Bread, Butter, and a Blatter Problem

November 18, 2007
By
We were in the grocery store, in the freezer section when it happened. It all started when my Mom asked me to baby sit my brother Danny, and run an errand for her. So I took Little Danny to Gooper's, my Mom’s favorite place to do the one – stop – shopping.
When we arrived at the store, Danny ran off towards the back, and I assumed he was heading towards to the bathrooms. I glanced down at the list Mom had written: Bread, Butter, Milk, Eggs…the usual story, but then I remembered that we still had to eat dinner, and thought that a frozen pizza sounded perfect.
Why didn’t I get a basket? I thought to myself, juggling the groceries. As I turned into the freezer section I saw Danny standing there with an odd look on his face.

“OOPS!” he apologized, pointing to the floor. My eyes immediately dropped, and there, I saw a little puddle of yellow. I dropped the groceries, and scurried off trying to find an employee. I searched almost every isle before I finally found a man restocking the bread isle. I ran over and began to explain. I started to huff out the whole story, but stopped dead when he turned around…it was him.

Chad Hunter was my school’s quarterback, and my crush sense third grade. With his chestnut brown hair and dreamy brown eyes, he had to be the hottest guy in school.

“Use this.” He said, handing me a loaf of bread. Ugh, I thought, why couldn’t God have given him the brains to match his body? Chad was known all over the school to be the “stupid nice guy”.

“Do you, like, have a bladder problem or something?” he interrupted my thoughts, “brutal.”

“No, no, you don’t understand…” I trailed off, how was I supposed to re – explain this to my crush? “I…uum… brought my little brother, and well, it was, I mean, well it wasn’t exactly…I mean he –“

“It’s okay!” he said, “your secret’s safe with me, you don’t have to worry so much.” Oh God. This could only happen to me!

“No, really I swear…”

“I’ll call maintenance.” He said, cutting me off.

“So, then, what’s the bread for?” I asked, bracing myself for a stupid answer, and that’s exactly what I got.

“Well, sense you made the mess, you should help clean it up.” I looked at him, in confusion, and utter disbelief.

“It’ll help absorb!” he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “It’ll help absorb the potty.” He repeated, as if I needed the clarification.

“That’s disgusting!” I said, shoving the bread back into his hands. “And, I’ve already told you my brother’s the one who peed!” I was so worked up that I stormed out of the store, with out my brother, and with out the groceries. When I was about halfway home, I realized how stupid I had been, and sprinted back to the store, letting my imagination run wild with all the things that could have happened to Little Danny because of my childish tantrum.

When I finally arrived back inside, I was shocked. There stood Chad, with Little Danny in his arms. Danny was wearing a new outfit, and was holding the dirty one in a Gooper's grocery bag.

“That’ll be $23.50, ma’am.” He said handing me my brother and the groceries. “I guess you don’t have a bladder problem anyway.” And at that I cracked up, probably a little louder than I needed to.

“Thank you so much!” I said, fighting the urge to hug him.

Looking down into the grocery bag, I saw bread, butter, eggs, pizza, milk, and a box of chocolate chip cookies. As if reading my mind he said,

“You left the list in the freezer isle, and I figured you couldn’t buy milk with out chocolate chip cookies!” We both laughed, and a what – seemed – to – be – forever awkward silence followed.

“Well… thanks again,” I said breaking the silence, “oh, and good luck at the game tomorrow!” I turned to the door.

“Will you be there?” he said. I stopped dead in my tracks.

“Well, I wasn’t really planning on it, but if you want me t-, I mean…”

“That’d be cool.” He said.

“Okay, then I guess I’ll see you there…” I said trying to hide the excitement in my voice.

“Awesome, see you later then.” He smiled his toothy smile, and I just about died.

“Yea, see you.” I said. My stomach flipping more than a fish on the beach.

I’ve never been so happy, and felt so sick in my life, and as I walked away I wondered if he felt the same way, or if asking girls to come to his games was just a developed habit.





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