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The Forest: Identity Identified

“We’re gonna dominate the super deluxe animal band competition tonight” Rocky said from his seat.










He and the rest of the band were on their rented private jet to the place where the competition would take place; everyone was wearing a suit which was unusual for this animal band.

“We already had an advantage seeing as how most of the competition doesn’t do adult music, but seeing as how I personally know our competition I have to say we have a seriously unfair advantage” Ricky stated as he read a magazine.




“Dude, the only reason you said that is because you’ve been in love with most of our competition; last year when we got beat by (insert name of favorite animal band here) one of them walked over to you and said ‘see you tonight’ as if you guys planned something. Seriously, stop banging the competition!” Kyle responded.



There was a short pause while the band began looking out the windows of the jet and seeing he night from high up.








“Hey guys, if you look out the windows there’s a couple of hooters” Rocky said.

Everyone was looking out into the night harder now, but seeing in the cloudiness was harder than they were when they thought about those hooters.




In the end they saw two owls flying next to each other in the night.



“I just wanna stick a cell phone between em’ and put it on vibrate!” Chatter said with enthusiasm in his high pitched voice.






Once they reached the super deluxe award ceremony they all waited patiently for the name of their band.









“Well, here’s the award for the most incredible animal band of the year” Joan Rivers said.











“Wow, she has a brand new face just for tonight” Ricky said to himself.


“And the winner is….. scar faced Charlie and the cricket on his shoulder” Joan Rivers continued.









One man with black hair and a trench coat walked over to the stage to get his award; he also had an extremely light mark on his face.





Chatter stood still with a blank look on his face, Kyle was furious, Ricky was practically biting his arm off and Rocky was crying.






“But the award for sexiest animal band goes to the Forest Friends” Joan Rivers finished with what seemed like a smile.







Rocky walked up to the stage (seeing as how he was the leader of the band); he then said his speech for what he would have said if he got the other award.



“Well, we know that we’re not as popular as some of he other bands out there but in the end we’re one of the only bands that feature animals that can be more explicit; that’s what can set us apart….. this band is the real live thing” Rocky said.



They must have liked him because the crowd cheered.




“Why are all of our wallets missing?” Kyle asked the group while they were on their trip home.










“Scar Faced Charlie stole them when we were at that place; he also took my watch and Ricky’s (insert name of favorite band here) CD” Chatter said.



Everyone was looking at Ricky again.






“It was a gift after a good time; did you want me to say no?” Ricky asked; Rocky nodded quickly in response.









“Great job warning us ahead of time” Kyle sarcastically said to Chatter as they left the plane; it was then that it exploded.







“Did I mention he also rigged the plain?” Chatter asked.




“I’m okay; I’m used to this” the pilot said as he got up from the wreckage and walked away.











“Why would that guy steal our wallets and try to get rid of us?” Rocky asked.

“You still don’t get it, do you?” a voice asked casually; everyone saw Scar Faced Charlie walking towards them with a bazooka.






“I’m a cartoon slayer; you guys may have human rights but since I have your identification I’ve stolen your identities. Now I am you so killing you isn’t murder….. It’s suicide” he continued.


Everyone was practically speechless when they heard this.




“Why do they call you scar faced when you only have a small mark; you’re more like Scratched Faced Charlie” Kyle stated.







“Enough, now you shall all die….. well, either die or be badly harmed for a while before I’m able to find something to load this gun with” Charlie continued.


“You got a bazooka so you could kill us but you didn’t get any ammo for it; ” Rocky said.



Charlie gave him the evil eye and Rocky stared back for a little while; they were all really, really calm before the animals got beaten with a bazooka.



“Well that was a great idea; let’s go agitate the cartoon slayer so he can beat us with his weapon” Ricky said; he and the gang were bandaged up at the local vet now.

“Was that supposed to be dirty?” Chatter asked; obviously he was hoping for it to be dirty.










“No, but I could make it dirty provided you want me to; I’m sure we could all use a visit from mister sick thrill now” Ricky responded; he was barley able to see who he was talking to because they put a funnel on him.






Kyle was using crutches and Chatter and Rocky had half their limbs bandaged.

“Well, now that Scar Faced Charlie just stole the title of the sexiest animal band of the year it’s time to find a solution to this mess” Rocky stated.




“We could steal his identity and try killing him, or we could just wait until the guy spends all of our money buying ammunition for his gun” Kyle stated.



“I already picked his pocket when he was beating us up” Chatter said just before he tossed a wallet on the ground.








“Hey guys get this; his official job is being a cartoon slayer for the Association of Character Killers. These are the guys who secretly replaced the original Disney characters with people like Hannah Montana and the Jonas brothers” Rocky said once he managed to pick up the wallet with his good arm and look at it.




“Our cartoon cousins will be forever missed, but now we have to fight for our lives before they replace us too” Ricky said.







“Let’s kill the guy….. wait, can cartoons kill people?” Chatter asked.


“I wasn’t even sure cartoons could die until I came close after getting hit with that huge weapon Charlie had” Kyle said; Rocky and Ricky giggled in response.


After they had healed the Forest Friends (yes, you finally know the name of their band) headed out and met up with Scar Faced Charlie in a meadow.



“So, you’ve finally come to take back your identities” Charlie said.


“Let’s just skip the dialogue” Kyle said as he got a small metal cylinder out of his coat pocket.











“Did you get that light saber from my science fiction trunk?” Ricky asked.


“No, this is my metal water bottle which I planned on trading for our identities” Kyle responded.










“I want to fight the raccoon, you see….. Richard Theodore Raccoon the seventh was the one who scarred me; right now I’m sure that’s Ricky” Charlie said.


“Oh yeah, you called me a rodent” Ricky said now remembering.



“What’s wrong with being a rodent?” Chatter asked; brown tree squirrels such as himself had some pride.

Everyone just laughed in response.







“Wait, Ricky since when is your middle name Theo?” Kyle asked; Charlie was still waiting for the fight.









“If you abbreviate my whole name it’s Ricky The. Raccoon; it never got old, even after seven generations” Ricky responded.







“Can we fight now?” Charlie asked.







“Why don’t we just trade for our identities back; we don’t want to be a cartoon slayer and you probably don’t want to be a cartoon” Kyle explained.



“Okay fine, but only because I lost the bazooka and I think I could find better ways to kill you later” Charlie responded.







Everyone knew that went way too well, but in the end I guess all of us would have to wait for the cartoon fight; sorry.





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