Cancer

April 28, 2008
By
The suns rays shine through the curtains resting gently on my face. The dull aching pain sets in my entire body as I let out a groan. I look over at the tousled bed sheets; her body entangled among the blankets, her legs splayed wildly, hair knotted and messy, her face, peaceful, and serene, showing signs of deep slumber. Through many painful efforts I manage to sit up in bed, my bones wore down, heavy. I thank god for the blessing that is another day of life. But why this life? Why now? What’ve I done to deserve this, what has she, my innocent little girl done? We have gone through so much already, I lost my wife, she, her mother. And now she’s going to have to lose her FATHER?! That just isn’t fair. All the things I am going to miss, all the first dates, all the rowdy boys. Who will be there to protect her? Who will be by her side? Her graduation? Her wedding? Oh my god why? I hear slight rustling.

She jumps up waking with a start. “Daddy! Daddy! Look I waked up!” she yells cheerfully, knees bent jumping up and down on the cushiony bed. Her sun streaked curls fall in tight curly tendrils along her sweet angelic face. She leaps towards me, landing in my lap, pain shoots up my entire body, I try and hold it in, but the expression is written all over my face, and a loud groan escapes my chapped lips.

“Daddy, you don’t feel good again? Did I hurt you? Im sorry daddy.” She whispers in a sweet but scared voice. I look up at her eyes, they seem deeper then any ocean and wider then any sea. Her rosy pink lips quiver as she waits for me to respond. Her soft cheeks look flushed with a cherry red tint. Seeing that concerned look on her face, looking at her big innocent eyes so wide and scared reminds me of her mother when I was taken to the hospital.

“Daddy I’m sorry.” She whispers and plants her hand in mine, smiling wider then before.

A grin breaks along my lips parting them into a chuckle, then form into a wide belly laugh.
“No you didn’t hurt daddy! Im just fine!” I yell through my smile.

I muster up all the strength in my crippled body to jump back at her tickling her to tears. Her laughter fills the entire room bringing it to life again, reminding me of my only reason to keep living. Tears of happiness fill the corners of my eyes knowing I get to spend another beautiful morning with the most beautiful blue eyed girl in the world; My precious little girl, my biggest little blessing, my darling little Jasmin.





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