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The Forest: Attack of the Fan Fiction
It was a beautiful sunny day in The Forest, Massachusetts; animals talked happily in a massive crowd while waiting for the big moment. Some of them took pictures on their cell phones and others got out paper for autographs; they were hoping to see the most popular animal band in the whole forest. This was the day when they would pass through for autographs and pictures, and then they would sell shirts with their images on them for an unbelievable $9.99. A narrator could really take advantage of a deal like that… and I will.
Everyone was waiting outside of a huge stadium where the band usually performed and the crowd went wild once four animals stepped out of the building.
“See, I told you they love big entrances” a skunk said to another animal; he had to talk over the screams of fan girls. He wore a yellow t shirt and the red sneakers that everyone in the band wore.
“Yeah, but since when do they wanna… oh never mind you can’t hear me” responded a raccoon wearing a blue shirt; he also had on a backwards hat with his ears sticking out of it.
Behind them were two more band members; a black footed ferret with a trench coat and a small brown squirrel. The ferret was a risk taking guy named Kyle and the squirrel was a crazy little guy with a high pitched voice named Chatter.
All of the animals were cartoonish and were much larger than their wild cousins; here a raccoon standing up would reach a person’s waist and a squirrel could reach their knee.
“Oh my gosh you guys are so hot in real life” a random fan girl told Kyle as he wrote his name on her t shirt.
“Your nose looks kinda like the skunks’; do you have a little weasel in you?” asked a random guy; he and the fan girl were both human.
“Not unless you’re talking about the time Rocky got a little too friendly” Kyle answered jokingly; Rocky was the skunk that was the leader of the band while Ricky was his close friend and a very unpredictable raccoon.
The four of them continued signing shirts, paws, hands and even some random rocks that people saw lying around before thinking “Hey since I don’t have any paper maybe I could use that”; the nerve.
Soon the day was over and the four animals found themselves in Rocky’s burrow; now keep in mind that even though it was a hole dug into the ground the place was nice. The burrow had a metal door that led down into a living room that may have had dirt walls but it also had a sofa, plasma screen TV, two more rooms, and pretty much every luxury a rock star would want; the place was extravagant… or just plain pimped out. Choose whichever one you want because it won’t change anything for me… I’m just a narrator.
“That was awesome; did you see those girls” Rocky said; he and the rest of the band were on his large sofa facing the television.
“I think one of them took my shoe” Ricky said; the raccoon was completely lost in that crowd before.
“One of them said I sounded like a chipmunk” Chatter said.
“Well aren’t you one eighth chipmunk” Kyle asked; he actually didn’t care that much seeing as how he wasn’t a specist.
That’s right I just made up a word… take that proper speakers.
“That’s why you can sing” Rocky stated; now he was being specist… haha I said it again.
“Hey, check this out” Kyle said showing everyone the screen of his laptop; he got bored when he realized they were all sitting before a television set that was turned off.
All of the animals saw a website dedicated to fan fiction about the stories that talked about their band; that’s right… just like the story you’re reading now.
“They’ve even got fan art and… whoa that isn’t exactly fan art. Okay they’ve got drawings of us doing stuff but they have good fan fiction” Kyle went on casually.
“I think that in that story I become a knight… yeah I’ve seen this site before” Rocky said as he started looking over Kyle’s shoulder to see the screen.
“And in another story they wrote ‘Ricky fell onto his knees moaning in ecstasy’… that’s some fan fiction” Ricky said while looking at the screen as well.
“They’re sick and I love it” Chatter said in his high pitched voice; animals tended to have less taboos that humans so they were more likely to tell the truth about their guilty pleasures… but Chatter only did because he was crazy.
Chatter and Kyle soon left and Ricky was the only one left with Rocky back at his burrow; they were now looking at the fan art and fan fiction of themselves on Rocky’s computer.
“In this one we’re… whoa” Rocky began; just in case you haven’t figured it out yet some of that fan fiction wasn’t exactly clean.
“I don’t think these are all that bad” Ricky commented. Yet again not having taboos made the animals act like nothing was a secret.
“You know now I kinda feel funny” Rocky stated.
Ricky gazed into the skunk’s deep blue eyes and sighed calmly. Slowly the two moved closer together; their lips would have met but Rocky hit Ricky over the head with a frying pan before that could happen.
“Oh man, it’s worse than I thought; when they write fan fiction about the band doing anything we actually do it” Rocky said.
“That means some of us will become knights while others will… oh great” Ricky stated as he got up from the ground.
Suddenly Kyle came bursting into the room wearing knight’s armor (minus the helmet; that would have looked sooooooo tacky for him).
“Guys, Chatter just got massacred by a falling tree… he’s dead” he said; now that was almost unbelievable, but maybe there was some way out of this.
“I know who we have to talk to” Ricky stated.
Soon the band was gathered atop a hill before a large land turtle; none of them could imagine what he would say.
“Okay here’s your advice; what you need to do is make them stop writing fan fiction. Maybe they should lose interest in you” the turtle said in his old and raspy voice.
“Isn’t there a better way to fix this Mr. Snapper” Rocky asked.
“Maybe; come here and I’ll tell you” the turtle responded. He was soon whispering to Rocky a very nice idea.
“That’s fantastic; thanks Mr. Snapper!” Rocky said before he and the gang left.
Soon Rocky was doing what he was told; he began writing fan fiction about himself and put in that all the stuff that went wrong was put right.
“Nice job Rocky, but in the end maybe all of us need to live with what the fans do” Ricky pointed out as Chatter reappeared.
“You mean when they write fan fiction about all of us becoming knights, or dying we have to live with it?” Rocky asked; it’s not like fan fiction would affect their lives again anyway, am I right? Who am I kidding, you don’t know.
“Maybe Ricky’s right; since we’re cartoons that do whatever people decide to write the things that they do will always affect us. But it’s all just a temporary thing and in the end we’re back to our normal selves, maybe all of us need to force a smile and enjoy their fan fiction” Kyle explained.
“You know what they say; smiles are like STDs..... they’re contagious” Chatter said happily.
“But you can’t get smiles from a toilet seat” Rocky pointed out.