Anger. It’s both a fire and an ice, coursing at warp speed through veins that will hardly contain it. It is an acid, destroying everything in its path. A virus, infecting every particle of being. An energy demanding release. It means screaming at the top of your lungs, shouting the worst things you can fathom, tearing at your vitals, at your heart, until the pain is so unbearable, you break down and cry.
Sadness. It’s sitting alone in an unfamiliar room at a party you never wanted to come to. It’s the goose flesh that breaks out along your skin as you lean your forehead against the cold glass of the window, wanting to escape. It’s the despair when they have disappointed you again. It’s drowning in a lake while the world watches as you sink, and does nothing. It means waiting for tomorrow, even if you wait forever.
Hopelessness. You stand in the middle of a crowded room, and nothing makes you smile. Someone tries to touch you, but they are too late. You can’t feel them anymore. Yesterday is today is tomorrow. There is no waiting. There is no enduring. There is no surviving. There is only existing, though it is not enough.
Indifference. The smile will not reach you eyes. The words he says are superficial. You feel nothing. You wait for time to pass as you wait for the mood to leave with him. The man may be on his knees, begging mercy. Begging forgiveness. You only see what you have seen. It is an incredible bias that cannot be broken.
Solace. You do not laugh. You do not cry. You do not wait. You exist, but that is enough. It is coming home, even if nobody is there. It is a long sleep after a wakefulness that did not want to end. It is feeling after being numb for so very long. It means breathing in, and then out, and looking forward to tomorrow without rushing it.
Contentedness. A friend comes over and you watch a movie together. You laugh when the movie is funny, and you speak when something comes to mind. When the movie is over, you sit face to face. There is no pressure. Rays of sun filter in through the window as a shower ends. It means the day wasn’t everything; it was what you needed. You know you can wait for the things you want.
Happiness. It means laughing until you cry for no reason at all. You feel everything, and you want to. It also means touching others. It means feeling light. It means letting the thought of tomorrow move to the back of your mind because why would you rush today?
Contemplation. It means knowing. It means understanding. Understanding that you will not know who or what angers you next. It means knowing that, inevitably, it will happen. It means accepting that it is a never ending cycle, and life is a path, built in a circle by the powers that be. It is wondering why the sky is blue and the grass is green and what love and life are. It is considering the anomalies, considering the fact that things are not always sequential. It means contentedness. It means hopelessness. It means indifference. It means happiness, anger, sadness, and solace. It is a question with no answer. It is the anticipation, eager or not, of what is coming next.
Sadness. It’s sitting alone in an unfamiliar room at a party you never wanted to come to. It’s the goose flesh that breaks out along your skin as you lean your forehead against the cold glass of the window, wanting to escape. It’s the despair when they have disappointed you again. It’s drowning in a lake while the world watches as you sink, and does nothing. It means waiting for tomorrow, even if you wait forever.
Hopelessness. You stand in the middle of a crowded room, and nothing makes you smile. Someone tries to touch you, but they are too late. You can’t feel them anymore. Yesterday is today is tomorrow. There is no waiting. There is no enduring. There is no surviving. There is only existing, though it is not enough.
Indifference. The smile will not reach you eyes. The words he says are superficial. You feel nothing. You wait for time to pass as you wait for the mood to leave with him. The man may be on his knees, begging mercy. Begging forgiveness. You only see what you have seen. It is an incredible bias that cannot be broken.
Solace. You do not laugh. You do not cry. You do not wait. You exist, but that is enough. It is coming home, even if nobody is there. It is a long sleep after a wakefulness that did not want to end. It is feeling after being numb for so very long. It means breathing in, and then out, and looking forward to tomorrow without rushing it.
Contentedness. A friend comes over and you watch a movie together. You laugh when the movie is funny, and you speak when something comes to mind. When the movie is over, you sit face to face. There is no pressure. Rays of sun filter in through the window as a shower ends. It means the day wasn’t everything; it was what you needed. You know you can wait for the things you want.
Happiness. It means laughing until you cry for no reason at all. You feel everything, and you want to. It also means touching others. It means feeling light. It means letting the thought of tomorrow move to the back of your mind because why would you rush today?
Contemplation. It means knowing. It means understanding. Understanding that you will not know who or what angers you next. It means knowing that, inevitably, it will happen. It means accepting that it is a never ending cycle, and life is a path, built in a circle by the powers that be. It is wondering why the sky is blue and the grass is green and what love and life are. It is considering the anomalies, considering the fact that things are not always sequential. It means contentedness. It means hopelessness. It means indifference. It means happiness, anger, sadness, and solace. It is a question with no answer. It is the anticipation, eager or not, of what is coming next.
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