Milk Monologue

April 29, 2010
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"Are you leaving right now??
Every single time, EVERY TIME, he hangs up on me.
I dial, he yells, I yell back, and the dial tone takes the conversation.
Did I make that clear? My father is the most impatient phone-dyslexic there is!
"Hello? Dad! Did you pick up the milk?"
(I start with the easy stuff, so he realizes that I'm not calling to be a nusence).
"Yah," he says. He's got the milk.
"Ok great! Did you get the red peppers and the Special K cereal and the coffee ice cream? It's on sale at Pathmark.
He hung up.
Really?? He hung up? How unusual.
Well, fuck this, I'm calling back. How rude of him!
"Did his mother teach him no manners," my mom always says.
"Nah, Mom, no manners," we agree.
We are unheard.
"Dad? Did you get the grapes - the red ones! And the italian hero that's on sale at pathmark?
"Yes, yes, great! You got the bread, milk, and eggs.. But did you get the -- "
Dial tone.
Lifeless telephone.
Unpaid cellphone.
I cannot get through to him.
Just once, I wish he would let me finish my sentence, my thought.
And he doesn't even listen to any one of us.
"It's Cooie. Dad hung up on me. I'll go get the grapes - the red ones right?
"O.K. Love you!"

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blackbird704 said...
Nov. 8, 2010 at 2:00 am
haha i really like this and can somewhat relate
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