Once upon a time, there was a boy named Damen, which is just “named” spelled backwards with the vowels switched. Damen was ashamed of his name, and was constantly trying to hide it from the other kids.

“I would to, if I had a name like that,” said School Counselor Demannu.

“You have no right to talk,” said Damen, “your name is just ‘unnamed’ spelled backwards. At least my name is backwards with a twist.”

“I think the real reason you don’t have any friends is because you’re such a jerk,” said School Counselor Demannu.

“I think the real reason your wife left you is because your less of a man than me, and I still have two years till puberty,” said Pre-Pubes Damen.

“Get out of my office, you little punk!” said the Sub-Male Untenured School Counselor Demannu.

“Man his job title’s long!” thought PP Damen.

While SMUSC Demannu was crying softly in his office, PP Damen went out onto the playground to announce his new job title. Upon telling his classmates this, he was further ridiculed. But now he had to deal with being called PeePee Damen. This name carried over with him into his later years at the nursing home where he also earned the title “The King of Depends.”

SMUSC Demannu eventually left the school to become a professional Sub-Male at a circus, where he lived happily to the end of his Fridays, before having to go home every weekend to listen to his Ex’s messages about why he should have followed Damen’s lead and become a man. And he cried.
THE END