Trapped in an Elevator

January 13, 2009
By Tanner Janusz, Hartland, WI

Trapped in an Elevator

George W. Bush was just walking into an elevator when he was joined by a good looking blonde girl
who he realized was Jessica Simpson. "Oh my gosh, your Jessica Simpson!" said George excitedly,
in a thick Texas accent "Yeah, and what's your name?" "Um, I'm George W. Bush," said the
president. "Like, hi." "Don't you know who I am?" said George surprised. "Uh, No."
"I'm the President of the United States!" said George angrily. "But, I thought you said your
name was George, not Bill?" said Jessica confused. "Bill Clinton was the president eight years
ago," said George furiously. The two sat in silence, George sat angrily while Jessica Simpson was
still confused and pondering how she had gone eight years into the future. Suddenly the elevator
stopped on the ninth floor and a strange looking man wearing a trench coat and carrying a hockey
mask entered the elevator. "Like, who are you?" said Jessica curiously. The strange man stood in
silence not showing any sign that he heard Jessica. "Oh my god!" said Jessica." Are you a
serial killer? Are you going to kill me?!" Jessica had noticed the blood stains on the hockey mask
and thought the worst. "Yes." Said the serial killer, "and, no." "So, you're like not a
serial killer but you're gonna kill me anyway?!" "What?!" said the serial killer, "No, I
am a serial killer but I only kill older men from Texas who are involved in politics." G Dub heard
this from his corner of the elevator and knew that he would have to use some strategerie to
inicifacate an escape plan. W was only equipped with a small container of petroleum, importified
from Iraq of course, and quickly thought of a plan. As the elevator doors opened he dumped the
petroleum on the serial killer and ran for the stairwell. Jessica was now left alone in the elevator
for about two floors when the doors suddenly opened and entering the elevator was none other than
the famed Hugh Heffner followed by Dr. Phil. "Why hello there beautiful," said the Hef man,
"how are you today?" "Like, hi," said Jessica, "What year is it?" "Um, its 2008,"
said Dr. Phil from his side of the elevator, "are you O.K. miss Simpson? "Ha, I knew that George
guy was a liar!""You are an idiot!" said Dr. Phil

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