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Guide for the apocalypse
Pretty sure you have heard from those video games and movies about zombies before the apocalypse started. Now it is the year 2034 and a virus has killed most humans and made them into zombies that are searching for the last of us. I will preserve this experience for the next generation.
First thing you better do when zombies are coming is to leave your Mountain Dew and your pizza with extra cheese at home. Go find a freaking gun or a machete or something else dangerous or explosive.
The most important thing to do when the deathcrawlers, (that is what I call them) come is look badass.You have to look so intimidating that you scare the hell out of yourself when you look into a mirror , that will give you better chances to survive!
I remember when I found out what was going on. I was at college at the University of Wisconsin at night, listening to rednecks shooting soda cans. I was sitting inside playing World of Warcraft at Level 95, to the left of me was a leaning tower of pizza boxes. To the right of me was a window through which I was watching the neighbors.
Late at night, I heard knocking at the door and somebody yelling “Alina” in the background. I knew this name - the neighbor’s daughter. I opened the door expecting this beautiful girl to be talking to me. But as the door fully opened, I saw the most disgusting thing I have ever seen.
The neighbor’s daughter appeared with her face full of blood, smelling like a dead animal that has been laying in the sun for two weeks. She opened her mouth to bite me but before that could happen, I heard a shot and I felt many many warm things splattered on my face. The girl was falling to the ground and behind her was her dad with a gun in his hand.He cried but I could not do anything I was shocked.I just stood there staring at my neighbour that just shot his daughter.
At first, it was hard to accept what just happened. I hated and understood Alina’s father at the same time. Now I am on my way to the south. People are telling me about the “Free Zone,” the last place that is zombie free.
Currently I am driving down the road in a stolen truck that I picked up in Madison.I first thought the truck was left behind and empty, I wasn’t that sure about that as I saw the owner of the truck crawling under the seat with a face that looked like a brown pillow you sat on for two hours.
After two hours of driving I stopped at a abandoned Whole Foods
Grocery store to pick up some food.The virus increased so fast that everybody left town without picking up food. One good thing about this whole apocalypse-you sure gonna die-thing is you can stop at a Whole Foods and pick up some snacks without spending 30 dollars for a pack of Doritos.Another good thing about the apocalypse is that I am seeing more of the world than just a screen and a keyboard. The zombies woke me up.
Yeah people would write stories about me if they weren’t dead.
One day I was driving down the highway nearby Jefferson City and a dead deer was laying in the middle of the road and I didn’t want my brand new stolen truck to be covered in deer-gut-jam so I stepped out and wanted to pull it away but the moment I stooped a gun was pointed at me and a man stepped out of the shadow. It wasn’t that epic as it may sounds because the next second he stepped on a tire laying around and fell on his dramatic ass. And then we just stood there looking at each other both with guns in our hands.We both had not seen another human that didn’t want us for dinner since the apocalypse broke out.So I thought about how stupid it was that two of the last humans on earth want to shoot each other so I lowered my gun and asked him:”Need a drive?”He asked:”South?” I nodded. He got into my car and we drove, hours and hours without saying a word. We were sleeping in the car and then driving again.And I am not kidding were not talking at all except for the times we were deciding who would drive the next day.
I woke up with a headache, I should not play that much videogames.
What a weird dream.