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A Last Lullaby- The Beginning

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Prologue-I met his eyes as I raise the knife.

“Liv,no!” he whispered. As the blade reached it’s target, the words to my song drifted to me:

“When I left, I don’t even think I saw you cry. I am forever broken. You can’t fix me…”

Darkness.

Chapter 1: Pain. 5:45 in the morning and I’m already getting the snot beat out of me.

“What is it this time, Dad?” I whined. Another blow to the back.

“Don’t get smart with me, brat. Get up! I have to be somewhere, so get your a** to school!” he hissed.

“All right, all right.” My hands found the alarm clock and turned it off.
That’s me: Alivia Nathanson. Daughter to John, the abusive alcoholic. I examine myself in the mirror. No black eye today. My eyes narrow as I take in my reflection. Chesnut brown hair, startling green eyes, a perfect tan. I think I’m pretty. My friends think I’d be a knockout without my scar.
That’s right, scar. 1.5 inches across my right eye. Yet another reminder of my dad’s rages.




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Kvothe28 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 28, 2011 at 5:58 pm:
Yes, I would defenietely keep going. You should post the rest too. It could go a lot of places. =)
 
purplemango This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 28, 2011 at 7:58 pm :
I agree-- this could go a lot of places! Keep writing :) Some constructive criticism would be: in your last written paragraph, instead of telling the reader right away about her father, perhaps sh
 
purplemango This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 28, 2011 at 8:01 pm :
oops it sent it before I was finished! anyway, I was thinking you could show the acts of the father and leave the mystery of who he is (the abusive alcoholic) to be unraveled later? just a thought. it's looking great though!
 
DamonSalvatore1864 replied...
Oct. 29, 2011 at 3:23 pm :
Thanks for all the input. I will probably post more later...
 
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