, it’s not like you actually do your work anyways”, Erika managed to say while biting into a crisp green apple. God, why can’t she just leave me alone?

“Actually, I’m going to start working hard and get all of my backed up work done”, I managed to say. What am I getting myself into? Erika starts laughing so loud, that everyone in the whole locker bay turns around. “That is so funny, but seriously, we got to bounce”, she says while pulling me out the bay by the arm that is not holding books. I swear to god if we were not on campus I would punch her in the throat. This is getting real tiring.

“Stop, dummy!”, I yell as I pull my arm back. She stares at me in disbelief. “My name’s Kelcie, not Kel”. I am going to go back to the way I was last year, before I met you”, I say as I can feel myself tearing up. And just like that I run out the locker bay and straight home.

On my walk home, I think about everything that happened that day. I used to be the completely the opposite of what I used to be. I used to be the girl with straight A’s, in Student Council, and the head of Volleyball team. Now I’m failing all my classes, lacking in class, and even getting hooked on drugs. I changed once I met Erika. She and her crew were known as the “Five Stars”. They called themselves that because they would get high as stars and there were five of them. Four of them were caught with illegal drugs, and expelled. The only one left to stay was Erika.

They would shoot up all the time. I don’t, but I used to. I do cocaine here and there, and a little pot, put it’s not really a big deal. I am pretty normal, and I am not an addict. Sure I may snort a few lines before school just so I can make it out of bed, but I’m not addicted. I can do without it.

As I approach the front door of my home, I notice how big the house really is. It is a three bedroom, three baths. The outside is a cream yellow and we have a big garage that has one Nissan and a Toyota Camry. “Hey, how was school?”, my mom asks as she opens the door. She’s in a red, silk robe and her hair is tied into a messy bun. “Okay”, I respond as I run upstairs and throw my backpack on the floor.

As I make my way to the bathroom, I hear my phone vibrating. “It can wait”, I murmur and I run full speed to the bathroom so I don’t wet myself. I walk slowly out the bathroom, realizing that if I’m really going to make a change, I have to do my homework. So, I put my long, golden blonde hair into a ponytail. If I keep it down, I will find myself messing around with my bangs for over two and a half hours. Trust me, I am the definition of distracted.

As I pull out my notebooks and pens, I see a written essay at the bottom of my green backpack. It reads:

I never really understood the whole “Romeo and Juliet” book or play, but it has a lot to do with teenage love, right? Well, how would I know? It’s not like I read the dang book but if it wasn’t so boring, I would.

“Wow, pathetic”, I say to myself. The essay is something I wrote a few weeks ago during class. We were assigned to write about “Romeo and Juliet”. Apparently I was so dumb I wrote in the essay how I didn’t read it. Stupid? Yes. Do I care? I do now.

As my clock strikes 11:04 PM I have already completed 2 essays, 14 worksheets, 12 geometry assignments, and read “Romeo and Juliet”. I take a sign of relief, and stand up tall and straight. Me, Kelcie Bullock, actually did her homework and studied for the first time in about 13 months. I know it’s sad, but I have not felt more proud. I slowly place all of my work and books in my backpack. I open my oak dresser drawers and take out a long blue and gray t-shirt at least five sizes too big, and some yellow striped shorts. I then brushed my teeth, washed my face, and made my ponytail a high messy bun. I turn of my Iphone and turn off my lamp. I see that I have 1 missed call from Ericka. I ignore it. I close my eyes, and I see Mrs. Smith’s disappointed face. The only reason her face is haunting me is because I deserve to be scared. I need to stop hanging with the bad crowd. I can’t be best friends with Erika! She only likes what I have become. Tomorrow, she will not like me.

“Rise and shine”, my mother shouts as she taps my on the shoulder to get me up for school. “What time is it?” I say while wiping sleep out of my eyes. “6:59”, she replies while managing to put on her gray cargo pants, and a bright yellow tee. “Sorry, I only wake up on 7 on weekdays”, I say with a chuckle. I roll right back over and close my eyes, knowing I have about 25 seconds to actually get up and get ready for school.
As I took the pale blue blanket off of me I could feel the freezing air giving me the shakes. As I am covered in goose bumps, I headed straight to the bathroom, brushed my teeth while having Neutrogena’s “Deep Clean” cleanser on my face. I then put my tousled blonde hair in a tight, messy bun. If you haven’t already noticed, the messy bun is our I’m-too-lazy-to-fool-with-my-hair hairstyle. It runs in the family.

As emerge from the bathroom I close my blinds. I hate having them wide open. For one, I have to get dressed, and for two the sun is way too bright at 7:15 am. I then run to my closet and pull out a gray Hollister jacket, a turquoise tank top, and a pair of dark wash denim Levi jeans. I then put on a black of thick black socks, and black Vans.

I go downstairs to have some breakfast, and I see my mom with her coffee cup reading the newspaper. This was her morning ritual. Messy bun, coffee, newspaper. That is really all my mom needs. “Morning”, I say to her as I head straight to the stack of pancakes my mom has prepared for me. All she does is raise her coffee mug up as a hello.

I bet you are wondering where my dad is. Guess what? So am I. To keep things short, sweet, and curse-word free he is somewhere wasting time in Canada. At least, that is what I here.

Once I finish my pancakes I sit my plate in the sink. I glance at my phone for the time and its 7:32. “Bye mom”, I say as I walk toward the door to leave for school. “Goodbye sweetheart, have a good day at school!” my mom called from the couch. I shut the door and walk to school. The clouds are very scattered this morning. Maybe they are scared to stay with each other. Or maybe they love each other so much they decided to let each other go. Who really knows?

As I approach Shaston High and many students are rushing to get to their locker and get to class at a decent time. I check my phone again for the time. It’s 7:48. That means I have twenty-seven minutes to get to class. However, I need to get somewhere before then. I scurry to my locker and get all of my necessary supplies for first and second period. I then make it to the opposite site of the campus to get to Mrs. Smith’s class. As I walk up the stairs I can smell the coffee Mrs. Smith makes every morning. As I step into the class room I smile big because I am about to do something I haven’t done in a long time, turn in assignments. Mrs. Smith looks up as she hears my footsteps on the white tile floor. “Good Morning”, I say through my cheesy smile. It’s not that my smile is fake; it’s just that I haven’t had a real genuine smile in months. It feels good. It feels great. “Good morning Kelcie”, Mrs. Smith said as she sipped her black coffee. “I am hear to turn in all my missing assignments. Mrs. Smith looks up in disbelief. “Oh, umm sure!” she says as she shuffles through piles of paper on her desk trying to find something. She then finds a clipboard, and starts to mark the paper viciously. “Thank you so much!, I knew you had it in you”, she says. She smiles really bright. “I knew I had it in me too”, I say. I then turn to the clock. I have about fifteen minutes to get to first period. It feels good to be getting my work done, and being praised for all my hard work. I’m finally back to myself. It has never felt this good.

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